Need Advise: Here is my story

Post Reply New Topic

I believe that my 10 year old son has Asperger's Syndrome. At first I believed it was selective mutism but I am starting to think that is a form of high functioning Austism that has not been diagnosed. He is currently in the 5th grade and is doing very well academically and was getting worse socially this school year. He seemed to have completely shut down at school. He does not talk to the other children unless when spoken to first in which he turns to them raised his hand a bit and spurts out a short quick low hi. The kids seem to like him and know his ways and are use to him. They are always trying to speak up for him and don't really give him a chance. The only time he talks is when answering a question asked by the teacher. He has gotten much better with class participation as the year progressed. The teachers said that he seems to look at the ceiling a lot and fiddles with his pants or scratches his face or sweater like he is uncomfortable. I notice that he walks very strange when at school. Almost like a very stiff old man. He constantly walks on his toes at school but not at home. In face none of the things I mentioned does he do at home. At home is a normal playful 10 year old boy. That is why I thought it may be selective mutism.

Other things that make me think that it is AS is since he was a small child he has been very sensitive to bright lights ad loud sounds. He could not tolerate the movies when he is young. Now he is getting a bit better at his noise and light sensitivity. The Dr's never said anything to that when I use to bring it up when he was young so I left it alone. He started to read at the age of 1 1/2. He was reading very well at 2 1/2. He was reading Harry Potter at 5. HE was also a little math genius from the time he was 2. He would spend his toddler years fascinated in learning words and calculating math problems. St the time I just though he was a cute little genius but looking back those things really stood out to me know. He is a very bright straight A student. He has skipped 1st grade so he is a year ahead. In his current grade they have him doing the work that is still one year ahead. SO he is doing the 6th grade curriculum this year while he is in the 5th grade at his public school. He is also a very gifted pianist, cello player and artist. He has won many art awards and performed in various concerts at school He is fine doing that and does not seem shy when doing so because it does not involve talking. He is also a very gifted writer for his age. He also excels in sports such as soccer where has played on a travel league for the past year and tennis which he has one statewide trophy's. One would think he is just a well rounded child but he has very particular ways interacting with people. I guess it is those things that help him express himself because of his lack of interaction in those settings. The teachers and principal don't really bother me about him because he is a great student that is bringing up their schools test scores. After this year I knew that public school was not for him and thought that he would be more comfortable in a private school setting. We did the whole process of applying for the most competitive privates in out area.

We looked at three very traditional schools and one progressive school that is very artsy fartsy and on the cutting edge of education to the particular child. Their approach is to teach child in the way that it best for that particular child. I really thought that the progressive school would be best for him because of their philosophy of letting the child direct the curriculum. Out of all the schools he shadowed he liked that one the least. He had to take the ISEE's interview, and shadow a student for each of these schools. His ISEE scores were outstanding. He scored 99% in very area. He said he felt his interviews went well and that was biggest hear because of his lack of comfort in social situations such as looking people in the eye. I told him before his interviews that he had to do that as well as shake their hand and answers questions with more than one word answers. The admissions process was complete by the end of January. Last weekend we received the admissions decisions for these schools which now lead me here.

He was accepted into all of the very competitive private prep schools with very high regards. The only school that did not send us the acceptance letter was the progressive school. Instead they gave me a call to speak with me about him and their observations of him. They asked me if he has been diagnosed with a sensory processing disorder, Autism, or Asperbergers Syndrome. I was shocked at the time and quickly responded no because I had never even heard of some of these terms expect for Autism. They told me all of their observations and said that that is why they were not able to make a decision yet because they though that he may have been diagnosed with something and they needed to know why he was they way he was before the could assess him properly. I guess they thought I was in denial after saying no. All of the things they observed I do notice about him myself so I started to research all of those terms. I have come to the conclusion that he possible does have Asperger's Syndrome.

What do I do know at this point? Do I take him to get a test? Where do I go? Does he need treatment? He really wants to to to school x. He feels that it is a great school that will allow him to be pursue his interest in the arts, academics as well as his sports interests. It is a top school nationwide. If he is diagnosed with Austim or AS do I have to inform the school that he chooses to attend? Will this effect their view and interest in him? Advise please? thanks.

Based on what you've written, it doesn't sound terribly likely that your son has Asperger's. Of course, it is possible, but simply because he tends to have difficulty with having conversations with people in school and might have some sensory issues (most of which seem to have been resolved), would not be enough to render a diagnosis (not that anyone here could diagnose him anyway).

Remember, your son is very young for his class, so some immature social behavior is to be expected. Also, from what you're describing, he's extremely bright. Many gifted children exhibit some characteristics that are similar to those of individuals with Asperger's - it doesn't mean they have Asperger's.

