About victimization.... let's discuss

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I have never once said that it's ok for women and not men.
I look at the jail rosters for fun,maybe it will cheer you up to know that I see lots women arrested for domestic violence.Look for yourself.
You can flip my story if you like,a man shoots his abusive wife,There,all happy?

no, i know lots of women go in for that, but you do not see them go to prisons or if they do its only a short while, while the men gets the shaft. I wouldn't mind it if they treated them more equally for the same crimes. just because one is more stronger then the other sex does not mean the intent was still not the same..

In many ways I think women expect the men to be the more stronger to lean upon and so suck it up more, while its fairly OK for a woman to play the defenseless victim and expect sympathy from others. so even though women may sympathies they do not in the end want much to do with that weaker whiny male. even though they beg for a sensitive male. the only reals sensitive male a woman wants is for her own needs, while men have to cork it or be rejected as not strong enough. after all how can he be strong enough for you if he is not strong enough for him self. when deep down were all human and have needs. men have to stifle it or get rejected, women place men in those positions. then cry out when were not so sympathetic.


A Quote from Oliveoilmom.

"and who can actually rein me in when I go way over the line, and that's hard to do. I like my man to have more balls than I do, but my husband really doesn't for the most part. I don't want him submissive at all, "

She does not want an equal, she would get board with him, she wants a dominating male that will lead, yet if he was she would do nothing but complain he is being a sexist. its a no win situation for males and thats why he choses to be passive. its better to be the passive victim then the accused. women may say they want to be strong as men, yet when they are they still expect men to be that stronger enough to handle them. where is mans equality enough to relax and be weak and feel understood for a change without being rejected for it? woman is getting her equality, where is mans?

I would think the idea relationship,(which most likely does not exist )would be to accept that each partner has strengths and weaknesses.To become stronger as a unit,people should prop each other up thru hard times,sort of you scratch my back I'll scratch yours.The healthy takes care of the sick,the person that works comes home to a partner that has a nice meal fixed,if they both work,split the cooking ,chores or order take out, maybe pay someone come in and tidy up.Myself,I'd rather mow the lawn,he he could do the dishes. Then we'd both have a beer.
I think perhaps,some women have seen older female family members that were really bossed around,they may think,"I'm not going to let some man treat me like that."The older generation did have a different set of ideas about what's the role of a wife and that the man is always the head of the household.Most men these days don't have those attitudes,except for a few stubborn holdouts.Some men even have more respect for women because they didn't like the way their male relatives treated the females.A friend of mine gets aggravated at his Dad,the old man will spill a drink on the floor,and then demand that his wife come clean it up.He made the mess,he can walk,he's retired,he should clean up after himself.The younger man does not treat his mother that way,thinks its disrespectful.Of course he loves his dad regardless,and he's learned a valuable lesson,how not to treat your partner.

Pretty much.

In this society, such a negative and hateful spin is put on so-called 'attention seekers'.

I really don't understand this though, because anybody 'seeking attention' is usually a huge cry for help - 'I am lonely and nobody acknowledges me in any way'....'I can't get anybody to listen to me - what must I do not to get constantly ignored?'....'nobody cares, so I must MAKE them care in some way....how do I make people care about me?'...

You cannot force people to care or acknowledge you....the 'default' human condition is mistrust, hatred and suspicion of their fellow man and a lot of the time their minds will never change, so 'playing the victim card' just to gain sympathy and support as a form of 'getting people to acknowledge you' becomes a very appealing alternative.

No doubt bad things happen and continue to happen, but until such times as you realise that everybody is the victim of LIFE and that society has now dehumanised the human to the point of 'your emotions are totally invalid', your pity party won't last very long.

Now, whenever I whine about anything I get 'go drink a bag of cement and harden the f*** up' or 'build a bridge and get over it' or 'grow a thicker skin' or 'here's 50 cents...go phone somebody who cares'...etc...etc.

It's pointless to bottle up emotions, because that will only destroy you from the inside-out. You can't express them either, because nobody gives a damn (except if you are expressing them to a psychiatrist)...so what did I do?

I totally denied that such things ever happened to me and they were only a 'bad dream'. I had to lie to myself and to others, but that was more preferrable...and then, I discovered that my emotions were not important to myself or anybody else, so I am also in the process of losing every last, remaining one.

After that, I shall be totally free.

Precisely.

Having PTSD I have a bit of thought on this. I had something traumatic enough to cause it happen in the past....I do see intent where none is, it does upset me if not send me into a flashback or panic mode if I see or hear about simular things(not every single time, usually happens more when already stressed) or even if something totally unrelated somehow reminds me it can be very upsetting.

Thing is I don't choose for that to end up being a major focus in my life, but my brain is essentially stuck in a perpetual state of thinking there is ongoing danger...or that what happened with the lockdown will happen again, or something like it will happen. Its like my mind is looking for it everywhere more to prevent it in general or so if it happens I can go into survival mode and get out of there or fight for my life or whatever....I don't like it though and would love to have a switch I could just turn off so my brain knocks that crap off. Doesn't matter how much I know for a fact something isn't happening or wont happen I still will feel like it is and act accordingly which really sucks.

So I am thinking maybe for a lot of people who have that kind of issue they might have PTSD or maybe not even that and just haven't coped with it well or gotten the closure they needed to move on. I doubt there are really very many people that would choose to be stuck in the past essentially and afraid the same crap will happen again to the extent it interferes with them going about their life. Maybe they are 'victimizing themself' in the sense its their brain, but much of the time I doubt people want to be looking for the lurking danger or reminders of past unpleasantness. To prevent it there would have to be a way to somehow ensure everyone can handle any given situation they might end up in and cope with it well enough also that people have a support network of people to help them through their rough time....so not so sure prevention is plausable. To help people....well there is always therapy, medications if its PTSD or another mental illness playing a role in the stuck in the past issue, but no guarantee those things will get rid of the issue at least entirely.