Religions of the World

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What's the Scientology viewpoint on s*it?

What's the Scientology viewpoint on s*it?

Give us all your money and we'll audit the sh*t out of you?

RELIGIONS OF THE WORLD

Taoism: s**t Happens.
Hare Krishna: s**t Happens Rama Rama Ding Ding.
Hinduism: This s**t Happened Before.
Islam: If s**t Happens, Take A Hostage.
Zen: What Is The Sound Of s**t Happening?
Buddhism: When s**t Happens, Is It Really s**t?
Confucianism: Confucius Say, "s**t Happens."
7th Day Adventist: s**t Happens On Saturdays.
Protestanism: s**t Won't Happen If I Work Harder.
Catholicism: If s**t Happens, I Deserve It.
Jehovah's Witness: Knock, Knock, "s**t Happens."
Unitarian: What Is This s**t?
Mormon: s**t Happens Again & Again & Again.
Judaism: Why Does This s**t Always Happen To Us?
Rastafarianism: Let's Smoke This s**t.
Southern Baptist: Send Us Money And s**t Won't Happen.
CALVINISM: s**t happens because you don't work hard enough.
HEDONISM: There's nothing like a good s**t happening.
MOONIES: Would You Like To Buy Some s**t?
STOICISM: This s**t is good for me.
ZOROASTRIANISM: s**t only happens half the time.
CHRISTIAN SCIENCE: s**t is in your mind.
Environmentalism: You produce s**t, so you have to eat it.
Socialism: Sorry, we are out of s**t today.
Feminism: That's not funny!
Atheism: There is no s**t.
Atheism: Can you believe this s**t?

TAOISM: s**t happens.

CONFUCIANISM: Confucius say, "s**t happens".

ZEN: (What is the sound of s**t happening?)

JESUITISM: If s**t happens and when nobody is watching, is it really s**t?

ISLAM: s**t happens if it is the will of Allah.

COMMUNISM. Equal s**t happens to all people.

CATHOLICISM: s**t happens because you are bad.

PSYCHOANALYSIS: s**t happens because of your toilet training.

SCIENTOLOGY: s**t happens if you're on our s**t list.

ZOROASTRIANISM: Bad s**t happens, and good s**t happens.

UNITARIANISM: Maybe s**t happens. Let's have coffee and donuts.

RIGHT-WING PROTESTANTISM: Let this s**t happen to someone else.

JUDAISM: Why does s**t always happen to US?

REFORM JUDAISM: Got any Kaopectate?

MYSTICISM: What weird s**t!

AGNOSTICISM: What is this s**t?

ATHEISM: I don't believe this s**t!

NIHILISM: Who needs this s**t?

AZTEC: Cut out this s**t!

QUAKER: Let's not fight over this s**t.

FORTEANISM: No s**t??

12-STEP: I am powerless to cut the s**t.

VOODOO: Hey, that s**t looks just like you!

NEWAGE: Visualize s**t not happening.

DEISM: s**t just happens.

EXISTENTIALISM: s**t doesn't happen; s**t is.

SECULAR HUMANISM: s**t evolves.

CHRISTIAN SCIENCE: s**t is in your mind.

BUDDHISM: s**t happens, but pay no mind.

SHINTOISM: s**t is everywhere.

HINDUISM: This s**t has happened before.

WICCA: Mix this s**t together and make it happen!

HASIDISM: s**t never happens the same way twice.

THEOSOPHY: You don't know half of the s**t that happens.

DIANETICS: Your mother gave you s**t before your were born.

SEVENTH DAY ADVENTIST: No s**t on Saturdays.

JEHOVAH's WITNESSES: No s**t happens until Armageddon.

MOONIES: Only happy s**t really happens.

HOPI: Corn fertilizer happens.

BAHA'I: It's all the same s**t.

STOICISM: This s**t is good for me.

OBJECTIVISM: Our s**t is good for you.

EST: If my s**t bothers you, that's your fault.

REAGANISM: Don't move; the s**t will trickle down.

FASCISM: s**t makes the trains run on time.

CARGO CULT: A barge will come and take all the s**t away.

EMACS: Hold down Control-Meta-Shit.

DISCORDIANISM: Some funny s**t happened to me today.

RASTAFARIANISM: Let's smoke this s**t.

CHARISMATIC: This is not s**t and it doesn't smell bad.

MASONIC: s**t happens, but we can't discuss it during Lodge.

RED CROSS: s**t happens - send money.

s**t is everywhere. So as long as you're stepping in it, show it some respect.

WORLD RELIGIONS PHILOSOPHY AND OTHER THINGS

THE COMPLETE AND UNCENSORED s**t LIST

AGNOSTICISM What is this s**t?

ALTRUISM Want some s**t?

