Just after your thoughts please

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Hi there again

Just wanted to share some of the difficulties my DS is having. I guess I'd love an opinion about these issues from someone who is experienced on Autism and alike... I know I cant expect a diagnosis here, but I'm just interested in your thoughts to what he may have? Sorry for being so bold, but I'm just desparate for answers now
Thanks


Temperament/behaviour

Easily Frustrated and sensitive over minor issues/Extremely Fussy/Very impatient/Screams alot/Tantrums/Strong willed
Is affectionate/ Loves the company of other children particularly older kids/ able to show empathy/ extremely intuitive.

Language/communication/social

Speech delays ; First spoke 3 word sentences at age of 2.5 (Vocab about 10 words)
Has alot of trouble with answering why or what questions... Gets confused looks away/ will repeat the question back or say something unrelated to the q. Like “plane” or” 5” or just utter babble.
Repeats words, especially when trying to ask for something ie Bickie bickie bickie
Has trouble pronouncing words that contain the letters S L R Q
Learns new words but will lose some previously used.
Unable to hold small conversation
Seems to dribble out the sides of his mouth and wipes his mouth with his hands often or bites bottom lip.
Has difficulty expressing his needs and will often ask for material things using one word or use gesture
Will often pull at your arm and drag you to what he wants.
Lacks independence most of the time.
Has trouble concentrating
Confused when asked to do simple tasks e.g. when asked to get a pair of socks from his bedroom wardrobe
Can’t grasp why we don’t do certain things e.g. knock on every door in the neighbourhood to say hi
Uncooperative most of the time and will not listen or obey when told not to do something.
Likes to make noise for the sake of it ie just yell.
Regularly will not respond to his name
Seems deaf and in a world of his own often
Will tune everything out around him particularly when engrossed in playing with toy/tv
Often uses phrases in DVD’s Or will spill out a heap of words that don’t relate to each other or anything (only when tired)
At times avoids eye contact.
Likes repetitive play esp with cars and often lines them up during play
Over protective of certain toys.
Prefers toys that spin and can spend hours playing with them ie his ball drop toy...Spent 8 hours in a row.
Prefers to play on his own when visiting a friend
Prefers Mum or Dad to play with him at home

Routine/Does not like Change

Reaction to his change include; Strong refusal, Screaming, Shaking or hands up to his ears ,confusion and fear occasionally terror.
Must take the same path home from the shop etc in car or when going for a walk. If we go under a bridge on route we must go back over same bridge on way back.
Observes something being done, and expects it done that way every time thereafter.
Must have magnets on Thomas trains connected in a particular way round. If we move them to connect the opposite way he will change it back with a very confused look on his face
Dislikes it when a piece of furniture is moved in a different location in the house.
Likes to have the pattern on bedding especially his pillow the correct way up. (Wont lay on pillow if upside down)
Does not like dirty or sticky hands
Dislikes to try new shoes on his feet
Socks must be put on his feet before his pants go on... (not so fussy about this now)
Must drink and eat from familiar cup/plate
Must put things back where they came from or doesn’t like cans in pantry put on incorrect shelf. (door gard)
Obsessions/fascinations
Reactions include; fixation/ unaware of other things around him/repetition
Likes to watch Remote controlled Roller doors go up and down
Trains; Toys/Dvd’s/Rides (Has a train documentary that he likes to watch over and over)
Goes through fazes of watching a particular dvd, and doesn’t like to watch something different.
Gets fixated on things at times.
Likes to watch segments of DVD over and over and likes to watch same DVD’s rather than change them.
Requires alot of mind stimulation
At time likes to chew on collar of t shirt.

