Do people 'choose' to be gay? LOL

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JakeG
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25 May 2007, 12:12 pm

Sopho wrote:

No, they don't.
But some of you religious people seem to think that they do.
I want to know why this is.

Why do you need the qualifier religeous? Some people think that - religeous and non-religeous people.

For instance, I spoke to a trainee catholic priest who happened to be gay. He said that the church accepted that people were either born gay or not (i.e. they didn't choose) but, the church expected that gay people should remain celibate. Of course this wasn't an issue for him as he would have had to have remained celibate anyway. He didn't even particularly agree with the celibacy for gays thing but as I say, in a practical sense it didn't bother him as he had to remain celibate anyway.

So in other words, many religeons accept that sexuality isn't a choice but they just say that homosexuals have the choice whether or not to remain celibate (which is a seperate issue). Of course, I don't agree with this at all but I still think it is worth noting that it is a different issue to whether people accept that sexuality isn't a choice.

Sopho
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25 May 2007, 1:49 pm

JakeG wrote:

Sopho wrote:

No, they don't.
But some of you religious people seem to think that they do.
I want to know why this is.

Yes, I know not all religious people are homophobic. I also know not all homophobic people are religous; I've met plenty. But this thread was specifically about religious people who believe you choose your sexuilaty. It was in response to a comment made on another thread.

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25 May 2007, 2:58 pm

sigholdaccountlost wrote:

Sopho wrote:

Haha who were the three who voted 'I chose my sexuality'??? :lol:

Nine

I clicked it by accident. I did not choose to be a straight guy who is attracted to chubbier females.

No, people do not choose their sexuality. People are bound to their genes and sexual orientation.

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Ragtime
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25 May 2007, 3:34 pm

jimservo wrote:

Sopho, I think, based on what I know on this that whatever choice you are anyone else might have would most primarily based on genetics. Cultural factors would probably play a role to a certain degree with effecting, but not with everybody or perhaps even anything near a significant minority. But the idea that homosexuals do not exist who are "hard-coded" to be attracted to the same sex seems to me to be pretty solid at this point.

I have said this before, but in terms of sexuality, I view people on a sort of scale. Most men are almost all the way one way, and most women are almost all the way the other way, but there are men and women at various points in between on on the other sides as well.

What he said. I do think some gay people's first sexual attractions are to people of their own gender, even before any decision has been made. So, the answer to your initial question is: yes and no. I think personal choice can influence someone's own attractions. For instance, a woman may not notice a paricular man she works with day-in and day-out, and may never have had any attraction to him. But when he asks her out, she may see him in a "whole different light", as they say, and then start thinking of him "that way". Later, after the relationship progresses, she IS turned on sexually by his close presence, even though that same presence never stirred her before. The difference between the before and after? Her state of mind. It influenced her from feeling asexual toward him to feeling sexually attracted -- one's will CAN strengthen or weaken one's own attraction. For instance, if this woman then find out something horrible about her new boyfriend, her sexual attraction to him will often cease, or dramatically decrease, because she may have decided he's not relationship material after all. From then on, she'll probably experience no significant sexual attraction around him again -- because she objects to him. These fluctuations? All mentally caused, involving her will.

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Last edited by Ragtime on 25 May 2007, 3:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Sopho
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25 May 2007, 3:36 pm

Ragtime wrote:

What would 'influence' someone to turn gay then?

skafather84
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25 May 2007, 4:00 pm

Ragtime wrote:

Some people on WP have said that Aspies should be too logical by nature to be religious. I think that same argument applies to Aspie gays. It's obvious (both by common sense, and by medical evidence) how the sex organs were meant to fit together, and a hyper-logical person would have to see that all the more clearly, I'd think.

aspies aren't always logical. aspies normally have a strong attachment into focusing on certain issues, ideas, and hobbies. a strong focus on faith, illogicality and theology is almost as likely as those who go the atheist route. the only difference is that there's more evidence to support an agnostic approach to life than christianity (which has been proven to be false).

