Thank you for all the replies

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My son has been speaking very well since he was barely 2. He is very bright and makes the cleverest connections and comments. We get along quite well as a family unit and he gets along well with cousins and grandparents (people he's familiar with). The problem is when we go out or when he is at his preschool, (which is one day a week at my church). My oldest son will be ready for Kindergarten this fall and I have been debating whether or not I will home school. I'm not too impressed with the public school system, although it could be beneficial to look into their early education programs I suppose. I just feel that if he is indeed Aspergers, he would probably do better in the home environment. Today, we went to Chuck E. CHeese and he did not crack a smile the entire time. He was so busy trying to keep tabs on his older brother and wanting him to do everything with him or he didn't want to do it. When we are at places that are crowded he tends to get very grumpy and will talk meanly to me. Answering abruptly "NO," when I ask him a question. I have to remind him to speak in a nice voice. I don't take it personally, but I can tell that he is over-stimulated. I just want him to be able to grow up and live a half way normal life. I have high expectations for both of my sons, so the thought that he may struggle some really bothers me.

I wish we could keep our kids from having struggles, but we can't. And, with AS, there are gifts that balance off all those struggles. My son wouldn't want to change who he is, despite the rough parts, and I wouldn't want to change him, either. Somehow it becomes part of life, part of what makes each person who they are.

My son doesn't care for places like Chuck E Cheese at all, and we've done pretty well avoiding them. In the end, I haven't missed too many of the things we've given up because they didn't work so well for him. Except the soccer - I really liked going to his soccer games, and he loved playing, but he's gone as far as his abilities will let him. But, now we've got Boy Scouts instead, and I'm on the parent committee, so even though I don't camp I'm not totally without warm and fuzzy involvement there. And he goes on long camp outs and adventure outings and he is so proud of his skills and he totally loves being out in nature. He's really at peace with himself. If only the Boy Scout organization could stop putting it's foot in it's mouth and getting people mad it'd be great (he, fortunately, neither sees nor hears any of that).

Homeschooling is a very good option for many AS kids since it limits the sensory issues. But it is a huge commitment, and if your son is AS he will miss out on the services that schools are obligated to provide. My son currently receives speech (pragmatic speech issues and social skills training) and occupational therapy through the school system. There are a lot of variables, of course, and some schools are much more appropriate for AS kids than others ... some are downright horrendous ... so it's hard to know how all that balances for each unique family.

I wish you the best of luck. If your son is AS, you will fall in love with the gifts. Be sure to let them develop and shine - they will be his joy and his ticket to a bright future.

To be honest I don't really care for Chuck E. Cheese either. I would rather stay away from that place as well. I appreciate you replying to my message. I know everything will be okay and i do love the many special traits my son has.

Chuck E Cheese is ******NOT******* the place for a child with AS. Most would be REALLY annoyed! So you are likely FORCING him to be upset.

Chuck E Cheese is very stimulating. I myself can't go there without being overstimulated and I'm NT, however my HFA son loves it. (mainly because it has a NASCAR driving game and that's his obsesson, so I go Sunday morning when nobody is there) I also taught a 2 year old, one day a week preschool and one day a week is not enough for them to adjust. They are too young. By the time they go again it's been a whole week. It's like the first day every time.

Some kids, typical or not, can't handle certain things. I would try observing him in a more neutral environment before worrying. They may be just 2 things his personality doesn't jive with.

Hi Danimom.

I had really high expectations for my sons as well. I expected early reading, early music lessons leading to early musical proficiency, gifted programs etc. They were/are so clearly bright that I took it for granted that they would excel at whatever they tried. This was not the case. Given sensory difficulties music would have been excruciating, and the difficulties with focus and fine motor skills means that academic work must move more slowly, despite how highly intelligent they are. I had to change my expectations and truly embrace who they are, and of course, who they are is wonderful.

I am not sure at this point how "normal" life will be for my boys when they grow up. It isn't really normal now. They need extra help, and often stick out like sore thumbs amongst their peers, and the first time I really allowed myself to notice those differences my heart broke for them. I didn't want it to be so hard, and it is. They struggle every day.

Both homeschooling and traditional schooling have their advantages. My boys attend public school right now (twins, both AS in grade 3), but if and when that no longer works well for them, we would switch to homeschooling. I feel that the intense social learning that is taking place for them at school right now will be just as valuable for them in the long run as the enhanced academic learning that I know I could give them at home, but as the years go by that balance may change.

Either path will probably come with some adjustments in your expectations and definitions of normalcy, which is all part of the fun along the way.

My son has HFA and believe it or not, he loves Chuck E. Cheese. You just never know what they'll like - and this isn't only the case with kids on the spectrum. Some kids love places like that, and others don't, just like anything else.

I know exactly what you mean about having high expectations. I think most of us do with our children - I certainly did. I read early, so I assumed my kids would all be avid, early readers. Ha. My oldest likes to read, but not with the voracity I did - and she did read early, but she's way more interested in dance than anything else. My son will read, but reading presents it's challenges for him, so although he read the words early, he doesn't always understand, and the only thing he's interested in reading are comic books. My youngest is only 10 months, so we're still waiting to see how that goes. I don't think I've really lowered my expectations of them, but I've definitely learned that each one of them will find their own strengths and weaknesses, and I'm just here to guide them on their course.

I have every hope in the world that my son will lead a normal life. It probably won't be anything like what I would have guessed for him - but it'll be HIS normal, and that's OK. I'm far more concerned about his happiness than anything else, but I keep reminding myself that having High Functioning Autism is so incredibly minor compared to many things that other people deal with and thrive with every single day, we are so very lucky. Of course, some days I do feel far luckier than others!