Sensitivities :
Reaction to his sensitivities include; Screaming, Shaking and hands up to his ears and confusion and fear sometimes terror.
Dislikes change in clothing to suit the season changes ie from wearing short sleeves/pants for summer to wearing long sleeve/pants for winter.
Does not like dressing down to suit weather conditions. Ie having clothing removed in the middle of a hot day or jacket put on in the middle of a cold day.
Thinks something is hot when it is warm or cold.
Will want blanket on when its hot
Cannot stand electrical items even when switched off. E.g. will not use a public toilet if he spots a hand dryer on the wall. Terrified of new appliances.
Cannot stand noise of sister crying or screaming.
Over reacts if he feels uncomfortable in clothing etc.. ie socks too tight, can feel seems or tags etc.
Does not like car radio/ particularly music playing
Cannot watch certain DVD’s without being scared eg; Bear, Hi 5 (mainly if there is singing involved)
New tastes especially mint toothpaste and peppermint flavours
Picky eater. Comments on sandwiches if they have been cut differently.
Sun shining through house windows & car windows
Strongly resits having hair washed. Over reacts to Getting water in eyes

Have you taken your list of concerns to your family doctor? I would print that out and bring it in and say "this is what we're dealing with, how can you help us?" It's a very detailed, well organized list of concerns. There are lots of things that stick out to me...speech and language issues, sensory issues, compulsive issues etc. But I really think your DS needs to be assessed so you can get some answers to your questions.

some of the issues sound familiar....some do not.. the only way you'll know for certain about his dx is to take him for an eval........IMO, he sounds more Autistic than Aspergers-but i'm no expert

He sounds so much like my son. Almost exactly, however mine will fall to the floor and not move instead of being aggressive when he's upset. Your son sounds like he has either High functioning Autism or has a language disorder that looks a lot like autism. Some language disorders have the same symptoms of autism, but isn't autism. My son is 7 now and has grown out of a lot of those behaviors, but he has done, or still does almost all of what you said. I would have him evaluated by a developmental pediatrition and a Language specialist to be sure.

Thank you for your replies

It has crossed my mind that it may well be a language disorder alone and he is taking his frustrations out in other forms ie obsessions etc.

Mummy Jones, I also find that my DS often throws himself on the floor when he is frustrated. High functioning autism has crossed my mind also. I guess we will find out the cause of his behaviour one way or other!

Thanks again for your replies!

I haven't read your first post so I don't know how old your child is, but it does sound like he has sensory issues. Many young children have them and outgrow them; spectrum children tend to have them stronger and longer, being less likely to outgrow them. My answer on that is honor them. Locate the sensory problems and do your best to mitigate them. These are very real issues; just because a noise isn't loud to us, for example, doesn't mean it isn't like a blaster directly into your child's ears.

It also sounds like he is trying very hard to control his world. NT and AS kids will do that when there are big changes in life, or other confusing things; their defense response is to control their world, to try to keep it predictable and uncomplicated, something they know and understand. AS kids, because the world is naturally confusing to them, stress more and, thus, grab onto the attempt to control even harder. Again, the best things to do is to honor it. Keep things the same as much as possible and provide plenty of warning before making a change, including detailed descriptions and countdowns, etc., as necessary. My son can accept change as long as he knows what to expect, so the key is satisfying that need for information.

Thank you DW.

Yes, DS (3.5 yo) is thrown out of whack for weeks after change...Some I know now to avoid, but some of which I can't aviod. My hubby is in the Air Force and goes away a bit. And he struggles with that. We have also had to make a move interstate (a year ago) which had a huge impact on him. DS is really struggling with not having his fav cousins about. It must be so hard for him to understand the reasons why we cant see them whenever we like and why the family that doted over him is suddenly not in his life. I'm doing my best to help him cope and understand it. I'm sure the psych will be of help when we finally get in to see her.

We did try to get him on a plane to see his cousins (before it clicked that we suspected something was wrong) but he absolutely freaked, so we didn't end up taking the flight...I'm so glad he freaked before we got on... I can only imagine how hard it would have been for him if he had of been scared mid flight...and have to put up with those fears for 2 hours. Surfice to say we will never be attempting any plane trips!

Just wondering (I'm still learning alot)... What does NT stand for

If this child is on the spectrum, a big clue would be in the speech delay. Aspergers do not have any kind of speech delay, in fact some are early chatterers. But in autism speech is very often delayed or even absent for many years.

