The "Black Hole" of woke....

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TwilightPrincess
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30 Aug 2022, 3:31 pm

League_Girl wrote:

Twilightprincess wrote:

League_Girl wrote:

Twilightprincess wrote:

itscomplicated wrote:

if theres so many pronouns around it is asking a lot for everyone to remember them all .

I don’t consider it much of a problem. People are expected to remember all sorts of things, such as names.

People do have name tags too. Even our classes used them and we all had signs on our desks with our names.

It can help at first, but teachers should be able to remember all their kids names after about a week. I know the names of lots of kids in my school.

It's not for the teachers, it's also for other students too and those who have a hard time remembering names which is normal for ASD.

Pronouns are not as difficult to remember as names. There’s less variation. I’m not saying mistakes won’t happen. I’m saying that people should try because most are more than capable of remembering pronouns if they are also capable of remembering other pieces of information.

I think people should care enough to try.

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League_Girl
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30 Aug 2022, 3:47 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:

I find it difficult to remember so I have to constantly check bios for pronouns and if I can't find any, I refer them as their username or OP. It's great how everyone puts gender in their profile if it matters that much to them.

In real life it's hard to remember too if they don't look their gender they identify as and are they them or her or he or doesn't matter . Some people go by either pronouns. If soneone is trans and they had transitioned and are passing now, not hard for me to remember. I can look at them know their pronouns already like with cis people.

I would just explain I have a hard time remembering due to my disability so they wouldn't think I am purposly not remembering if I ask or trying to avoid misgendering them. If I don't see them often or will never see them again, there is no way I may remember. It's the same with names or what people look like. It doesn't mean I am not trying. Heck it's the same with directions too and my boss used to get mad at me for not remembering it months later after he showed me once. If it's not in my routine, I won't remember it. Apparently NTs don't have this issue.

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Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed and ASD lv 1.

Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.

Last edited by League_Girl on 30 Aug 2022, 3:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Nades
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30 Aug 2022, 3:47 pm

I can't be bothered remembering pronouns. Never been asked to remember one and even if I will probably forget along with them being trivial anyway.

TwilightPrincess
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30 Aug 2022, 3:51 pm

Nades wrote:

I can't be bothered remembering pronouns. Never been asked to remember one and even if I will probably forget along with them being trivial anyway.

Maybe they are trivial to you.

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League_Girl
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30 Aug 2022, 3:59 pm

Quote:

I’m on the spectrum and can remember pronouns.

Good for you. Doesn't mean others will remember them fast enough as you. It takes a while for things to sink into my brain and it's frustrating when people don't understand nor even try to when I try to explain it or when other ASD people don't get it either because they expect everyone to be the same as them. Maybe it's their own autism that makes them unable to understand because they think all others with it are the same as them. And this isn't just with pronouns.

Someone deleted their post while i was responding so I won't say who it was. But I felt this was important for me to say this for everyone to read.

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Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed and ASD lv 1.

Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.

League_Girl
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30 Aug 2022, 4:01 pm

Sometimes I think I have another condition that isn't discovered yet.

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Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed and ASD lv 1.

Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.

Nades
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30 Aug 2022, 4:03 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:

Nades wrote:

I can't be bothered remembering pronouns. Never been asked to remember one and even if I will probably forget along with them being trivial anyway.

Maybe they are trivial to you.

Honestly. They are trivial to me.

I have a hard time remembering names as it is so pronouns are just off the table for me.

League_Girl
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30 Aug 2022, 4:18 pm

Nades wrote:

Twilightprincess wrote:

Nades wrote:

I can't be bothered remembering pronouns. Never been asked to remember one and even if I will probably forget along with them being trivial anyway.

Maybe they are trivial to you.

Honestly. They are trivial to me.

I have a hard time remembering names as it is so pronouns are just off the table for me.

