Minecraft help for my 10yo daughter

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I have a 10 year old daughter who loves to play on minecraft. The problem is she keeps getting banned from server after server. I have asked her if she has broken any of the rules and she says she hasn't. The only thing she can think of that people have been upset with her about is when she has asked them not to swear (she finds it very offensive), but she did say that swearing was against the rules anyway. She said they told her to go and play on a kiddie server if she didn't like it. I suggested that maybe in future she either tries to locate a children's server (if such a thing exists) or just lets the swearing go for now. The frustrating thing is they never warn her they are going to ban her and, once banned, there is no way of contacting anyone on the server to find out why. So we have no real way of finding out whether she has misunderstood the rules, committed some social faux pas or whether they are just being unfair - and no way of preventing her from repeating the same mistake again in the future.

Does anyone know:

1. Are there any servers aimed at children and how would we know which ones they are?
2. Is there any specific etiquette on minecraft we might not be aware of?
3. Better yet, does anyone know anyone who hosts a server who might be willing to work with her and let her know what she is doing wrong rather than just banning her with no explanation?

NB: I personally don't understand minecraft at all - it is largely beyond my technical expertise at this time so please type slowly

Sorry to hear about this. Used to get banned a lot myself back when I was her age(of course, there wasn't any Minecraft back then ), but I was really left to learn by myself what was and wasn't allowed on most forums or message boards or other websites. While I don't play much games like these myself, it seems to me that one general rule is that one shouldn't touch anyone else''s "projects" unless given permission or otherwise stated. Not sure if that might be it, but it's a rule I'd unpleasantly found out. It is a bit unfair, but playing with people my own age, we tend to really have nothing off limits and swearing is really just used as much as any other acceptable vocabulary, so even then you might want to find a serer specifically for children anyway to avoid anything too adult. Sorry that I can't really suggest any. Hope all goes well.

Thanks for replying. It's difficult because she doesn't know what she's getting banned for exactly and there's no way of finding out. Hopefully things will improve as she gets older.

She got banned from Roblox once as well. Apparently someone got too close to her and another member reported them for having sex! I tend to believe her when she says this was not the case as she doesn't even like watching people kiss on TV. At least we knew what was going on though and she was able to get back on in the end.

There are hundreds of servers, each with a different focus.

http://www.gamefront.com/top-10-best-minecraft-servers/

On the server I sometimes play one, children under 13 are banned if they admit their age because of legal reasons. The discussions on chat and vent are by adults, who don't want to get in trouble for a child hearing adult conversations or accidentally being spoken to as an adult by someone who doesn't know they are a little kid. Just because a server doesn't allow swearing doesn't mean it's a child-friendly environment.

In general, I wouldn't recommend letting your daughter randomly visit different servers without supervision, as oftentimes chat can get fairly inappropriate. This is a factor of many online games, not just MC.

That's really helpful. Do you know if there are any servers that are child-friendly, or how one would go about finding them?

Yes, I'd say it's likely because of her young age. Many servers have a 13+ age restriction to protect younger people. The following is a list of Minecraft servers. You can browse through them and see which are appropriate for your daughter.

I personally would prefer children under 13 to not go on public servers, however. A private game between her friends might be more appropriate and safer. The server setup program can be downloaded at http://www.minecraft.net/download. Obviously, unless you have your own 24/7 server setup it's not going to always be online like a public server, but your daughter can setup Minecraft time with her friends and organise to be online at the same time.

You Could Get On The Minecraft Forums And Ask If Anyone Would Like Her To Join A Server

If you want I run a server. I too hate swearing so it is banned and I also allow any one to play. It is turned off at the moment because I was moving it but it should be on again starting this afternoon.

Thanks for all your replies. She heard about Minecraft on Roblox and I had thought it was a similar sort of thing (Roblox is well monitored/moderated). Whenever I have checked in on her the chat has seemed fairly innocuous (they have usually just been talking about the game - moaning about griefing, talking about resources, skins, people asking for promotions etc.), nonetheless I have decided to restrict her to single player for the time being. The only other site she goes on regularly is Roblox where she meets up with a boy from her class, which I am going to allow her to continue with.

It is difficult as a parent trying to navigate boundaries with the internet as none of this was really around when I was her age and I don't have any friends with kids the same age so I don't really have anyone to discuss these sorts of issues with IRL. I do use a parental control software package to block her from accessing a lot of content, from giving out personal information (which she is drilled not to do anyway) and to monitor her activity, but I still struggle sometimes to know how best to keep her safe without being too paranoid or restrictive.

you could find a server for Kid or a Christian Based Server because I know how hard it is to find a server with no swearing. I know I am the way I get tired of server that has swaring on it. The Christian Gaming group that I play with has a Minecraft Server so I go there.

I play on this Minecraft server called Newkraft. It's not really a "no profanity" server, or a "children's" server, but it has rather understanding admins. If she makes it clear she's new and doesn't really understand the unspoken rules of Minecraft, the worst that can happen is getting griefed.

As a parent I thought Minecraft was like other Multiplayer games. So when my kid was repeatedly getting banned, I lectured, then got a character myself and followed some of what was going on, I tried pleading or reasoning, all to no avail.
Then I finally listened to my kid and read up on Minecraft.

The paradigm is very different. The creator calls it a sandbox game. He provides the tools. But anyone and I mean anyone can be an admin. It means every server has its own rules, and some admins are completely random and unfair. But that's life and the appeal. You move on and find a server by word of mouth (the forums), trial and error, or create your own world with your own rules and ban those who disrupt. There are anti hacking mods as many troll to destroy on "vanilla" servers.
On many servers, antisocial behavior is the expectation. You can visit different modes to experience anything. And chat is completely unmonitored and unchecked.