I completely agree with Sand on the issue of death. I was raised Catholic, really just so my mom could keep up with the Jones', and always struggled with the idea of heaven and hell. Even as a very young child, it just sounded silly to me. I have had a great many losses in my life too. My father died when I was 14 and I was encouraged to envision him in heaven in spite of the fact that he was a Jew by heritage and an athiest in practice. It temporarily provided a slight comfort, but more so, it made me put off feeling the grief that naturally occurs with a loss. In the long run I think it was detrimental to my overall accptance. When my mother died many years later, I had already rejected the notion of religion, and I feel so much more at peace with her death than I ever did with my dad's death. She died. It hurt like hell and that was OK and natural. Only after truly grieveing can we move on towards acceptance. She has been burried in the ground and that's it. Why does that horrify so many people? It's only nature.
My own child (an Aspie) has, sadly, experienced the loss of his grandfather, his grandmother, and his cat, all by the age of 4. His greatest struggle was with understanding the concept of death. Once he gained a grasp on it, he was sad and he knows that it's OK to be sad. He occasionally says that he misses g'ma, g'pa, and kitty, but he has never once asked where they are now. He has really dealt with these losses remarkably well, thank goodness. He knows that when someone dies, their body gets burried, and we remember them through pictures, movies, and coversation. I did try to explain that some people believe that the soul of someone who dies goes to a wonderful place called heaven, and he looked at me like I was nuts - almost like I was patronizing him.
I will also add that I am neither Agnostic, nor Athiest. I do believe in God. I just don't believe that He is some dude hanging out in the sky. I believe that God is equal to the capacity of goodness that lies within all of us. Some people use religion to fulfill their capacity and some do not. I do not.
21 Aug 2009, 11:18 am