I forget who people look like and any other details about them, I forget directions to places so yay Google maps and after a while I don't need to GPS to the same location I am going to. Only thing now I do for my spa clinic I go to is looking up what exit to get off at. I know freeways here so I know what routes to take to get there, now i just need to know Street names and exits. I use landmarks for where I am going like buildings. This was how I found my way around Mazatlan. Plus maps. I am good with direction meaning where I am going. But for specific places, no. It will take longer for me to remember if it's a place I have to go to normally from time to time.

I didnt realize how bad my problem was until I became an adult when I was in my own and everything. But yay GPS. Back when I was chatting to lot of people online, I used to write stuff down about them so I wouldn't offend them with my bad memory. Now I dont do it anymore if we are not friends and don't chat often. I don't make online friends anymore.

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Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed and ASD lv 1.

Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.

Nades
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30 Aug 2022, 4:26 pm

League_Girl wrote:

Nades wrote:

Twilightprincess wrote:

Nades wrote:

I can't be bothered remembering pronouns. Never been asked to remember one and even if I will probably forget along with them being trivial anyway.

Maybe they are trivial to you.

Honestly. They are trivial to me.

I have a hard time remembering names as it is so pronouns are just off the table for me.

I think I have undiagnosed ADHD and my mind regularly races. Someone can tell me their name and a few minutes later it can be pushed completely out of my memory by a spontaneous intrusive thought.

Having to remember a pronoun that are used much less frequently than names with zero help from someone's physical appearance will be hard. It's also got a weird element of entrapment with how heavily frowned upon and batshit insane the occasional person can become for getting it wrong.

A lot of the pronouns also make no sense to me. "They" for example means plural or some faceless, nameless individual. "Zee" also doesn't make sense in the slightest. Both of them would cause me discomfort if I had to use them on an individual.

Assuming I remember their names, yet alone their faces by the end of the day that is.

TwilightPrincess
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30 Aug 2022, 4:41 pm

I have diagnosed autism and ADHD. My memory isn’t that great, either. I still can manage pronouns. Most people go by the old standbys. It’s just about remembering the exceptions among one’s acquaintances.

It should be quite manageable for most people.

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Nades
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30 Aug 2022, 4:45 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:

I never had to use unusual pronouns but if I can't remember a name it's safe to say I can't remember a pronoun that isn't immediately obvious on appearance.

They also make me uncomfortable if a pronoun goes against my own logic. Calling someone a "They" to me feels little different to calling them a "Suitcase". It'll just make me feel awkward and I imagine a lot of others will experience the same thoughts.

League_Girl
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30 Aug 2022, 4:57 pm

Nades wrote:

League_Girl wrote:

Nades wrote:

Twilightprincess wrote:

Nades wrote:

I can't be bothered remembering pronouns. Never been asked to remember one and even if I will probably forget along with them being trivial anyway.

Maybe they are trivial to you.

Honestly. They are trivial to me.

I have a hard time remembering names as it is so pronouns are just off the table for me.

I've never ran into anyone who used crazy pronouns like zer or zeh. Only he, she, or them. I doubt I will be able to remember their pronoun if they didn't use any pronouns 99% of the world population already use.

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Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed and ASD lv 1.

Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.

TwilightPrincess
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30 Aug 2022, 4:57 pm

Nades wrote:

Twilightprincess wrote:

Their comfort is more important here since it concerns their personal identity. You probably wouldn’t like to be regularly called a pronoun you didn’t identify with.

People who are uncomfortable with using a pronoun may want to work on that. I’m a big advocate for personal growth.

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Nades
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30 Aug 2022, 5:01 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:

Nades wrote:

Twilightprincess wrote:

Who's to say that it's personal growth? Who's to say their comfort is more important than mine?

Last edited by Nades on 30 Aug 2022, 5:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.

TwilightPrincess
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30 Aug 2022, 5:01 pm

Quote:

I've never ran into anyone who used crazy pronouns like zer or zeh.

What makes these particular letter combinations “crazy”?

Living languages are fluid. New words are added to the English language all the time.

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League_Girl
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30 Aug 2022, 5:01 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:

Yeah, because you have no issues with it, I must be faking it or not trying hard enough. :roll:

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Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed and ASD lv 1.

Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.

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