Not knowing why

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I hate it when a parent doesn't give a reason for why a child has to do something or isn't allowed to do something, and punishes the kid if he doesn't do what he has to do or does what he isn't allowed to do.

Have to agree with that.

Sometimes the only answer I can give my kids is, "because society expects you to act a certain way on this and your life will go a lot easier if you learn to do so." But it is really frustrating if THAT is the best answer I can give. We'd like to think there were better reasons for things, wouldn't we?

Yeah, I know. But it's their choice whether they decide to conform to society, right?


But I hate parents who want their kids to not be able to think for themselves because it's easier for the parents for a while. Those selfish parents make me sick.

I totally agree!! Parents tend to 'cotton wool' their kids and don't give them the opportunity to try different things. Kids are people and individuals, they have a right to think for themselves and make decisions for themselves. They need a certain amount of freedom.
Some people are horrified when I tell them I let Damo play with mud or play out in the rain (with a raincoat on).
As for how he is to act when out, society can just accept him the way he is or keep their opinions to themselves! All I really ask of him is that he uses his manners and respects himself and others.

I basicly try to let my son know that there are consequences for behavior, good and bad. If you do this, this will happen. He needs to learn the ways of the world, but it's his choice to do what is expected of society or choose the consquences. This goes for me too. Do what you want, but if you choose this behavior, this is what what will happen. I sometimes have to support him through the consequences if they are negative ones, but that's how we learn. That gives him freedom to be the way he wants to be, and gives him the control he needs, but still outlines what consequences are if he chooses to act in ways that are not expected. Hopefully that's the right approach. I do have to come down on him if I think he will hurt himself or others. I think that goes without saying...

but if he wants to play in the rain...go for it! I used to do that all the time. It was one of my favorite things to do.