Who has an Aspie girl that can talk to me???

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Desperately seeking other parents of daughters with AS. What are her symptoms? What has helped? How was she diagnosed? Please post!! !!

Don't know if this is the sort of answer you want but I am a woman and have AS. I was diagnosed at seven and then again at nine when I was in the mental hospital. Hmm. My biological mother was low functning austistic and mentaly chalanged so before I was born everyone suspected there might be something "wrong" with me. When I was born my adoptive parents noticed how sensetive I was to everything and how I did not want to be touched or handled. If anyone dared to try, I would attack like a rabid animal. My brothers had scratch marks all over their faces as if a tiger had attacked them. I also did not cry but would scream so loud my mother swore I was going to make everyone deaf. My mother says I talked so fast that I couldn't be understood, at the time that was considered a speach delay. It was also as if I was in my own little world. When I got older I had intrests that were obsessions. I wasn't intrested in anything but my obsessions. I also did not know how to play with other kids. If I could not boss them around I would not play. I had no consept of boundaries. If someone accidently bumped me in line, I would violenly lash out at them but would invade their space. I had severe anxiety and would have panic attacks at the drop of a hat. I had unusual fears and had to do everything a certian way. I had to know what was going to happen and when. The best thing that was done for me was my parents taking me out of the public school system to homeschool me, getting me off all medications and letting me detox, and accepting me as who I was and not try to make me into something I was not. I was diagnosed back in 1994 when Asperger's paper was first translated into English by a phycatrist I saw. Knowledge about autism itself was in it's infancy so there wasn't much anyone could do to help me. Hope this helps...

I'm also a woman with AS. What has helped me is finding an interest in computers and video games, but it really depends on what your daughter likes. Aspies tend to find comfort in routine and hobbies, like how I might want to play the same video game over again cause it's routine. I think the main thing is to be flexible, and understanding. There are just some days where I know I can't handle going out, and if your daughter is like that perhaps the best thing is to stay home. Going out into the world for Aspies is constantly having to figure out social things, and a lot of other issues so it's stressful. I can't really explain it well myself, seeing as from what I've heard on Wrongplanet, I actually don't have as much trouble with being social as other Aspies do. Although I do perfer to not be social, and participate in more intellectually stimulating things like reading. I guess that could come off as arrogant to some people, which is one of the things people have said is that Aspies act arrogantly, but really it's more of a matter of having that comfort zone.

A great book you could read about Asperger's Syndrome, is Tony Attwood's Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome:

http://www.amazon.com/Complete-Guide-As ... 590&sr=1-1

Tony also wrote a book called Asperger's & Girls, which deal more specifically with issues women may have with Asperger's Syndrome. Since more boys tend to be born, or at least diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, it can be difficult to find resources for helping girls with Asperger's Syndrome. This book really does offer a lot of help from the perspective of women with Asperger's Syndrome:

http://www.amazon.com/Aspergers-Girls-T ... 590&sr=1-4

Thanks so much for responding. I am going to get those books. My DD LOVES to read, as do I, and could spend much of the day doing that. She loves to play on the computer and lately starting playing with dolls, go figure. We have had them since age 6 and now at 11 she is starting to play with them! She doesn't have any real obsessions but loves two TV shows (reality shows) that she follows and looks up who gets eliminated, etc.

Thanks again

I can share alot with you about my daughter but I have to go and do some more house work because she will be here this afternoon.

my daughter is currently dxed with ADHD, but is going for a re-eval for AS. Her brother and dad both have AS......
daughter's current obsessions are: littlest pet shop, webkinz, and the Sims. she lines things up, has difficulty socializing, doesn't have any friends, has some sensory issues, licks herself........there's so much to write. maybe if you had more specific questions, i could answer you better........

I would love to chat with you sometime. Please check back here when/if you have time. Still not sure my DD has AS but even if she isn't classified she has symptoms and yes I can finally admit she isn't your "normal" (whatever that means anyway) kid.

On the subject of dolls, for all the reasonable complaining over the Bratz looking a bit hyper-sexualized and wearing too much makeup, they did really create some rather decent computer and video games around them. I was thinking, I am kind of bummed the Bratz will be no more after being sued out of buisness by Mattel, cause the games were rather good. I also did enjoy the console games, where they created a makeover side quest sort of thing, where you could try on different makeup on the Bratz. Probably cause I never really was that good figuring out makeup for myself.

