Mother of 9 year old diagnosed with Asperger

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My 9 year old was diagnosed last year with asperger, because the way she is behaving in her elementary school. Her behavior to me is normal, however, the school seems to think that because she shows social disconnection for her peers, loves to work with adults (remind you, she is the only child),she seems to grasp the school material, but refuses to place the material down on paper. She works well when the information is provided to her visually, but doesnt grasp it very well down on paper. My daughter has been told she as learning problems from this school since she was in kindergarten, from ADD, ADHD, to AUTISM, and now Asperger syndrome. I have done alot of research of this learning disorder, however, I would like to find a doctor near us, in the hampton roads area of virginia to get a more clear answer.

Hello!

Sounds like me at age 9.

Welcome

Welcome to WrongPlanet. It's amazing how teachers like to go through the whole Alphabet Soup.

Welcome to WP! Can't say I can help you with suggesting a doc. It did occur to me though, as I read your post, that I think my AS son seems more "normal" to me at home than he does to others who aren't so used to him. I am not saying that your daughter definitely has AS, but often it is surprising how much others notice that your child is different. All the best.

It's funny that my son was diagnosed at age 9 too. He seemed pretty OK (a few quirks) to me except in school. That's where his "differences" stuck out - he was a square peg in a round hole there. That's why we now homeschool and life is much better for all of us.

Welcome! This board will help you a great deal with all your concerns and questions.

Your daughter sounds a lot like my son. My son didn't fit into school at all. I started homeschooling him and his self-esteem has rebounded. The school professionals said so many negative things about him and made all kinds of dire predictions about his future.

Welcome! Good luck finding a dr, it was difficult for us to find one (in ND) but we did some research and found a good one. Is there an AS support group where you are that you might be able to get some leads from? I think my son is normal too. He doesn't have any issues at home; it's only in the screwy school environment that there are problems but we are hesitant to pull him out and homeschool because, even with the problems, he loves school. Best of luck!

I have taken my 8 (almost 9) year old son (diagnosed Aspergers) to so many different doctors in my area and I have to admit, I have found more helpful information doing my own research and observation than they were able to provide for us. Each child is different and there is no "right way" to handle every situation that comes up. I would recommend finding an occupational therapist as my son seems to gain alot from his visits and really enjoys it. I agree with a previous response that our children seem more "normal" to us at home than they do to others, just simply because we are used to their behavior and they are more comfortable at home. I was SHOCKED when it was first suggested to me that my child was "different". He is extremely bright and loving, but when it comes to certain social interactions and verbal/written communication, he hits some barriers. The best thing you can do is be VERY involved in your child's school and incorporate social skills lessons into your everyday life so that it doesn't seem like lessons.

Best of luck to you and your child blessed with Aspergers. I do believe it is a gift.

I think you should just keep reading, reading, reading. Here, articles, and so on. Once I started to do that, I realized that Aspergers absolutely fit my son. It's a way of thinking and interpreting the world more than anything. It isn't always obvious. And it comes with gifts to offset the burdens, so it isn't a negative sentence at all; not nearly as scary as common publicity would make it seem.

I only have a school diagnosis for my son, and I am happy with that. Once we have a medical diagnosis, it will become something that he cannot someday choose to let go of. This way, he can. He can keep it, or discard it, whatever works best for him.

For my son, having the school work with him on the assumption that he has Aspergers has been a blessing. He gets accomodations for his difficulties that allow his strengths to shine all the more brightly. He became much happier in school once he started receiving services. He gets more leeway to be himself from teachers; he gets more defense if other kids are rough to him; he gets more encouragement to follow his unique inspirations.

My son has a lot of difficulty writing, btw. Your daughter could have roadblocks that keep her from wanting to communicate that way. Writing is a multi-task process, and can be difficult for certain Aspies. Which is fine while a child is young and can get away with memorizing and reciting; but what happens when the work load exceeds memory? Or when the only way a teacher will accept work is in writing? My son has an IEP plan for all of this.

Ultimately, a label is worth no more or less than what it can accomplish for your child. If the label will help your daughter be a happier and more successful student, great. If not, dump it.

The refusal to put stuff on paper maybe frustration with motor coordination, how is her handwriting?

Welcome! Our school officially dx'd (or rather accepted our previous dx) our son with AS and ADHD this year, and he turned nine in January. What a long strange trip it's been. I hope you find information and possibly friends here.

I would suggest going to the local Autism society to see of there are any Aspergers parents support groups in you area. People who have been involved in these groups usually have a good idea of who the competent clinicians are. I would suggest a clinicians who is highly educated in spectrum issues including at least 100 hours of continuing educations from nationally recognized spectrum educators in the last 2 years and which have spectrum children as a major portion of there practice. This should avoid your child getting further alphabet soup diagnosis by incompetent clinicians.

IF you have not read Tony Attwood, The Complete Guide To Aspergers C/2007 (available on Amazon for about $25) that should be your first read.

Below are some additional thoughts to help you with your “perception” of the issue.


It is important to understand that aseprgers is a neurovariant. It is only a disorder to the extent that we base this on neurotypical society, educational system and expectations. The most recognized variation is the lack of innate social skills, but some children, especially girls have a high ability to develop “on their own” portions of the intellectual replacement skills that are needed to “function” in neurotypical society.
The primary way that our mind process information if quite different. Visual input is our preferred mode for both input and analysis since it brings in large “blocks’ of information without doing linear discrimination. We use non-linear processing which is much more “efficient” when dealing with complex problems. And being non-discriminatory we just accumulate information without putting it in a hierarchy thereby allowing us to generate creative solutions, which would not be considered by neurotypicals. The neurotypical based school system is auditory based (reading is an auditory process) and utilized linear structured analysis model with major social components in both the non-curricular environment and the academic curriculum. Having the school make the adaptation to a more appropriate model is a challenge and getting them to teach the social skill/ theory of mind/adaptive EF skills to allow the child to function in a neurotypical environment with at tolerable level of anxiety is a must.

Who has the learning problem, your child or the school?

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