There are many sensory issues that you describe. Sensory Integration Disorder may be something to google when you have a minute. Central Auditiory Processing Disorder is another. Many children on the spectrum ( I am not saying yours is! Although my guess is that he should be assessed ) have co existing conditions and no two are the same. Every child with ASC is different, once you have met one, you have met ONE. Each is unique in their own special way.

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<< Able to show empathy>>
Not sure what you mean there, could you elaborate a bit, how is he showing empathy?
Dragging you to different places when he wants something is also a clue. Does your son ever point his finger for anything? I would be interested to know.

Hi there Jelibean

Thanks for your info

Eg; of DS empathy... If I hurt myself and said "ouch" he would sometimes say "what happen"

Sometimes gestures where he will put his hands on your face or pat your head.... Maybe that is more affection?

I guess I'm saying that he does seem to notice emotions sometimes (although rare)

He doesnt really show too much affection with my DD... He screams and shakes when she cries or screams... But not always...depends on his mood.

He will drag me to the pantry and point to the top shelf for something and say "Dis Dis Dis" (this) well not exactly point but hand up thrusting it if that makes sense...hard to explain.

Hiya, thanks for getting back.

Everything you are describing certainly sounds very similar to autism with sensory difficulties and a Speech and Language disorder. Some sounds are very difficult for a child to say, fricatives for example. My son could not ever say foX, the X was very muffled, as was hooVer http://home.hib.no/al/engelsk/seksjon/S ... atives.htm

The other issue that concerns me is that Speech and Language Therapists often do little or no training in the Pragmatics of language. This is the inappropriateness and blurting out. Sadly we still do not have enough trained therapists to help. A huge amount of these children will touch anything they want to explore. Hair is tactile and so is skin.................they are curious about everything and the shape and feel of a face will be important.

The reason I asked about pointing is that it is very relevant. Many children will point or hand flap for a drink or a biscuit etc. But children on the spectrum very rarely point to SHOW YOU something that they want to share with you, eg............aeroplane in the sky...................Children on the spectrum when they do point, is often because THEY WANT something NOT to share a thought, experience or occassion. From what you describe he fits into the latter?

Crying and screaming to a child with sensory processing disorders could be likened to a swarm of bees buzzing in your head, or a dripping tap that is driving you nuts. If the noise hits a certain pitch or level, it will become intolerable for him and possibly even painful. If he is anxious or very aroused it could worsen the effect, this may be why you are seeing it sometimes.

My advice is to seek professional advice. A Clinical Pyschologist is a good starter! Ask for some assesements and try and get in touch with an Occupational Therapist and Speech Therapist. This should give you some indication.

Thank YOU!
Sorry, got to rush alot of posts due to ds! He wants 100% attention all day (preferably to play with his cars and trains)

Exactly! DS usually will only drag you to something that he wants. He kind of has this mannerism that everything revolves around him and nothing or no one else matters.

I do recall him running up to one of his toys (when a friend arrived) and jumping up and down near it to show them... saying "wook" "wook" and i think he may have been directing his hand/pointing? I dont recall too well as he doesnt do it often enough. Its really hard to know sometimes.

We have private appts with OT, psychologist, and ST in Feb... I'm lucky to get in that soon. I didnt want to wait for the public system... way too long.

Hiya

You sound as though you have a perfect handle on everything! Quite a little ego on him then!! Bless! These children are not aware that anyone else is real. Yes they know that they are breathing with a heart that beats BUT does everyone else have LIVES? Agenda's, thoughts and feelings of their own? Your son will almost expect you to know what he wants, he thinks you know what he is thinking! He presumes that you know what he wants at all times! Why? Because he is the only little person that matters, he is the only real person in his world. I know that may sound strange, apologies if it does!

Every child is different, those on the specrum are no different. You never get one the same as the other! We are all unique in our wonderful way!
Bedtime here in the UK, SO night night and stay safe everyone

YES!! Everything you say makes perfect sense! I can relate

Thanks for everything, I am learning so much... You've been very helpful.

Hope to chat again soon.

Goodnight