Best quotes from video games.

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From the smuggler's storyline in Star Wars: the Old Republic MMO:

A slicer you've just freed from captivity was forced to clean the criminal record of the man who stole your starship. She offers to mess it up again.

"How bad do you want it?"

"I want his file dirtier than a sewer on Hutta."

"So, about the way I found it. <types> There, I put back all the files I'd deleted. He won't be able to move ten meters without attracting attention."

And some from Mass Effect 2:

Shepard: "It's been a couple of years since I passed through here. Security seems to have tightened a bit."
C-Sec Customs: "After the Geth attack, there was a review of security protocol. A few minor changes were made to reduce the risk of Geth infiltration. We apologize for the inconvenience."
Legion: "Geth do not infiltrate."
C-Sec Customs: "You should leave your personal synthetic assistant at home. They're not allowed on public shuttles anymore."
Legion: "Geth do not intentionally infiltrate."

Turian Arms Dealer: "Next time you go out in the Terminus systems, bring me back a Geth head to use as a table lamp."
Legion: "That functionality is not available."

Shepard: "Have you got a minute to talk?"
Mordin: "Actually, wanted to talk. Medical matters. Aware that mission is dangerous, different species react differently to stress. Aware you come by a great deal. Have had other species become attracted to me before. Awkward. Not interested."
Shepard: "You've had members of another species make a pass at you?"
Mordin: "Constantly. Very awkward. Skin tone apparently attractive by turian standards. Subset of krogan sexual deviants enjoy salarian flexibility. More cartilage in skeletal structure. Asari offers intriguing, actually. Wonder why. Transspecies pheremones unlikely to work. Must be neurochemical."
Shepard: "Wait a minute Mordin, you're just yanking me around, aren't you?"
Mordin: "Shocking suggestion! Doctor-patient confidentiality a sacred trust. Would never dream of mockery. Enjoy yourself while possible Shepard. Will be here studying cell reproduction. Much simpler. Less alcohol and mood music required."

Legion: "We do not comprehend the organic fascination of self-poisoning, auditory damage and sexually transmitted disease."

Mordin: ""No testing on species capable of calculus. Simple rule. Never broke it.""

Shepard: "Do you ever pause for a break?"
Mordin: "Sorry, I'll...try...to...slow...down....no, no no no, can't do it."

Shepard: "Have a minute to talk?"
Mordin:
-"Perhaps later. Trying to determine how scale itch got onto Normandy, sexually transmitted disease only carried by varren. Implications... unpleasant."
-"Not now, I think I just developed a cure for Joker's illness! No, wait, causes liver failure, never mind..."

Misty actually packs a zinger of a quote in Pokémon Yellow. :V

An awkward quote from Assassin's Creed 2:
Ezio's mom: You need a more creative outlet.
Ezio: I have plenty of outlets...
Ezio's mom: I meant besides vaginas.

"The world is full of stories; and from time to time, they permit themselves to be told..."

- Grandfather Enisi, Prey

That is, by far, the best opening dialogue to a game that I've ever heard.

"No Gods or Kings. Only Man" - Engraving from Bioshock

"Mr. Wellington loves large bananas!" - Phoenix Wright (Ace Attorney: Justice For All)

the Ace Attorney games have all sorts of great quotes though. Especially the stepladder debate that happens in all the games.

"I HATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATE......HATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATEHATE YOU!" - Kefka, Final Fantasy VI

"You found 50 Rupees! JOY!" - narrator, Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening

"We Don't go to Ravenholm".

Wendy, from Don't Starve:

"I WILL LEARN UNSPEAKABLE THINGS."

My video gaming friend told me about this one:
"I have the shiniest meat bicycle!! !! !!"

"This is why I joined Delta Force, the standing around..."
-Lugo , Spec Ops: The Line