Would you date a feminist?

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A healthy relationship is when positive attributes are accentuated, and negative traits are sublimated.

If somebody is better at paying the bills, and is responsible with money (whether man or woman), that person should be the "boss" of that.

If somebody is better at cleaning the house, that person should be the "boss" of that.

Even if they're the "boss" of those, though, they should never act like a "boss."

Instead, at all times, each partner should respect the other as an adult.

due to a 20 point IQ difference, i'm better at almost everything. he insists that i do the automobile driving. i insist that i do the cooking. he cleans and does the checkbook to balance things out. neither one of us is the boss of anything. if caution or people skills is called for, he usually prevails. if logic or health info is called for, we usually do it my way.

Sometimes wives lead husbands (or having the upper hand) without even knowing it - sometimes the opposite.

The natural reaction would be "no I don't do that!".

What witburfoce is talking about is an ideal egalitarian relationship, for that to happen both should be earning their own money, both should be having close to near capabilities.
While AR and kraftie are talking about more common models: specific roles.

Correct me If I am mistaken cathylynn, but aren't you a housewife? Or are you a working partner?

^
I seem to remember she's a retired doctor.



A good relationship finds a balance, keeping score on everything is in my experience a sign that the balance went to hell. Pushing models on people instead of allowing them to do what they're naturally good at always ends in disaster.

I'm baffled by all this money/providing talk. I've always been dead set against marrying a woman who wants to stay home and even decades ago this didn't limit my choices significantly. Most economies in Europe are built around couples that work, is it really so easy in the US to live on a single income? Are really most women incapable or unwilling of financial independence or so eager to give it up?

I'm genuinely confused about this.

^^ The US is much wealthier than any other Economy in the world.

I've heard if UK was a US state, it would be one of the poorest states economically.

^
I don't know from which country you are.

The US is slightly lower in Women in work labor than other Europeans countries, not much different tho.

http://data.worldbank.org/indicator/SL.TLF.TOTL.FE.ZS
http://data.worldbank.org/indicator/SL. ... isplay=map

You can clearly see a correlation between % of women at work and religiosity of the country (India, Saudi Arabia and most Arab countries have it low...Turkey and Indonesia have it really higher than other Muslim countries, Albania, even tho it's considered a Muslim country (well, they're very secular tho) have it even higher than Turkey/indonesia).

But that would even change dramatically in the next generations I guess (not in Saudi Arabia perhaps), for example where I live, most women (even the married ones) around my age do work, while most of my mother's age are housewives - stats above include all ages. In fact, almost only working couples can afford getting married nowadays. I think this is true for India too, I have dealt with an IT Indian company before and there were plenty of young Indian women.

f**k No! sorry but every one of them I've ever met is a freaking b*tch. I give people benefit of the doubt but I have to admit after the past couple days I am a little bit biased due to one who defines them self as such.

Don't go there, Face of Boo - applying a label to someone who just doesn't want it. Not something I'd expect out of you.

I already said this in an earlier post in this thread - if there's anything I (and i'm sure others) dislike more than a Feminist, it's a person who forces labels onto other people without their consent.

I am pro-equality but am by no means a Feminist.

In fact, if you actually read my posts in this thread, I come across as very anti-feminist (I'm not, but just arguing how could I be Feminist when I find it so hard to get along with any of them, as I share none of their views - I share almost none of the views of Feminism, except for equality.)

"Well why aren't the ones who call themselves feminist pro-equality than...by pro equality I mean choice. Like so this chick wants to be totally independent not at all rely on her husband for finances...whatever doesn't mean you impose it on every other woman and her S.O. Me and my boyfriend will have to pool together resources to get and keep a place anyways so neither one of us is entirely supporting the other anyways not that it's any of her business."

I'm very happy someone as rational and wise such as yourself Sweetleaf agrees with me on this one.

I understand you're ranting about someone who has made you angry and upset, but your actual general message I agree with.

Like I said in an earlier post in this thread, every Feminist my age I have tried to date has imposed their Feminist ideals into the relationship.

I am a more traditionally masculine male and want equality, but with the Feminist's I have dated, it's 'their way or the highway'.

A relationship where both people can discuss and negotiate what they want and how to sort out issues and such is waht I'm interested in...it's called equality, something the feminist's I've dated, befriended or known in real life and 75% of the one's I've known online, don't seem to want.

I went there again!

I hate to be considered a Feminist, Boo, not just for my sake but for the sake of Feminist's - I make them look bad.

@Boo (I'll stop quoting as I'm bloody tired of counting palm-trees)

I'm sure you're right on that, but there's quite a stretch between "I want my partner to have a job" and "I want a partner who makes enough to support himself, me and a bunch of kids".

I can't throw stones myself, since even 30 years ago starting a family with a woman who doesn't want to work was a complete deal breaker for me.