how on earth do you explain nightmares to 8yr AS?

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My 8yr old son has recenly been getting out of bed saying that he can't sleep, and that he doesn't want to have bad dreams.
I was kind of stunned at first as it's such a 'normal' problem to have, but after the first few nights, I'm at a loss for ideas.
How do you explain night mares to an 8yr old AS child in a way that will actually make sense?

So far I've told him that dreams/nightmares are our body's way of processing things that have happened that day. I've also suggested that if he is angry/tense and upset (which he currently is alot), that he is more likely to have bad dreams- he's better to try and think of nice things as he goes to sleep.

I've always made sure he has a good bedtime routine- teeth, read for awhile then bed.
He isn't currently on any medication, apart from fish oil and a multi vitamin.

Any suggestions please?!

It sounds to me like you're doing everything right. It may just take some time for your child to adjust to the fact that nightmares are sometimes normal. You might share some of your own nightmares, from childhood or as an adult. That might help normalize it for him.

My guess is that he's thinking of them too much and is therefore dreaming about them a lot more. Sorry, I wish there was more I could say!

For an 8 year old the "processing things that have happened that day" explanation may be a little abstruse. Rephrasing it as "your brain is making movies, it feels real but it isn't" or some such may be easier to grasp. Saying it comes from "bad feelings" may make the kid feel that it is his fault, maybe replace that with "thinking about something really good at bedtime to have better dreams". (I have no doubt you will know what is the best really good thing!) Also it depends on what kind of bad dreams, what they are about. If they are clearly referring to something in daily life that is stressful, maybe talking or doing something about those things may help. A night-light may help, or pleasant music played low. My son has always slept better with a fan on, even now that he is grown.

Some discussions about what is real and not real, especially discussing how real-looking things in movies are actually done, might help, too. I think all kids have trouble with that when they are younger. Knowing that what they see in a movie is not what really happens, and how they make it look that way, may help with understanding that what happens in a dream is not real, either.

I told my 7 year old that dreams are pictures in your head when you're sleeping. He says he has bad dreams too, and I told him to think of happy things before he goes to bed, and he says that doesn't work. I put a nightlight in his room and told him that if he has a bad dream to come and get me, and I will lay with him until he goes to sleep. I can't do anything to stop them, all I can do is comfort him when he has them and that's what I do. He comes to me occasionally, but not that often. Just make sure it doesn't become an excuse to sleep with you

It doesn't generally relate to the day. I think he knows what nightmares are. NOBODY really knows WHY it is as it is. Some say it it some hint of the future, others say it is consolidation of memories, etc....

As for the firsh oil and vitamins, that is FINE, but some suggest doing that earlier, and not eating after 8PM. There IS some logic to that. Anyway, MOST kids have to go through that.

My son was waking allot too there recently. I have given him Dr. Bach flower remedies. There is one called 'Rescue Remedy SLEEP'. It is the normal rescue remedy with white chestnut in it, to help stop your mind racing, and having too many thoughts at bed time.

I just spray it into a small drink just before bed (cause tase it not great!!). It has worked a treat, doesnt wake at all now. I have tried it also, I do think it somehow helps you to relax.

It is suitable for everyone as it is just flower essence. You can get it from a health food shop. Worth a try anyhow!!

Maybe increase the amount of physical exercise during the day, and a warm bath at night, really helps to have a good sound sleep. Also might help with the anxiety if thats whats causing it.

Teach him how to lucid dream.
I learned how at a very young age by serendipity.

It takes a while to learn, but with practice...You can both try it together.












edit: spelling.

Sorry to be a total dunce, but is that where you try to control your dreams? I remember trying to do that as a child. I think it worked some of the time.

i could not explain their nightmares. they are the ones that had the nightmares, so they should explain them to me. if they did, i would listen to their description and ask them to detail things about their nightmares.

i have a niece who is 6 years younger than me, and when she was 11, she had terrible nightmares. she was also close to me and saw me as a big robotic brother (kind of).

i also had a few nightmares when i was about 6 or 7, and i eventually found them rather funny, so i discussed my nieces nightmares with her to find if there was anything amusing in them to entertain me.

my nightmares were of ultimately evil beings behind me and chasing me. i dared not look back or be killed by the ugliness of the sight. i tried to flee, but i was so tired, that i was crawling along the ground in a manner where i felt sleepy and weak.
i felt like i could not allocate electricity to my muscles to move strenuously to help me flee.
i knew i was being chased by an unimaginably evil force, and when it caught up with me i would be consumed in it, but i was too weak and tired to get away. i crawled lethargically over the carpet in a numbed (and comfortable) paralysis while also freaking out in another part of my brain.

after a few of these dreams, i realized the evil force could easily have got me if it wanted to due to my inability to get away.
but it never did, so i wondered whether it was just trying to scare me, and went softer on me when i was less able to move. i started to feel that the evil force was not interested in really harming me, but only trying to scare me.

later i dreamed of ghosts, and they tried to scare me, but i always took a friendly approach to them and asked them why they wanted to scare me, and they always took time out to explain why.

eventually i realized that they were just trying to influence the world in the only way they still can.

when i asked my niece to explain her nightmares, we discovered that her monster had many chances in her dreams to catch and kill her if he wanted to. but he never did. then we wondered if that monster in her dreams would try to save her if she was really in trouble, so he could still have her to spook.
she became more friendly to her idea of the demon in her nightmare, and dreamed simple nightmares that turned into good dreams for a few weeks.
she was very happy at realizing that she can make friends with demons, because the demons are only doing what they know how. they are not evil, but just trying to show they exist.

i do not know what i would say to other kids with bad dreams, but i certainly would ask them to describe clearly every event in their dream, and help them explore how the "mosnter" was either stupid (or merciful) not to have seen many chances to get him.

if the monster is seen as stupid, then he becomes like a clown.

if he is seen as merciful, then he is seen as a protector.

monsters are always too silly to capitalize on advantages they have over you in dreams.

That is a really great way of looking at it.
The only problem is that getting ds to descibe anything, let alone bad dreams is like snow in a desert. ie: near impossible. I will try that next time though if I can get him to tell me about it.