Ah well, it's not like it's the first time the mainstream has trumped over individuality and creativity.

daughter spends hours on Sims- creating new families...she can design their clothes, hairstyles, etc....she also really loves webkinz website- she takes care of all of her animals, gets to dress them, etc.

Another aspie woman.

I liked to line things up, take stuff apart...could sort things like buttons or beads for hours and hours....by shape, by size, by color, by design.

My mother used to re-arrange my bedroom furniture and I would cry and scream and refuse to go to bed until it was moved back. Hated having my hair combed or cut, tags in clothing, and anything that fit tight. Would eat the same thing every day if I could, I think I existed on Mac & cheese for years, wasn't a wide variety of foods I was willing to try or eat.

I would ask to have a friend over, and 1/2 hour later ask my parents when they were taking them home. I could play with someone else, but only basically the way "I" wanted, I wasn't open to anything else. At parties, or get-togethers I stayed with the adults, didn't care to mix much with the other kids.

I did read ALOT also, collected things...records, old jewelry...researched everything I collected until I was a walking book on it. Memorized TV commercials and certain books or passages.

Also hated being bumped or jostled, even by accident.

I love computers and video games, something that was just becoming available when I was a kid. Just "knowing" has helped me the most...then I could finally stop trying to change the things that I can't change and accept myself better and learn different ways of just "coping" with things and sensory issues. No one put the pieces together until I was in my mid 30's.

beenthere- sounds all too familiar to me. wish it wasn't the same here.

I'm sorry.. Why cry? Am I missing the sad part?

why cry ?
my hubby is an aspie. my oldest son is an aspie. we're slowly coming to the realization that daughter is probably aspie too. there are definitely worse things in the world than being aspie. just not looking forward to the struggles- tired of fighting with the school system. tired of dealing with aspie issues. guess it sounds selfish of me, but sometimes it's just really a whole lot to deal with.....to feel left out because you don't stim, you don't angst over the way things are sorted, you don't angst over changes in your routine.....to have to carefully plan everything so that the aspies in my life don't experience anxiety when they don't really have to........it's just a lot to deal with. alot to plan. having to change my entire existence to support my family has been overwhelming. i cannot be spontaneous. i cannot sing in my own home. i have to carefully word my sentences so that everyone understands what i'm saying. i have to drive the same route or deal with 3 aspies in the car asking why i didn't go the right way..........just too much to deal with today

ster, you're putting more work on yourself than needs to be done.

1) I am a firm believer that you should continue to change routes you go. I know the first few times it really gets to everyone. It grates on me when my husband goes down to the next light, taking an extra 2 minutes to get home because it's less fuel efficient. I have learned though to go different directions, it gives my kids a better sense of direction, reduces stress, and generally helps them learn to cope. No matter which direction I go, now they will ask "Daddy work?" "Issy Capie?" "Target?" depending on which we're going to.

2) It isn't for you to do things just to keep anxiety out of their life, but to help them learn to cope themselves. Catering to everyone's needs is not going to help them deal with life. Not to mention, you get blow ups like you just did to me because you're doing all the work and no one else is. Sing in your home. Be spontaneous. Do things the way you'd like them to be done. When people get anxious, let them know you're just doing things a different way. Help them cope.

3) Many of your struggles are not because you're NT. Everyone has to deal with them. Your problems of wording things are universal. Except you know the rules of how to construct your sentence, and you only have your 3 people to deal with. I have to watch how I word things every day, every where I go because I will inevitably come off rude to someone because logic is not universal when it comes to people's thoughts.

Sorry if I can't stand the pity party. But there is nothing here that you can't fix yourself, either in the way you approach the problem or because we are all dealing with it to varying degrees.

If you want to talk. You can PM me.

ImMelody- I suppose I gave the impression that I can never do what i wish. this is not true. I am simply tired of having to explain my actions all the time. yes, i do drive "the wrong way" sometimes.....I just get tired of having to deal with the repercussions of doing so. same goes with being spontaneous & singing......I am tired of having to justify what I do. It can be quite tiresome having to always explain yourself.............sorry if this comes off as a pity party. i did not ask for your pity.i was venting. thought maybe someone else felt the same sometimes.