Disturbing Passages in Holy Books

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Misslizard
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28 Oct 2023, 11:53 am

TwilightPrincess wrote:

Apparently. Maybe they keep it in a special place along with her baby teeth and first shoes.

In the the box with the foreskin collection.

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TwilightPrincess
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28 Oct 2023, 1:00 pm

:lmao:

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blitzkrieg
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28 Oct 2023, 1:43 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:

Gee, I wonder who devirginates most girls and young women, historically and statistically speaking?
Makes sense they would stone them to death to hide the testimony.

Sounds like a fun book. / s

You should read the bible, Isabella.

A lot of people agree with more things in the bible than they would admit publicly, I think.

Some people just assume that nobody reads the bible and therefore that must be why it is so popular, perhaps as a symbolic gesture of religion rather than a book read for its content. I have seen people mention this kind of thing online, historically.

I don't think that is entirely true.

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IsabellaLinton
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28 Oct 2023, 1:45 pm

I go to church. ^

I could never follow a book like that with so many characters.

I’m not into reading about commandments and child sacrifice anyway.

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blitzkrieg
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28 Oct 2023, 1:47 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:

I go to church. ^

I could never follow a book like that with so many characters.

I’m not into reading about commandments and child sacrifice anyway.

Child sacrifice was more acceptable in less civilized times.

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IsabellaLinton
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28 Oct 2023, 1:49 pm

You should read Kant and Plato.

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TwilightPrincess
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28 Oct 2023, 1:49 pm

^^ I’m glad you posted that. Now Isabella knows not to murder people.

It’s a shame God has trouble with that commandment in the Old Testament.

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TwilightPrincess
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28 Oct 2023, 2:00 pm

If I were writing the Ten Commandments, I would’ve replaced a few of them with something else. How about instead of “no idols” he include “don’t abuse children?”

How about instead of “don’t blaspheme” he include “don’t rape?”

How about instead of “observing the sabbath” he include “be nice to people?”

Just some ideas that aren’t fully formed or set in stone. I’m a bit tipsy at the moment.

In any case, as it stands, God seems like a self-absorbed prick.

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blitzkrieg
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28 Oct 2023, 2:27 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:

You should read Kant and Plato.

I'll put them on my list of authors/figures to read.

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28 Oct 2023, 2:35 pm

According to the fundies, Moses had forgotten some commandments. Here are some of the lost ones.

11. Thou shalt be ashamed by natural anatomy.
12. Thou shalt only have sex face-to-face, man on top.
13. Thou shalt not bastardize the American language.
14. Thou shalt always clean thy plate and not waste anything, whether thy stomach is full or not.
15. The Lord works in mysterious ways.
16. Spare the rod and spoil the child.
18. Thou shalt be loyal to all thy friends at the same time.
19. Thou shalt not masturbate.
21. Get it right! ( this one refers to the Lord's prayer. There are different versions of the Lord's prayer but only one is the correct version.)
29. Everything's fine! (No idea what this one is about. Maybe denial in the event of something gone terribly wrong in a perfect Christian world.)
38. Thou shalt never hold a gun without anyone to shoot at.
63. Thou shalt never forget thy loaded a gun when thou has an innocent child in the house.

And finally, they believe Moses got commandment number 4 wrong.
It's supposed to be "Honor thy father, not mother, just thy father."

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TwilightPrincess
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28 Oct 2023, 2:37 pm

^ Excellent points!

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blitzkrieg
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28 Oct 2023, 2:40 pm

Aspiegaming wrote:

Do you have a source for these?

The list seems suspect, not least because Moses supposedly lived about 3,500 years ago, whilst guns were only invented 1,000 years ago (approx').

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28 Oct 2023, 2:42 pm

blitzkrieg wrote:

Aspiegaming wrote:

Do you have a source for these?

The list seems suspect, not least because Moses supposedly lived about 3,500 years ago, whilst guns were only invented 1,000 years ago (approx').

My source is satire.

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28 Oct 2023, 2:44 pm

It was obvious satire although there are many more than 10 commandments in the Bible.

613.

https://www.jmu.edu/dukehallgallery/exh ... zvot.shtml

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Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 28 Oct 2023, 2:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.

blitzkrieg
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28 Oct 2023, 2:45 pm

Oh right.

My satire detector remained off.

#autism moments

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28 Oct 2023, 2:51 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:

It was obvious satire although there are many more than 10 commandments in the Bible.

613.

https://www.jmu.edu/dukehallgallery/exh ... zvot.shtml

Damn, how is anyone supposed to remember all that and follow it all?

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