Additionally, you've pointed out your son's success in sports. Few individuals with Asperger's excel in sports. You certainly might want to have your son evaluated, but I wouldn't qualify it with "for Asperger's." If your son's selective mutism (if that's what it is) interferes with his ability to interact at school or to make friends, there could be cause for concern. If he walks oddly at school, I would try to figure out whether he is wearing different clothing, and if so, whether he is uncomfortable in those clothes. If the clothing is not the source, perhaps there is something else that he can tell you about - just be sure to ask him gently: don't say "you walk oddly;" perhaps say "you walk differently." There could be a very simple explanation. Often, kids will tell us the reasons for things, and they are things we might never have thought of.

If you have your son evaluated, and the evaluation shows anything that would be important for the school to know about, you should probably share the information. If there is some way for you to find out how the school views that kind of information before you share it, that would be helpful for you. If your son truly needs some kind of support (gifted students often do), it could become a problem if the school refuses to provide, or to work with an outside provider.

As for 'informing them' I went to school with out knowing I was/am AS, so unless you think the ADA is going to be helpful for 'accommodations' I don't think it is against the law.


Merle

Greetings, and welcome to Wrong Planet.

To answer your question fully would require me to impart a vast amount of information to you which would not be practical within the confines of an online message board, however I can give you a quick over-view of what is likely going on with your son, and how it relates to autism.

1. Autism is basically a fancy way of saying that parts of your brain does not behave in a typical fashion, usually resulting in problems with functioning. This can be caused by many different things. Genetics play an important role, as seen in many studies showing a strong correlation between identical twins, and autistic traits running in families. Certain chemicals, such as valproic acid, given during early gestation have also been shown to cause this irregular brain formation. There is even some speculation that brain damage after birth can cause similar problems.

This unusual wiring results in problems with effective communication, forming relationships, speaking properly, and physical coordination. In some cases it can also result in difficulty making decisions, and forming plans (often called executive function).

For example: I didnt start talking until I was 2 and a half. I am 22 yet haven't gone on a date yet (by choice). I have problems finding words when talking, and often have short breaks in my speech while I try to find the right words to use in the right order. And I really do suck at sports. I can run, throw a ball, and catch a ball, but only one at a time. Attempting to run while throwing will swing me off balance and I will trip over myself. This story is fairly common amongst autistic people.

2. As a result of these problems, the brain will attempt to re-wire itself, and transfer functions to other areas of the brain. For example, you may have heard that when people go blind they develop better hearing, and more sensitive touch. That is why blind people can read brail, while I cannot. Likewise an autistic brain will cause the nerve cells in Pre-frontal cortex to become over-active and hyper-connected. The pre-frontal cortex is the part of the brain that controls rational thinking and sensory processing. This effectively boosts a person's ability to think logically, remember more, and recognize patterns better. It also boosts an autistic person's senses making them more sensitive. As such, an autistic person will be able to use this more effective processing to make up in areas where he is lacking.

For example, an autistic person doesnt have any natural skills in facial recognition because that part of the brain (the fusiform) doesnt work. However, he does have above average eyesight, and a good eye for recognizing detail. So they might be able to identify somebody by noticing a few small scars. Also a person with autism has better hearing, so he can determine who is speaking by listening to their voice. Likewise an autistic person might not have any natural social skills, but he has a good memory and is pretty good at finding patterns. Thus he can determine the patterns behind social skills. I.E. when he says X, the typical response would be Y with associated gesture Z. Its important to point out that the autistic person doesnt have any natural ability to make small talk, but can fake it fairly effectively but just following previously recognized patterns of responses.

This also boosts your ability to think rationally and systematically. Which is why most people with autism get jobs in areas like engineering (my profession), programming, mathematics, etc. Many famous scientist were autistic, such as Albert Einstein, Isaac Newton, Nicholas Tesla, Thomas Edison, etc. Now it is impossible to say that it is their autism which made them great scientist, but it was likely a helping factor in their success. A classic example of this increased ability to remember information can be seen in the movie rain man, however that is at the FAR extreme end, most autistic people dont have memories that good.

However, you may be wondering, if this re-wiring of the brain and hyper connectivity in the pre-frontal cortex makes you smarter, and gives you better senses, why dont all brains develop this way? The problem is that brains which are hyper connected have sensory problems. What just seems like a click to you might be a loud bang to your son. Likewise, a bright light to you might be blindingly painful to your son. Also, doing things like looking people in the eye dont seem to be a problem for you, but they can be very intense for your son because his amygdala is also hyper connected, resulting in a very overwhelming sensation when he makes eye contact. In short, his brain has a short circuit when he makes eye contact, which is a rather unpleasant experience. And this doesnt even begin to mention overly sensitive touch or smell/taste.

