Sweetleaf wrote:
I mean initially when i decided I was a satanist I had not entirely rejected the christian beliefs, so I figured I'd be doomed to hell but I just figured maybe it wouldn't be as bad as people say and at the very least sounded more interesting then heaven the place of boredom and besides I always liked the bible stories that had 'the devil' didn't seem like he was evil, just that he was encouraging people to question things and use a little objective reasoning before making a choice. Maybe I was a weird kid I mean I was only ever told bad things about satan, but from my perspective he seemed misunderstood and I felt that way and well I don't recall any bible stories where he smote anyone wheras god according to the bible did it quite a bit. But anymore I take the more atheistic view and just enjoy the symbolism I don't think any of it is real.
The historic satan that manifests in the first millennia after Christ seems to be a cross between different pre-christian religious and spiritual beings often labelled as pagan.
Infact the way you describe yourself might describe most of the Anglo-Saxon world between 450-650AD who would have worn a crucifix in the shape of Thor's hammer, prayed the Lord's prayer on a manuscript written using old celtic artwork depicting magical creatures and sacrificed animals (smearing the blood on their face) and praying to the all-father Wodin on Wodin's day (Wednesday) and then going with their family to church on Sunday.
This is infact why the old Anglo-Saxon Twi's day, Wodin's day, Thor's day and Freya's day are retained in the days of the week.