Not everyone can be a winner.

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So, you set your own goals, too

I don't like to lose.

I was a serious temper-tantrum thrower if I ever lost anything as a child.

But I learned, truly, that it's more "in how you played the game" than the fact of beating someone else.

I am one who believes competition, fair and virtuous competition, is good for the soul. A poor winner, though, is much worse than a sore loser.

I once won third place in a bowling tournament. I wanted to tear the trophy limb from limb. That's how competitive I was when I was 12. I felt like third place really sucked!

Last edited by kraftiekortie on 15 Oct 2020, 8:36 am, edited 2 times in total.

Sure ... if merely showing up at the starting line is the goal of everyone who enters a marathon, then they are all winners, and each deserves a trophy for their participation.

But if coming in first at the finish line earns someone $1000 and free running shoes, why not go all the way?

I'm proud of myself for finishing the marathon in under 4 hours-----but I don't believe I deserved a trophy for it. All I deserved is to be treated with respect, just like I treat everyone else with respect.

Trophies are for people who perform in a superior manner.....that's it!

That kind of "trophy" should be rather interpreted as a souvenir, I think.

There is a huge difference between setting a goal like, "show up for class" and setting a goal like, "turn in all of your homework on time and without errors, and ace every quiz, test, and exam."  People who make the former choice end up working for people who make the latter choice.

If you are going to set your own goals, make them meet or exceed the accepted standards of success, or accept the fact that you will always be a loser.

Harsh, but true.

I had a 3.8 GPA in college. I wish I would have done better. I really could have done better----but I was just sort of lazy.

That's my mindset.

Still, not being a "winner" doesn't mean you're a "loser."

Really?  Ever seen the movie Glengarry Glen Ross?  Let's talk about something important...

(WARNING: Profanity.)



"We're adding a little something to this month's sales contest.  First prize is a Cadillac El Dorado.  Second prize is a set of steak knives.  Third prize is you're fired." -- Alec Baldwin as Blake in Glengarry Glen Ross (1992)

THAT is the difference between winners and losers: a set of steak knives that you can buy at any Dollar Store.

If you're healthy and fit, you can set your goal as finishing a marathon.
If you're a professional runner, you can set your goal as winning a marathon.
If you're living with some serious health condition, walking 5 km can be a goal requiring just as much determination.

Of course, walking 5 km is not a challenge for a healthy person, just as showing up on a lecture should not be any challenge for a student worth the lecturer's time. But you're not a loser if you just pass instead of aceing every now and then.

Most of life is not about being the best but about being good enough. You don't need to marry Miss World, just the lady you like. You don't need to be the richest person on the world, just a person not in financial trouble. You don't need to live in the best mansion in the world, just a regular home. You don't need to be the most popular person in the world, just have some friends.
Acing in your specialization is certainly a good choice but you're not a loser if somewhere in the world there is someone who does it even better.

Do I?

I prefer decent steak knives myself. I don't like the feeling of cutting myself with a lousy steak knife.

I might go to a dollar store to get a drink mix----but I certainly wouldn't go to one to get a fine wine...

I would agree...Only a conceited person would see anyone who didn't "win" as being a "loser", and that is the type of person who is best shunned, rather than interacted with.

I consider knowing I did my best to be all the reward I need. I know my limits and am happy to push them, but I am also self-aware enough to know I will never be "the best". This won't let me stop pushing myself to at least be "the best" that I can be, though.

Over and over again, mediocrity gets promoted only because greatness cannot be found; but when greatness suddenly arrives, the mediocre shudder in fear of being revealed as suddenly "not good enough" because the standards of greatness have just been raised.

Be careful that the standards you have set for yourself never get raised above you by someone else.

Better yet, work on becoming the standard by which other people are measured and found wanting.

Fnord lives in a world full of losers. I don't like Fnords world.

Personally, I prefer the term "also ran" instead of "loser" -- there is less of a bite to it, and the people being so referred to don't seem to mind as much.

"X won the race.  Y and Z also ran, but X is the winner!"

Flies are buzzing round my head
Vultures circling the dead
Picking up every last crumb
The big fish eat the little ones
Not my problem, give me some

You can try the best you can
The best you can is good enough

Dinosaurs roaming the Earth

-lyrics of some song