Fake vomiting

Post Reply New Topic

His writing stinks, obviously....he has AS. When he's on his meds he can write perfectly, though (if he cares to try).

He's spills them while eating. Fork to mouth is an adventure. He's 10, though...not 2.

i guess that makes me 2 also-i spill stuff all the time.

He won't get stuff carried for him because he's 10, not 2. If he spill sit he can clean it up. That's life.

i work with 21 year olds who can't carry things for themselves...........why is it so hard for you to accept the fact that this boy has trouble ? why is it so hard for you to accomodate him ?

You haven't got the first clue. I'm not gonna enable his social inadaquecies and physical limitations, though. We'll work on correcting them together....not embracing them or avoiding them. The progress that's been made over the past few months thru sheer determination and hard headedness has been astounding. So much so that you folks probably wouldn't even believe it if I told you.

Well, scrambled eggs can be quite messy to eat. Why don't you put a piece of sheeting or paper under his chair when he's eating, so anything that falls can easily be cleaned up at the end of the meal.

Meanwhile, working on his skills in handling cutlery and getting the food into his mouth. Praise and other forms of positive reinforcement for what he can achieve may be more effective than making him clear up the mess when you know that it makes him gag.

I'm sorry but I do think I have a clue.

Sure, anything can be accomplished if it is important enough to everyone involved.

The question, however, is: at what cost?

As parents, we learn to pick our battles. It's a constant process of weighing the desired result against the effort to get there, while looking at all possible unintended side effects.

So, I do want my son cleaning his spilled food off the floor, or do I want him practicing his language arts skills? Both are stressful for him, and there is only so much stress he can endure before he breaks. Not to mention, the limited number of hours in a day. So, I pick trying to get language arts up to snuff. Once he is rich off of his inventions he can hire a maid. Yeah, I really do think like that.

I readily admit I'm a little looser than I probably need to be. But there hasn't been much downside to it. As I noted in another thread, kids have an instinct to mature. My son certainly does. A year or two behind average on most skills, but he gets there. Over the summer the kid who can't manage to use a fork without being reminded starting walking into the kitchen and asking if he could help chop things for dinner, and could learn my recipes. He now helps cook whenever his homework schedule allows it.

If your girlfriend's son has been acquiring the skills at home while thriving at school, and without increasing in meltdowns and stims, then he is probably ready for the skills you are pushing. If you see trouble coming out in other areas, ease it up. All kids are different; I can't sit here and tell you what that child can and cannot accomplish. I can only ask questions, throw out ideas, and then leave it for you to decide. Just make sure he thrives and is happy, whatever you do. Don't force him into burying himself; that can't last.

that's right, Kramer- let's belittle those who have trouble.....i mean, what has nurturing ever done for anyone ?

Nurturing at 2 is fine...not at 10.

My son does this with spaghetti pasta, ive started giving him pasta shapes instead, he was convinced he was choking and has a thing about things getting stuck in his throat.

I sincerely hope you misspoke here. Nurturing is important at ALL ages. Children don't lose their need for love, support, and affection just because they've achieved a certain birthday. What I hope we differ on is what that MEANS, not that it exists.

It would be babying or enabling immature behavior that I believe you object to, isn't it?

Yes, that's what I meant.

Yes I can believe it, it happens. My daughter is 6.5 and has dyspraxia but is not under the spectrum (though she has ADHD). She cannot tie her shoes and she easily spills things if carrying it, she can write with a large pencil but struggles writing with thinner pencils.. and it can't be helped. Funny enough my son who is under the spectrum does not have dyspraxia. But dyspraxia IS common for those who are under the spectrum. Has your son received OT? OT is supposed to help with that and my daughter is receiving that right now. Just a thought.

We've been experimenting with different styles of cutlery to see what helps minimise mess. Heidi is so fuss about food she wont even touch her fork / spoon / knife to certain things.

I've found that using a spoon works better than fork for some foods like rice (and I assume scrambled eggs, although Heidi wont touch those). Once we have conquered using a spoon to get food from plate to mouth without spillage then we can move onto a spork (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spork), then finally a fork.

Not all cutlery is created equal either, Heidi seems to prefer a heavier style of cutlery with a more substantial base to hold onto.

Which leads me to wonder how your stepson is cleaning up the spill. Cleaning up after yourself is a valuable skill to learn. Maybe if he had a special pair of gloves he could wear for cleaning up so his skin was not having to touch the eggs? That is if after all you have read in this thread you still feel that you need to continue with the cleaning up stuff. Maybe he could choose the gloves himself and they are just for his use?

He cleans them up barehanded after a few dramatics. That's my whole point....his antics are a trained response to get out of doing anything considered work. This response has been ingrained in him over his first 10 years of life. Yeah, some help has been necessary, but not to the extremes that he was previously receiving.

Almost all of the children I read about on here have these trained reactions. I'm fine with some social trained reactions because they're necessary and we even use some of those on a daily basis.....I'm not fine with the ones stemming from laziness, irresponsibility, and just general malaise. It's just not acceptable. And guess what? Almost all of the fake trained responses have been sniffed out, exposed, and corrected in a very short period of time. I encourage some of you to try the same. Your life will be much easier and your child will be better prepared to lead a normal life at home and at school. Hell, it's your responsibility to help them function as normal as possible.

Kramer1, one of the first things my son's therapists told me is that all behavior is communication. As much as strong-willed you think your girlfriend's child is, he still has feelings. I'm happy to hear that you have encountered some success in a short amount of time. It is the cost to this boy's self-esteem that I question. Please be open to the possibility that his actions are trying to communicate that he has sensory difficulties.