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SaveFerris
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02 Jun 2019, 12:36 pm

envirozentinel wrote:
You should have called! Before it's too late!

What's Cthulhu's number by the way?


Cthulhu's number is ex-directory , too many cold callers I think. Cthulhu calls you anyway :twisted:


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naturalplastic
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02 Jun 2019, 12:38 pm

Trueno wrote:
naturalplastic wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
Ezekiel is my favourite


The one I identify with the most is...Onan! :D


Steady on, now.


Well...he was the one who first discovered...umm...first discovered.....first discovered....HIMSELF! :D



Trueno
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02 Jun 2019, 12:44 pm

naturalplastic wrote:
Trueno wrote:
naturalplastic wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
Ezekiel is my favourite


The one I identify with the most is...Onan! :D


Steady on, now.


Well...he was the one who first discovered...umm...first discovered.....first discovered....HIMSELF! :D


I believe Dorothy Parker called her parrot Onan because he was always spilling his seed.


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cyberdad
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03 Jun 2019, 2:15 am

OMG! the scripture on Onan is too unbelievable to consider
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Onan

WTH was god thinking???



Fnord
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03 Jun 2019, 8:33 am

cyberdad wrote:
WTH was god thinking???
Ask Him.



TheRevengeofTW1ZTY
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03 Jun 2019, 9:44 am

If only magic was real... I would be just like Ursula from The Little Mermaid. :chin:


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cyberdad
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04 Jun 2019, 1:54 am

Fnord wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
WTH was god thinking???
Ask Him.

Still waiting for a response.....................................................................................



naturalplastic
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04 Jun 2019, 5:39 am

cyberdad wrote:
OMG! the scripture on Onan is too unbelievable to consider
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Onan

WTH was god thinking???


Yeah. Folks (including Mel Brooks in the 2000 year old man sketches with Carl Riener) mistakenly think he was punshed for masturbating (that was what I was joking about). But scholars agree that that is a misconception.

His actual crime was doing real sex, but then pulling out too soon. And that's what angered God.

In other words: like many modern investors today, Onan "paid a substantial penalty for early withdrawal". :lol:



TwilightPrincess
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04 Jun 2019, 6:38 am

naturalplastic wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
OMG! the scripture on Onan is too unbelievable to consider
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Onan

WTH was god thinking???


Yeah. Folks (including Mel Brooks in the 2000 year old man sketches with Carl Riener) mistakenly think he was punshed for masturbating (that was what I was joking about). But scholars agree that that is a misconception.

His actual crime was doing real sex, but then pulling out too soon. And that's what angered God.

In other words: like many modern investors today, Onan "paid a substantial penalty for early withdrawal". :lol:


But we can infer that since semen is so valuable none of it should be wasted.

Wet dreams should be avoided at all costs, so it’s important to avoid fantasizing before bed (this has actually been said!).



magz
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04 Jun 2019, 6:48 am

Twilightprincess wrote:
But we can infer that since semen is so valuable none of it should be wasted.

Wet dreams should be avoided at all costs, so it’s important to avoid fantasizing before bed (this has actually been said!).

It's really funny that in the context of Levirate law, the motives of Onan were most likely all about inheritance, not sex.


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cyberdad
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04 Jun 2019, 6:52 am

naturalplastic wrote:
His actual crime was doing real sex, but then pulling out too soon. And that's what angered God.


magz wrote:
It's really funny that in the context of Levirate law, the motives of Onan were most likely all about inheritance, not sex.


It's really strange that an omnipotent being who has power over the entire universe would spend his sunday afternoon watching some random Jewish dude having sex?



TwilightPrincess
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04 Jun 2019, 6:55 am

cyberdad wrote:
naturalplastic wrote:
His actual crime was doing real sex, but then pulling out too soon. And that's what angered God.


magz wrote:
It's really funny that in the context of Levirate law, the motives of Onan were most likely all about inheritance, not sex.


It's really strange that an omnipotent being who has power over the entire universe would spend his sunday afternoon watching some random Jewish dude having sex?


He is thought to be watching all things at all times. It’s a rather uncomfortable thought to have when one is using the bathroom.



magz
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04 Jun 2019, 7:00 am

Twilightprincess wrote:
He is thought to be watching all things at all times. It’s a rather uncomfortable thought to have when one is using the bathroom.

St Francis was said to sing psalms in an outhouse.


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cyberdad
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04 Jun 2019, 7:01 am

Twilightprincess wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
naturalplastic wrote:
His actual crime was doing real sex, but then pulling out too soon. And that's what angered God.


magz wrote:
It's really funny that in the context of Levirate law, the motives of Onan were most likely all about inheritance, not sex.


It's really strange that an omnipotent being who has power over the entire universe would spend his sunday afternoon watching some random Jewish dude having sex?


He is thought to be watching all things at all times. It’s a rather uncomfortable thought to have when one is using the bathroom.

Exactly my point! It's like having somebody spying on you when masturbating to pornhub



TwilightPrincess
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04 Jun 2019, 7:02 am

cyberdad wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
naturalplastic wrote:
His actual crime was doing real sex, but then pulling out too soon. And that's what angered God.


magz wrote:
It's really funny that in the context of Levirate law, the motives of Onan were most likely all about inheritance, not sex.


It's really strange that an omnipotent being who has power over the entire universe would spend his sunday afternoon watching some random Jewish dude having sex?


He is thought to be watching all things at all times. It’s a rather uncomfortable thought to have when one is using the bathroom.

Exactly my point! It's like having somebody spying on you when masturbating to pornhub


The idea is supposed to keep you from engaging in such practices.



cyberdad
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04 Jun 2019, 7:02 am

magz wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
He is thought to be watching all things at all times. It’s a rather uncomfortable thought to have when one is using the bathroom.

St Francis was said to sing psalms in an outhouse.

Lord make me an instrument of your peace
Where there is hatred let me sow love
Where there is injury, pardon
Where there is doubt, faith
Where there is despair, hope
Where there is darkness, light
And where there is sadness, joy
O divine master grant that I may
not so much seek to be consoled as to console
to be understood as to understand
To be loved as to love
For it is in giving that we receive
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned
And it's in dying that we are born to eternal life
Amen

**Flush**