Constantly being bombarded with enormous amounts of information from your over-acute senses can cause what is commonly referred to by autistic people as information overload. Basically there is just too much information coming in to process everything in real time. While autistic people may be able to keep up with this information for a short time, it requires them to concentrate and think very hard. It is very very tiring and quickly leaves you mentally exhausted. Think about the last time you had a very difficult test, say for example when you took your college math final, or something like that. That is what it is like for an autistic person to have a normal conversation. This results in many autistic people clamming up whenever there is a large group of people who they arent comfortable with. They just go silent and stare off trying to avoid getting too much into the conversation because doing so would be over-whelming.

For more complete information, you may want to read:

http://frontiersin.org/neuroscience/pap ... 07/html#h1

Keep in mind that this article mostly discusses the problems, and glosses over the positive aspects.

For information about over acute senses you can read:

http://www.autismresearchcentre.com/doc ... _eagle.pdf

I tried to find one about enhanced auditory processing but couldnt find any good links. But I (and every other autistic person on this website) can assure you that our hearing is far more sensitive then normal.

So how does this relate to your son?

Well, judging by what you have posted, he doesnt seem to have any problems with coordination, speech, or relationships. Therefore he doesnt seem to have the core 'problems' associated with autism. But he does seem to have an overdeveloped pre-frontal cortex. This results in his above average memory, and abilities in school. It also explains his difficulties with sounds, sights, and difficulty interacting with others. How exactly your son got the effect (over developed pre-frontal cortex) without the cause (brian damage) is beyond me. Perhaps its just a natural variation in genetics? Perhaps your son did suffer some very minor brain damage, but not enough to cause any big problems. I dont know your son well enough to know what problems he struggles with.

Now then as for the label of all this: You have a couple options, High Functioning autism (requires a speech delay), asperger's syndrome, sensory processing disorder, Semantic Pragmatic Disorder (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Semantic_P ... c_Disorder), or just plain weird. In the end, as everybody will tell you, no label can completely describe your son, so dont worry about trying to fit him into a convenient box. Just use whatever helps you the most. If you find it best to avoid labels because of all the hassle they bring then dont get him labeled. If you find that the school will provide you extra services, and perhaps help your son if you have a label, then you can weigh the benefits vs. the downsides of the label. For example, your son might work better if he can wear sun glasses during class to help block out the light. This tends to bother some teachers (I have no idea why, but it does). Having a label may let you get away with more. Having a label might also be useful in diffusing some situations. For example, when I was younger I avoided making eye contact which greatly annoyed one of my teachers. She had it out for me because she thought I was being rude and disrespectful by not looking at her. If I had a label back then, it might have helped avoid that issue.

I can tell you that you dont need any label for things to work out fine. Back when I was young, if you weren't ret*d, you weren't autistic. It wasn't until 1994 when I was 8 that the medical industry officially recognized asperger's syndrome (aka high functioning autism). And it really didnt get wide spread knowledge until the past 5-6 years. I knew I wasn't normal since kindergarten, but I didnt find out it was autism until a year ago. Most adults on this board will tell you the same story. But if I managed to make it to adulthood with a good career without any special services, then your son (who seems better off then me) shouldn't need special services to make it to a productive adulthood either.

Overall, do some reading about the condition. I personally recommend Tony Attwood's "the complete guide to asperger syndrome". Your local library should have a copy. It does a very good job of explaining things thoroughly without making everything seem too good, or too bad. Keep in mind that your son is a unique person, so not everything in the book will apply to him. If the stuff in the book sounds familiar then use it to help you and your son. If not, then all you have lost is a few hours reading something interesting.

I think it's good to keep the AS in the back of your mind and consider further pursuing it if it ever seems necessary, but I'm not hearing a need for a diagnosis in your post. The progressive school is not the one he wants to attend, is that correct? And you haven't noticed any co-morbid learning disabilities like handwriting isues, correct?

From what I know about private schools, many get very hesitant about having a special needs child, so having a diagnosis could actually hinder things with them. If your son doesn't need any services or accomodations, why take that risk?

A diangosis is only as good as what it gets for you, in my opinion. If you have a happy child who is thriving, then the "what it can get for you" is probably limited. That doesn't mean you shouldn't continue on with private reading and research if obtaining additional understanding may help you help your child more, for doing so is always positive.

I honestly can't say if he may be AS or not. I can only ask: what would you hope to gain from finding out?

Thanks for the responding. I guess I really don't really need a label. I will say he is very different and unique. He is an outside of the box kind of kid and public school is just not working for him now. My SIL in a Dr. and John's Hopkins and she has always hinted that there is something different about him. WHen I mentioned what the progressive school reported she said she said noticed those things to and she thinks that he has some form of Autism and I need to get him evaluated for it. She said that she feels that his behavior is not normal and needs to be checked out. My husband just thinks that he is a quirky kid and he will just grow out of it.

it's possible to have asperger's and selective mutism, keep in mind.