AMISH s**t dost occur.

APATHISM I don't give a s**t.

ATHEISM I don't believe this s**t.

BA'HAI All s**t is truly s**t.

BUDDHISM s**t happens.

BAPTIST FUNDAMENTALISM s**t happens because the Bible says so.

CAPITALISM How much will this s**t cost?

CARTESIANISM I s**t, therefore I am.

CATHOLICISM If s**t happens, you deserved it.

CLASSICAL Marxism The workers take all the s**t, but they're gonna dish it back out again.

COMMUNISM It's everybody's s**t.

CONFUCIANISM Confucius say, "s**t happens."

CREATION SCIENCE We have proof that God created all the s**t that happens.

CONTRACT THEORY If we don't agree to form society, everything will go to s**t.

DADISM Your mom knows her s**t.

DARWINISM We came up from s**t.

DESCARTES I s**t therefore I am.

DIANETICS s**t your way to a better life.

DOMINICANS Belive in s**t, or we'll boil you in it.

DYSLEXIANISM Hits shapnep.

DISCORDIANISM This MIGHT be s**t, but is instead a fuzzy 1955 Mustang.

Logical-Positivism s**t = S+H+I+T

MARINES It's not just s**t, it's an adventure.

MCCARTHYISM Are you now, or have you ever been, s**t?

MENNONITE None of this modern s**t now.

MOMISM You'll eat this s**t and like it!

MORMONISM Your s**t is s**t, but our s**t is the ONE TRUE s**t.

MURPHISM s**t always happens at the worst possible time and place.

NARCISSISM My s**t don't stink.

NIETSCHE If you're not Ubermenschen, you're not s**t.

NIHILISM Everything is s**t.

NIXONISM s**t didn't happen, and if it did, I don't know anything about it.

Nonsequiturism Route 176 goes south.

Objectivism (Ann Rand) s**t is s**t.

PAGANISM s**t happens. And is a part of nature.

PANGLOSSISM This is the best of all possible s**ts.

PLATONISM There is an ideal s**t, of which all the s**t that happens is but an imperfect image.

Protestantism Let s**t happen to someone else.

RASTAFARIAN s**t happens, but if it's all right with Jah, it's all right with me.

ROBINISM (tv) Holy s**t Batman!

RUSSEAU Only natural s**t is worth s**t.

Rastafarianism "Let's smoke this s**t."

SHINTO s**t is everywhere. So as long as you're stepping in it, show it some respect.

SKINNERISM If eat then s**t.

SOLIPSISM All this s**t is a creation of my imagination.

SOLIPSISM The only thing I can be sure of is that my s**t happens.

SPOONERISM Hit shappens.

STALINISM The state treats you like s**t.

SUBGENIUS Bob happens -- SO GIVE ME SOME SLACK!

SURREALISM s**t is shiny and shaped like a buick.

Scientific-Creationism s**t happens all at once

Secular-Humanism s**t happens, but there's a rational explanation.

TAOISM The s**t that happens is not the true s**t.

THE-FORCE Do not be swayed by the Dark Side of the s**t.

TV-Evangelism you need our s**t, but it'll cost you.

UNITARIANISM There's only one s**t, but you can have it happen any way you want.

Utilitarianism Do that which generates the greatest s**t for the greatest number.

VANDALISM I'm gonna wreck this s**t!

VOODOOISM s**t doesn't just happen - somebody dumped it on you

Xeno's paradox It's logically impossible for s**t to happen.

YUPPIEISM It's my s**t! All mine!

ZEN What is the sound of s**t happening?

COMPARATIVE ANALYSIS OF WORLD RELIGIOUS PHILOSOPHIES

TAOISM s**t Happens

CONFUCIANISM Confucius says, "s**t Happens."

ZEN What is the sound of s**t happening?

YOGA There's a full lotus s**t happening.

TRANSCENDENTAL MEDITATION s**t. s**t. s**t. s**t. s**t. s**t.......

HINDUISM This s**t has happened before.

ISLAM If s**t happens, it is the will of Allah.

CATHOLICISM If s**t happens, you deserve it.

FUNDAMENTALISM If s**t happens, they deserve it.

PROTESTANTISM Let s**t happen to someone else.

EPISCOPALIANISM When s**t happens, make it tasteful.

JUDAISM Why does s**t always happen to US?

MORMONISM s**t's going to happen. Stockpile.

UNITARIANISM Deal with your own s**t happening.

TWELVE STEP PROGRAMS. We're powerless over s**t. Turn s**t over.

ASTROLOGY Uranus transits.

PERESTROIKA We can't control s**t. Let s**t happen.

AGNOSTICISM s**t may or may not be happening; we don't know s**t.

ATHEISM No s**t.

