Ritual and Results

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Get a dog and take it for walks. Instead of giving you cancer it will provide companionship which reduces stress.


A dog who will pee inside if you don't take it out is even better motivation

Strange ... some people will fill their lungs, and those of everyone around them, with crap from their cigarettes, yet still go ape-shirt when they notice the 'kennel stink' in thier home from owning a dog.

Tried a dog, from a refuge, 5 years ago. I nearly had ( yet another) breakdown. Took it back after 5 days.

It totally freaked me out. Too much responsibility, like a mini/micro but still concentrated version of the hell it was becoming a mother.

Basically there is NO WAY I am getting a dog. I have trouble just making sure my 9 year old son brushes his teeth at least once a day and doesn't go out in clothes smelly from not changing them for over a week. He's healthy and mostly happy but I definitely do not need another creature to look after, thank you.

My son had a hamster for 3 years, which he did not look after, being PDD/AS and having trouble just brushing his own teeth once a day. I looked after it. I cleaned its cage out etc, and fed it healthy food, but it was still almost too much, and we had no idea what to do with it. It slept all day, and pissed everywhere if we let it out.

I am aspergers you know.
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The smoking is working very well.

I go out every morning, showered and dressed ( I now have an amethyst crystal necklace to go with the floaty purple shirt ! ) and sit on the cafe terrace with the most sun for at least an hour and a half watching the world go by, sometimes with my son who draws or reads to pass the time.

I smoke one or two cigarettes there, and perhaps another 2-3 during the rest of the day on a doorstep opposite our house in the tiny "road" ( no cars ever) that our house is in, catching the last of the sun.

I allow myself two cigarettes a day in the shade/out of direct sunlight, ( therefore a total of between 3 and 5 a day ) but none after sunset, though I have decided that I may also smoke at a social or musical event, ( if they should occur ).

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Odd how this thread on helpful rituals has turned into an argument about the benefits and drawbacks of smoking.

I suppose it's a bit like religion generally; people often think other's ( supportive/comforting etc) rituals are stupid.

I sun worship ( with the help of the four elements ritually combined in a hand-rolled cigarette ), and it transforms my life. I am happier, healthier, ( for the sunshine, and the getting out) and harm no one because I smoke outside. But apparently getting a dog ( in a house with no garden), that will inevitably piss and s**t on public paths, consume some of the most expensively packaged ( costing a lot more than I spend on tobacco) and repellent by-products of the meat industry, and that will cause me immense worry, is a good idea.

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Actually you can cook your own dog food; it's cheaper and healthier, just more time consuming.

Obviously if you have difficulty looking after a dog then that is not the option for you. It's a motivation that helps a lot of people get out and get exercise but that doesn't mean it's for everyone.

But I still think there are better options than smoking, which will damage your lungs. Why not take up a martial art to keep yourself active? Or just set an alarm for a particular time each day and go out for a walk when it rings? Or take a cigarette outside but don't smoke it?

Now it is likely that none of my suggestions will work for you, because I am not you and I don't know how you think. But I believe that if you experiment you can find a method that works for you, and is healthier than smoking.

I have to have my tea and toast with marmalade in the morning. It's the best moment of the day for me. That's my sacred ritual. It's all downhill after that, ha.

I'm a nicotine addict, have been for a long time. If you can keep it down to a certain number a day, or only at certain times, that's probably a good idea. I'm too far gone for all that.

I also like my cups of tea, it breaks up the day. I'm busy outside a lot at the moment, although it's winter here I have a lot of outdoor work to do, chainsawing and planting and stuff (I have a neglected farm, ugh, work work work).

With the price of vegetables why not try growing some of your own? I will be this year. You have to fence them off here though, with the birds and rabbits and wallabies all looking for something to eat.

I'm not sure why you find it so hard to go outside, I guess you need something to do, you tend to look stupid just standing there...where I am there's not really anyone to observe me so I don't care if I look stupid. I take the dogs (I agree about how much work pets are, mine are a full time job).

It's amazing how wonderful tiny little activities can be. I totally agree.

Imagine having a day full of them? ! ! ... ... ... ... ...

Growing vegetables not an option; no garden. Which is one reason why wasn't getting out. Getting out into the sunshine in a garden would have been easy.

Have had to drop the coffee component of my morning smoking ritual because after just two weeks I was getting way too revved up and strung out. Which is a bummer. Am going to have to ask for hot water in a cup at the cafe from now on to add my favourite non-crystallised sugar to instead. I love coffee. It's such a hit, but so totally too much for my body.

Anyone else got any beloved/essential/vital/central rituals/ceremonies in their lives which help them start the day, survive the day, meet people, do their jobs, cope, whatever?

Thanks for replies so far.

I was thinking some more about your sacred morning ritual and realised that it sounds like one perfect all-inclusive "hair of the dog" for wheat/gluten, dairy ( if you have butter on your toast and/or milk in your tea), citrus/orange, and sugar intolerances/addictions.

Those are four of the seven most common food intolerances in the west, and one classic feature of a food intolerance is addiction to the food, making "break fast" very often very similar to the first cigarette of the day, ( or first drink for an alcoholic), ... ... sublime ( relief of withdrawal built up over the night).

Maybe can't actually call something a ritual if the actions involved have a clear and real function. A ritual is maybe made up precisely of actions which have no "normal"/verifiable usefulness/sense.

Rolling cigarettes in order to get me out in the sunshine would be a ritual if tobaccco weren't addictive. But it is, and therefore the activity of rolling and smoking has the function of relief, not ritual. Equally the tea and toast may be functional.

So perhaps what this thread shows, the few posts etc, a lack of connection with/interest in ritual as non-functional activity carried out in the expectation of/belief in a result of some kind, is precisely what Aspies do not do. We only do things if we see a real effect. Hence our difficulty with so many areas of life, because they involve such mind boggling amounts of what seem to us like utterly pointless activities, ... ritual.

If a ritual can be shown/seen to reliably have results it is no longer a ritual but a useful action. For instance list-making to help one get round to doing things, was once a ritual, magic, with hypothetical "powers" attached, whereas now it is known why this is useful, ( cognitive psychology has explained etc), it is simply a tool.

The oddest thing is that, perhaps because of AS which apparently involves difficulty remembering past cause-effect connections ( in the flesh experiences of) or learning new ones, I have a tendency to find an awful lot of things "ritual-like" and have difficulty taking them seriously/respecting or using them, despite their very often being useful tools, sensible approaches to things. ... hmm

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