More toddler sleep help needed

Post Reply New Topic

Olivia is put down to bed every night at 8 PM sharp. Her nap time is 12 PM every day give or take 15 minutes. She usually sleeps until about 2 give or take a half an hour. I will not wake her. I refuse.

Lately she's been staying up on her own after we put her down for bed up to 2 hours.

Is there anything I/we can do to see that she goes to sleep at or around 8 PM instead of staying awake until 10 PM?

Well it will help wear her out so she gets sleepy faster if you get her to play hard. I mean like doing a lot of pedaling on the Big Wheels or whatever kids ride on these days. Playing chase with her or some other active game/sport/exercise to cause her to expend a lot of energy.

Perhaps you shouldn't let her nap as long during the day and it will also make her more tired at night. Watching to make sure she doesn't get anything that contains caffiene after 2pm will also help.

as they get older, they nap less and less...........you could try slowly shortening her afternoon nap. you could try changing her bedtime. you could try wearing her out more.....

Help her to wake herself from napping after a set amount of time:
* Open the curtains
* Turn on a lamp
* Turn up the volume on her favorite tv show, or on the radio
* Sing aloud
Start relaxing activities 1 hr before bed:
* Dim the lights
* Cup of warm milk
* Turn off the tv, turn on soft relaxing music
* Warm bath with lavendar soap/shampoo
* Stories in a rocking chair (try Dr. Suess Sleep Book)
Put her to bed with:
* Heavy or weighted blanket
* Relaxation music or books on tape played really low
* White noise
* Wash her bedding with lavendar-scented detergent/fabric softener
* Lavendar-stuffed sachet or animal she can hug (releasing the scent)
* If all else fails, 1/2 mg - 3 mg Melatonin

you want me to dose my 18 m.o. daughter?

Sorry. I don't know the recomended age for Melatonin, but I do know other parents of toddlers who have been advised by drs to use it. We were. (She is awful young, though.) But it's a last resort. It doesn't sound like she's having trouble sleeping, just getting to sleep, so no, it is probably unneccessary if you make other changes.

I'm sorry to say that both of my sons stopped taking naps much younger than is usually recommended. They just didn't seem to need as much sleep as other kids their age.
I would shorten her daytime nap in order to get her sleeping earlier at night.
What time does she wake up in the morning?

AS children often have sleep issues. Do you think she has insomnia or just isn't tired? That will determine what your best options are.

Do note, also, that toddler sleep needs change based on developemental stages. While going through a growth spurt, they will sleep more. Once out of it, their sleep needs will drop suddenly. You may find you can't marry yourself to a rigid set of sleep hours for her, as too much gets involved and can change it.

Is it actually a problem, and to whom?

I was like that. Even at 18 months, there was no way I'd sleep before ten, nap or no nap. It wouldn't have mattered except it infuriated my father.

I was amused recently to read a study where people, when denied artificial lights, all began to sleep according to the pattern of my 'insomnia' -- lie quietly awake for two hours, sleep for about four, wake and lie there quietly for another hour or so, sleep again.

I take it you're not a parent.

Listening to your child scream and cry is torture when all I want to do is go in and comfort her until she goes to sleep but I know that's too big a distraction and she needs to learn to go to sleep on her own and self-soothe.

Ah, I see the problem. FORGET ABOUT THE SELF-SOOTHING NONSENSE. She WILL learn that skill, in her own time and her own way, and I would suggest that she is the type of child on which it can NOT be forced.

My son has always taken a long time to fall asleep, and because of that he resisted every attempt we made to teach him to "self sooth." So, I stopped trying to do that, and I am so glad I did. The whole process was just trauma for him, he NEEDED help with this, with falling asleep, and learning techniques. I can't remember the age by which he really did finally find his own way, but he did it, and your child will too.

Some children are different. Those books advocating self-soothing assume a child who can acquire this skill in the space of a night or two. Seriously, I know many families for which this worked, and it was a very short process that ended with them feeling very confidently that their child was ready to do it. If you haven't reached that breath of relief by now, you are NOT GOING TO, and need to change course.

I believe this so strongly. I may not have all the facts on what you are doing and why, but PLEASE re-think.

Go in and comfort her. Tell her guided imagery style stories in the dark (my son LOVED those, and shoot I basically wrote an entire book series with the stories I invented for him over time). Give her what she NEEDS.

No, I am not a parent.

You had not previously said she was screaming and crying, only that she was awake. If she's screaming and crying it's actually a problem, and a problem to her.

DW_a_mom is right, as per the usual. I doubt that ignoring her screaming and crying will teach her to 'self soothe.' It will teach her that you cannot be relied upon to respect her needs unless you happen to think they're valid needs, and that her opinion about her needs doesn't get consideration. I learned that lesson and wish I hadn't, since it also gave me the opinion that human beings are stupid and cruel.