Are you afraid to die?

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I don't know if they actually accept organs from dead prisoners or not. I know you can't donate plasma if you have spent time in prison.

Think about it, all that rape and violence that goes on in prison puts you at high risk for contracting HIV and Hepatitis.

You might be able to donate your body to medical science though. I've heard of at least one prisoner who did that in a documentary.

I have to wonder how much fear of death, like a lot of (though not all) cases of depression, seem to be more results of mismatches of information. For example I remember the most depressed I ever was (in my late teens) being in state where I believed everyone had everything I wanted and I couldn't have it, whereas when I came to realize that they didn't have nearly as much as I thought, that most of it was facade, and that most of the hell of living was something hardly anyone gets to run from (or simply pays a different price than I did) I actually got less depressed - by understanding that I was suffering in an all-around worse, rather than better, world than I'd previously believed I was in.

Fear of death is probably something similar to that if people have it in the generalized sense. I could see fear of what might happen to those who you take care of, or fear of dying in a really tragic manner, or fear of dying at your own hands and what additional consequences that could have, all of that makes sense, but fear of death in the blanket sense seems like it's closer to a kind of data indigestion. A lot of the people you love the most, even the people you've looked up to the most and who shaped your lives, are going off into the sunset like that. We're all only so many turns/generations from doing the same ourselves. It's a revolving door. In that sense the thing itself doesn't seem like it merits fear.

my sis hadda mouse that lived for 3 years. Jeanne Calment was blind and deaf and wheelchair-bound, so if living to 120 in this case at least sounds more like a living death.

Tell that to Helen Keller.

I should have used more precise language in this case- ms. Keller was a person of exceptional mental/psychological resources, I should have said that if I MYSELF lived to 120 but [with typical genes] in a totally wore out body, I MYSELF would consider it more like a living death.

Maybe I could become a vampire? Or a powerful witch?

I want the dark gift of eternal life.

according to various religions, eternal life is a freebie, with varying descriptions. we are eternal beings. third law of thermodynamics is that all energy is conserved, none may be destroyed, only changed in form.

But I want to sleep in coffins and brew magic potions out of newt eyes and mushrooms.

in the astral plane above this one, there is nothing preventing you from doing just that.

At least I can always do it in my fantasies, or while playing The Elder Scrolls.

there will come a time when you can do that to your heart's content.

One sort of trippy fact I caught about Helen Keller was that she ended up being something of a devotee to Emanuel Swedenborg's work and a lot of 'Light in my Darkness' was about his impact on her.

The only thing that would give me comfort about dying is knowing that if I donate my body to medical science I might potentially make the world a better place.

If more people donated their bodies we might can understand more things about us humans and find ways to treat and cure terminal diseases or even understand mental illness by studying the brain and possibly finding ways to cure mental illness.

Given the chance I would love a cure for Bipolar Disorder so maybe by studying my corpse we can someday find a cure?

later in Helen Keller's life she made veiled references to being able to "see" [with her mind] spirits and another world/spiritual dimension.

anybody else beside me here, an organ donor?

Yes, full on. I'm even donated to research, I think? I figure my brain will be a marvel for them between the synaesthesia, my stroke, the ASD and my PTSD (not to mention my general oddities)