Times when you could just SCREAM??! ! (look out-vent ahead!)

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I know you have them.. we sure do!

12YO SS brings home homework (a rare occurrance, since we're fairly sure he's not being challenged AT ALL at school.. teachers just letting him kind of dink around most of the time) . A graphic planner and 15 history questions. 6 HOURS at the table, "working" on it. Is it done? NOOOOOOOO!

1 hour on the timer to eat supper.. does he get it done in this amount of time??? RARELY!! !

Every.single.freaking.morning. he has to be told to comb his hair and put a belt on. EVERY one.

ARRRRGH!

it is very frustrating some days.....live for the good days

The slow processing speed can be a killer. But remember that it is frustrating for the kids, too. They KNOW they drive everyone around them up the wall, but feel powerless to fix it. I saw a thread on the adolescent forum the other day about it ... they really dislike this aspect of themselves.

Drives me nuts, still. I've tried to make the reminders into habits; things I don't thnk about. If I don't think about it, I don't get frustrated saying it. If I don't get frustrated, he doesn't, and so on. So, I see my son come out of the restroom. Automatically I say to him, "wash." After dinner I go with him into his room and we sit down to so his homework. He stays on task better if I'm doing it WITH him. Makes a 4 hour process get completed in 1 hour. He does some of the work in the afternoon without me, as well - he needs to transition to independence - but the hour together seals it all up.

I can't think of all the little reminders I've built into the day ... they really are habits of mine now, to just calmly state them. I'm so much less stressed about it all now that I've accepted the need to do certain things and built them into a habit.

Oh, and my son got an electic pencil sharpener in his Easter basket. Every night I make sure he has enough sharpened pencils for the next day. I was tired of going downstairs to do that for him. He likes the thing, lol, but it was sort of really for me

Oh my! Having to remind every single day to wash his hair and body, when he gets in the shower. I think he thinks showers are for singing, acting out movies and playing with the dogs who are licking the shower curtain. After the shower we have to be reminded to brush our teeth and go through the arguing process of that. And!! !! Did anyone know that in the morning, if you have not eaten breakfast then brushing your teeth is completely "pointless"( his words)? Reminders to zip the fly, wash the hands, flush the toilet!! !! AHHHHHHHHHH!! !! !!Absolutely un-nerving. I have also come to the conclusion that this needs to be part of the routine, however, sometimes it's hard to be calm, cool and collected at every single moment of every single day!
PS....we have even tried putting pictures up with words to do the reminding but that worked for about 2 days when he got used to seeing the pictures and they melted into the wall. Lol!

I have thought about doing a picture schedule too, but I'm pretty sure that's what would happen. Mom, I already KNOW what to do.... it's getting him to DO it that's the problem. It would be so nice not to have to tell him, or his 11 yr. old brother. I need to remind myself that NT kids do this stuff too.

I'm in my forties and on the weekends I still have to be reminded sometimes, weekdays are more routine, you know get up, make coffee ,have my shower, shave, dress, brush hair, teeth, deodorant, breakfast, make lunch, teeth again and out the door, if it gets broken inevitably something gets missed, precisely why my wife sent deodorant and a tooth brush and tooth paste with me to work, just in case.

Sparkler22, my wife had to sit with our younger daughter every night to do homework, or it wouldn't get done, my wife said that instead of looking at all the homework at once she would write each question down separately to avoid the overwhelmedness. And as for the morning cleanliness stuff there was a list in the bathroom (our daughter is 19 and its still there), brush hair , brush teeth , deodorant, glasses and insulin- you have no idea how many times we had to run her insulin to her at school.

It is frustrating, but like DWmom, I give my wife credit for remaining calm, even now we still get the occasional call that her insulin has been forgotten, and I try to deliver it to her calmly (took many years for me to get to this point though, another long explanation probably not required here), but unfortunately we absorb each others emotions and moods like osmosis, so if I don't remain calm, my daughter won't remain calm. Anyway sorry for the ramble, I was getting distracted.

When my girlfriend's son Billy (9yo Aspie) has to do homework, he becomes the itchiest person in the world.
"Billy! Do your homework!"
"Wait! I'm itchy!! !" *scratch* *scratch* *scratch* "Ahhh...."
"Okay, now do your homework."
"Wait! I'm itchy!! !" *scratch* *scratch* *scratch* "Ahhh...."

Basically, its a delaying technique. Now, he HATES bath nights! Every other day is bath night. So I said that if he is so itchy, maybe he should be getting a bath every night.
Itching stopped. SHOCKER!! !

Brilliant, lol!

Although, seriously, and I wasn't going to add this, I've been giggling too much (thanks for the smile, btw ), but some kids are allergic to soaps and baths could make them itch more. We have to buy special soap for my NT daughter (no sulfates) and it has helped a lot. She used to itch all the time.

Oh, yes indeed. SS's delay technique (applied both while eating and during homework) is "stretching". Remarkable how he's never "just so stiff, I need to stretch" at any other time!

The latest? SS just started hunter safety classes.. DH's whole family are big hunters, and SS's grandpa can't wait to take him along hunting. Now, SS has taken marksmanship classes and excels there.. he's certified a sharpshooter by the NRA. But hunter safety is a whole different kettle of fish. It requires studying, homework and test-taking. You need to know your stuff to pass. He sits for an hour "working" on his assignments and gets almost nothing done. I'm of the opinion that if he doesn't pass, that's okay. That just means that he's not ready for the responsibility of hunting and handling a firearm, which is serious stuff. DH is very worried that if SS doesn't get thru, he'll never hear the end of it from his father. I say bring it on.. this is one I'm prepared to go to bat on. We're not about to help him cheat (which is what's been suggested by the grandparents- ostensibly doing his assignments for him) just so he can shoot stuff. I think if he doesn't learn the rules, he shouldn't be hunting. Period.

I totally agree with you there.

I support my son with his schoolwork, but he's on his own with scouting and all that. Among other things, they have to learn to function without the safety net on SOMETHING.

I knew I wasn't the only one who felt like that, but it was good to hear it from someone! Homework is frequently a nightmare for us too, and the only way to get through is to eliminate ALL distractions and sit there and go problem by problem or sentence by sentence. Which is fine while he's 10, but what happens in high school when there's more work and it's more difficult? I dread the thought. As for reminders to brush teeth, wash your hair, etc., they've just been incorporated into daily life. I don't know who it annoys more, us or him, but at least things get done that need to get done with little argument and minimal delay. If he feels like we treat him like someone much younger, he doesn't mention it.

One of my biggest frustrations right now is getting him to talk about topics other than his obsessions. We try to nicely direct him to other conversation, but it doesn't last. I want him to get that his conversations get annoying without making him feel bad about it, but I can't seem to say anything that works. Any suggestions?

For better or for worse, my son tends to talk and I tend to pretend to listen, and he knows quite well that I'm not really listening, and it's just the way we are. Not really a suggestion, just a statement of how it's evolved in our family.