Tales of Dungeons and Dragons

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Tell a tale of an interesting or funny thing that happened in game.

Example: While dungeon crawling, my party came across some magic stew. Upon drinking it, the DM rolled a dice that decided the effect it had on you: A fighter's skin turned a tie-dye pink and yellow, a wizardess' toenails grew three feet straight up and ruined her boots, a cleric got polymorphed into a rat, and my character's lips stuck together.

Your turn.

(If you've had multiple characters, use the newest.)

Half-elf Ranger/Thief (2nd ed.), Neutral Good, 12th level in both classes.

He was the fantasy genre's version of a Special Forces type. I had him fight with a longsword in one hand and a shortsword in the other. One day the party was fighting The Dragon That Wouldn't Die, and after about the 20th round of combat, I say something like, "My character looks into the camera and says, 'Who writes this crap?'"

The DM ruled that I had taken my action for that round, and had the dragon body-slam the Ranger, who took enough hit points to put him at minus eleven (it was a BIG dragon).

It cost him everything he had, plus owing two quests to the local church for the resurrection.

Stupid dragonses ... we hates 'em ... yesss, we doesss ...

I play a hyper-active, ambidextrous, kleptomaniac half-ling rouge (Chaotic Good). As part of having kleptomania unless it was a battle, every third round my action would be to steal something, usually of the DM's choosing. At the end of every game I have an item list that is huge. Of course my companions ignore my thieving habits until the end when every one acts surprised at what I have (or some point in the middle if it is a useful item like a key to a locked door, or a relic important to a monastery that they want returned), and then the leader drags me to the market to sell every thing. This was how our campaigns were funded. To make sure that my thieving was successful, after a skill check, the stolen item was told to me by paper and pencil, so my companions also did not know the stolen item, just in case it belonged to them.

I always wanted to get into Dungeons And Dragons as I love RPGs but I never knew anyone who could help me start up and also had no one to play with >.<

Tsproggy, I would like to get a game set up over skype or some other web cam thing. I know there are two others here on wrong planet who are interested in doing D&D over the internet. If you are interested I can put you on the list. I also have several half made characters ready at any given point. Doing the game over a web cam seems to be better than a typing forum that people come and leave for days at a time, and this way everyone would be sitting around the same proverbial table at the same time.

Although webcams don't work so well when your parents start yelling in the background

Reminds me of Big Bang Theory, when Howard's mom is always yelling up the stairs at him.