Behavior

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I have a 4 year old daughter who seems to exhibit ADHD symptoms. She can be obstinate, sass back and tantrums. I think we are dealing ok with those, but am open to any help. My real question though is how to effectively deal with her grabbing my arm for instance when she's angry or on rare occassions a push?

Sounds like a typical 4 year old to me.

That seems pretty typical to me.

It does sound like typical 4 year old behavior.

With respect to the arm grabbing, if you can, just ignore it and keep doing whatever you were doing so you don't encourage it. Fortunately adults are still stronger than 4 year olds.

Mostly I suspect she's trying to get your attention, so it may also help to make sure you give her some attention when she needs it.

I see. Maybe I over analyzed it as both her father and I are ADD. The few children I've kept did not act like that so I assumed it may be ADD related. I would say we are both spectrum as well. My friend has a severe ADD child and thought she was seeing signs of it in my daughter.

I suppose I'll take a deep breath and try to relax and not be so concerned with her grabbing and pushing. When in public no one has complained about her behavior so that's a good thing.

You should let her know it isn't appropriate and that if it persists you will consider issuing consequences. Talk about it in a neutral time.

When she grabs for attention, ignore it.

When she grabs or pushes in anger, tell her clearly that it is not OK to do that.

If it doesn't improve after a reasonable time, revisit the strategy.