What to tell a 7 yr old?

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If my seven year old sees me make Aspie social mistakes, CORRECTLY identifies the mistake and asks "Daddy what did you do that for"?, what do I tell him?

what kind of mistake?

is it ok to tell him that you made a mistake?

For example, I melted down (and chewed out the employee) once when McDonald's goofed up mine and my son's order.

if you know that you were wrong, you can tell him that.

if you are trying to not be a bad influence on him behaviorally, in that situation, you can concentrate on how you might want him to react in that situation. talk to him and let him know your feelings at the time and that you are frustrated, but you know how to fix the problem. this may help you keep calm while you find a reasonable solution. let him know that you can fix the problem without getting angry. then when the problem is resolved, he will have the impression that you are a man that knows how to get things done, instead of some crazy yelling guy that he doesn't understand.

So...did your son witness you going back and apologizing to the employee?

Good point. I think it is good for kids to understand that their parents are not perfect. I hated that my parents pretended that everything was OK all the time and they never had problems. It is very confusing and just makes a kid feel worse when they have problems or make mistakes. Some hw some parents have gotten the idea that if they show any "weakness" that their authority will no longer be respected. I didn't have much respect for authority any way but I would have had more respect for their honesty.

i think one of the most important things, other than working on improving your own issues ( i have them too), is to make sure your children know you have apologized. better still if they see you apologize.

Yes, I agree with the above posters. Because no one is perfect, it is important to set an example for how to handle your imperfections:

Acknowledge what you did wrong.

Explain why it was wrong (if the kid doesn't already understand).

Do what you can to correct the problem, including apologizing, and be sure to emphasize the importance of this.

After this, you might want to offer some kind of explanation for your behavior, such as, "I have meltdowns. They're very bad because they upset people. It's hard for me to control them, but I am working on this. It's important to me to get better at controlling these meltdowns because I want to be the best parent I can be for you, since you're so important to me."

i agree with the rest of the posters.

i have a couple questions though:
does your son know you have aspergers?
if so does he know what it means?
if not why doesn't he know?

i say this becasue i think it may be impotant for him to know that his dad is not the crazy guy who yells at people but knows there's a deeper reason for it than a lack of self control. if he doesn't know and sees you doing it then he may learn that it is "acceptable" behavior and mimic it. this may or may not be a problem but just a thought from how i see it.