GNOSTICISM Know s**t.

My own list (to be edited in later)...

Taoism s**t happens

Confucianism Confucius say, "s**t happens."

Buddhism If s**t happens, it isn't really s**t.

Zen What is the sound of s**t happening?

Hinduism This s**t happened before.

Islam If s**t happens, it is the will of Allah.

Islam If s**t happens, take a hostage.

Protestantism Let s**t happen to someone else.

Protestantism s**t won't happen if I work harder.

Catholicism If s**t happens, you deserve it.

Judaism Why does this s**t always happen to us?

Atheism I don't believe this s**t

Agnosticism What is this s**t?

Unitarian What is this s**t?

Hare Krishna s**t happens rama rama ding ding.

7th Day Adventist s**t happens on Saturdays.

Jehovah's Witness Knock, knock, "s**t happens."

Mormon s**t happens again & again & again.

Rastafarianism Let's smoke this s**t!

# Taoism: s**t happens.
# Confucianism: Confucius say, "s**t happens."
# Buddhism: If s**t happens, it isn't really s**t.
# Zen Buddhism: s**t is, and is not.
# Zen Buddhism #2: What is the sound of s**t happening?
# Hinduism: This s**t has happened before.
# Islam: If s**t happens, it is the will of Allah.
# Islam #2: If s**t happens, kill the person responsible.
# Islam #3: If s**t happens, blame Israel.
# Catholicism: If s**t happens, you deserve it.
# Protestantism: Let s**t happen to someone else.
# Presbyterian: This s**t was bound to happen.
# Episcopalian: It's not so bad if s**t happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
# Methodist: It's not so bad if s**t happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it.
# Congregationalist: s**t that happens to one person is just as good as s**t that happens to another.
# Unitarian: s**t that happens to one person is just as bad as s**t that happens to another.
# Lutheran: If s**t happens, don't talk about it.
# Fundamentalism: If s**t happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again. (Amen!)
# Fundamentalism #2: If s**t happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
# Fundamentalism #3: s**t must be born again.
# Judaism: Why does this s**t always happen to us?
# Calvinism: s**t happens because you don't work.
# Seventh Day Adventism: No s**t shall happen on Saturday.
# Creationism: God made all s**t.
# Secular Humanism: s**t evolves.
# Christian Science: When s**t happens, don't call a doctor - pray!
# Christian Science #2: s**t happening is all in your mind.
# Unitarianism: Come let us reason together about this s**t.
# Quakers: Let us not fight over this s**t.
# Utopianism: This s**t does not stink.
# Darwinism: This s**t was once food.
# Capitalism: That's MY s**t.
# Communism: It's everybody's s**t.
# Feminism: Men are s**t.
# Chauvinism: We may be s**t, but you can't live without us...
# Commercialism: Let's package this s**t.
# Impressionism: From a distance, s**t looks like a garden.
# Idolism: Let's bronze this s**t.
# Existentialism: s**t doesn't happen; s**t IS.
# Existentialism #2: What is s**t, anyway?
# Stoicism: This s**t is good for me.
# Hedonism: There is nothing like a good s**t happening!
# Mormonism: God sent us this s**t.
# Mormonism #2: This s**t is going to happen again.
# Wiccan: An it harm none, let s**t happen.
# Scientology: If s**t happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
# Jehovah's Witnesses: >Knock< >Knock< s**t happens.
# Jehovah's Witnesses #2: May we have a moment of your time to show you some of our s**t?
# Jehovah's Witnesses #3: s**t has been prophesied and is imminent; only the righteous shall survive its happening.
# Moonies: Only really happy s**t happens.
# Hare Krishna: s**t happens, rama rama.
# Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this s**t!
# Zoroastrianism: s**t happens half on the time.
# Church of SubGenius: BoB s**ts.
# Practical: Deal with s**t one day at a time.
# Agnostic: s**t might have happened; then again, maybe not.
# Agnostic #2: Did someone s**t?
# Agnostic #3: What is this s**t?
# Satanism: SNEPPAH TIHS.
# Atheism: What s**t?
# Atheism #2: I can't believe this s**t!
# Nihilism: No s**t.

# And of course we must add...Alcoholics Anonymous: s**t happens-one day at a time!

What's the Scientology viewpoint on s*it?

SCIENTOLOGY: sh** happens if you're on our sh** list.
# Scientology: If sh** happens, see "Dianetics", p.157.
DIANETICS: Your mother gave you sh** before your were born.
DIANETICS sh** your way to a better life.

I wonder if the word sh** is related to to the word Shaitan(shaytan) as this is also where we derive the name satan from what I have read. Perhaps this is why it has been considered a curse word.

How did this thread turn into this sh**?

rofl, did it actually start somewhere better?