What political party are you?

Post Reply New Topic

Hey, Dan. Those were pretty good. I haven't seen them before. I do have one for the Democrats, though. I think most political parties are messed up, but being left-wing this is my bit of self-deprecating humour.

What You Have to Believe to be a Democrat Today:

Government should relax drug laws regardless of the potential for abuse, but should pass new and unConstitutional anti-gun laws because of the potential for abuse.

Every religion should be respected and promoted in public schools the name of diversity, so long as that religion isn't Christianity.

Sexual harassment, groping and drug use are degenerate if you're the governor of California, but it's okay if you're the President of the United States.

Sex education should be required so that teens can make informed choices about sex, but gun education should be banned because it will turn those same teens into maniacal mass-murderers.

Minorities are blameless for the hatred of the racist; women are blameless for the hatred of the rapist; but America is entirely at fault for the hatred of Islamofascists.

We should unquestioningly honor the wishes of our age-old allies, even when said allies no longer act like our allies and have vested economic interests in propping up our enemies.

Michael Moore, Noam Chomsky and Natalie Maines are perfectly qualified to criticize our leadership, but Arnold Schwarzenegger, Charlton Heston, and Dennis Miller are just ignorant political hacks.

"The People" in the First Amendment means The People; "the People" in the Fourth Amendment means The People; "the People" in the Ninth Amendment means The People; "the People" in the Tenth Amendment means The People; but "the People" in the Second Amendment (ratified in 1791) means the National Guard (created by an Act of Congress in 1903).

You support a woman's "right to choose" to kill her unborn child, but don't believe that same woman is competent enough to homeschool the children she bears.

Threatening to boycott Dr. Laura's and Rush Limbaugh's advertisers is exercising Freedom of Speech, but threatening to boycott CBS's "The Reagans" and Liberal actors over their asinine anti-American remarks is censorship and McCarthyist blacklisting.

Those were funny, Bec.

And now I'll make fun of my favorite party.

You might be a Republican if:

• You have Jesus on speed dial.
• You've tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if people were just allowed to keep more of their minimum wage.
• You've ever uttered the phrase, "Why don't we just bomb the sons of b*****s."
• You wonder if donations to the Pentagon are tax-deductable.
• You believe that everyone should have to earn their own living, but that millionaires' kids shouldn't have to pay any taxes on their inheritance.
• You don't think "The Simpsons" is all that funny, but you watch it because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of sense.
• You scream "Dit-dit-ditto" while making love.

I am pretty far to the left on most issues, welfare, gun laws and such but opposed to abortion stem-cells and the death penalty.

Just think of it as a hundreth-trimester abortion.

Like a few other people, I'm a pretty firm republican for the most part. Then again I'm one of those people who votes that way for what I feel are practical secular reasons. I am left in some social ways (sexuality isn't a thing that bothers me, I also think marijuana should have been legal years ago) but as you can see it's the stuff where I think group-think and superstition has infringed on the overall moral landscape where certain issues that get black-tagged are neither here nor there on their own. I know being republican runs directly up against that in some ways but when I resoundingly believe in their other goals as well as living in a bicameral system. I've gotta go with what I feel is the greatest long-term good for the greatest many, even if I end up feeling like part of that trampled minority in some ways which utilitarian thinking can cause.

As for Bush though, I won't get into too many specifics because I know that this issue is for most people a choice of what they will or won't choose to believe. Personally, I voted for him twice and I'm still not the least bit ashamed of doing it, especially when thinking of the alternatives. Mad props to Condaleeza Rice as well on becomming Secretary of State. I get the impression that she could handle the position as well as Powell did and then some.

Libertarian.

officialy socialist, but for voting sakes, its libertarian
A

I am a Liberarian. It's funny because in goverment class I got along with the teacher and we would take turns picking kids apart and I did it without getting on "the soap box" once. There was a kid in my class that was conservitive for the sake of being conservitive and took everything to an extreme. Half way through the first term he got out of his seat and tried to fight me. He lost the debate of the minds and the debate of the fists. Then there was a girl that thought George Bush was "hot" and I called her "The poster child for Social Darwinism" and she thought it was a compliment. When the class came to an end at the end of the first semester, we were "Tag Teaming" students that tried to pretend like they knew what they were talking about.

Democratic

On most subjects in poltics, Bush (and Darth Vader, for that matter) is liberal compared to me. I only vote Republican or occasionally Libertarian when the Republicans have a really crappy canidate for a local office.

I am not really Democratic. I'm just anything but Republican!

Which clearly doesn't give me a multitude of choice in a two party system.

"But I think the Republican party should be disbanded. They don't know how to party anyways."

By the by, Republicans are now screwing over (not to put too fine a point on it) the people who elected them. Social Security is going down the tubes FASTER in my state (Missouri) now that the arshole, Governor Matt Blunt, has been elected. He is cutting mental health/disability programs left and right. Cutting poor peoples' insurance. While funny enough, the Missouri House (vastly Republican, as pretty much in most places in the US these days) voted down the Democratic move to lower their OWN insurance benefits by 20% and instead voted in the opposite direction, to raise their own benefits by 20%.

I have always despised even hearing about politics. But I just lost my insurance and food stamps thank you very much. And am seriously considering moving to the UK in the near future.

By and large, my opinion of Republicans is less than what I would scrape off my shoe... and just let that image suffice.

BRITISH

Labour. My local MP was one of the ones to object to Iraq and he is Labour. Besides that, 1 mistake for several good ideas isn't too bad, even though it was 1 hell of a mistake!

Tecnicly im British so i dont no a lot about American politics but if the Liberal party has Liberal ideels then Id probably vote for them. Im genrally very left wing.

In British politics, Lib dem.