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25 May 2007, 4:05 pm

Kosmonaut wrote:

i know what i like and it isnt cocks up my anus

how do you know? have you done it? there reason why some men like anal sex is because the penetration puts pressure on the prostate...which obviously causes sexual stimulation in some.

and it's not necessarily penetration that gays are attracted to...they're attracted to men. i don't find men attractive myself....i have no problems being around naked men and maintaining composure. if i'm around naked women...it's a little bit harder (no pun intended). it's pretty easy to define but religion messes that up by making people feel guilty and by making a victimless act a sin.

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25 May 2007, 4:10 pm

Ragtime wrote:

It seems to people that this is the case and the cause, by that definition then Sexual Orientation doesn't really exist.

I don't think it is like that at all, women and men on a few ocasions they experiment with the same sex but that does not make them necessarily gay, unless there is an actual physical and emotional attraction, meaning they were born this way.

The physical and emotional attraction that a straight person feels about someone with the opossite sex, works exactly the same way with gay and bisexual people. The reason most straight people don't understand is because of the social stigma, the homophobia, religion, against nature, etc. those things make people deny this, claiming there is not such thing as what? Sexual Orientation?

I don't think anyone can just change that, for example if I can't get women then I would turn to men, do you actually think it actually works that way? Someone has to be born like that, part of their nature.

Some people even link sexual abuse with being gay, as that was that the cause, that is of course, False.

This kind of thinking remains me of the "Refrigetar Mother" thing, blaming parents for their children being autistics. I actually see the relation.

This is my view on this

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25 May 2007, 5:16 pm

Anubis wrote:

sigholdaccountlost wrote:

Sopho wrote:

Haha who were the three who voted 'I chose my sexuality'??? :lol:

Nine

Are you saying I'm not a person? Because I can change my sexuality at will.

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25 May 2007, 5:33 pm

Ragtime wrote:

Anubis wrote:

sigholdaccountlost wrote:

Sopho wrote:

Haha who were the three who voted 'I chose my sexuality'??? :lol:

Nine

Are you saying I'm not a person? Because I can change my sexuality at will.

So you could become gay one day and be straight the next? I don't buy it, you're lying.

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Sopho
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25 May 2007, 5:35 pm

I would like to know how it is possible to be exclusively attracted to women one day, then exclusively attracted to men the next. :roll: I tried that and it never worked for me.

Kosmonaut
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25 May 2007, 6:02 pm

skafather84 wrote:

Kosmonaut wrote:

i know what i like and it isnt cocks up my anus

how do you know? have you done it? there reason why some men like anal sex is because the penetration puts pressure on the prostate...which obviously causes sexual stimulation in some.

yes, when i was at school. i have wanked guys off too but never sucked cock.
it was all done in a non-sexual manner.
im not attracted to men at all, 'cept maybe johnny depp, i would suck his cock but not many other men.

Ragtime
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25 May 2007, 6:03 pm

Anubis wrote:

Ragtime wrote:

Anubis wrote:

sigholdaccountlost wrote:

Sopho wrote:

Haha who were the three who voted 'I chose my sexuality'??? :lol:

Nine

Are you saying I'm not a person? Because I can change my sexuality at will.

So you could become gay one day and be straight the next? I don't buy it, you're lying.

My gosh, you perfectly described it! (And thanks for impugning my character.)

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Ragtime
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25 May 2007, 6:06 pm

Sopho wrote:

I would like to know how it is possible to be exclusively attracted to women one day, then exclusively attracted to men the next. :roll:

I tried that and it never worked for me.

I think I'm a freak in this regard. But I've heard testimonies on WP that have approached this level of self-changability, so maybe it's simply possessed in different levels. :?:

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skafather84
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25 May 2007, 6:07 pm

Kosmonaut wrote:

skafather84 wrote:

Kosmonaut wrote:

i know what i like and it isnt cocks up my anus

how do you know? have you done it? there reason why some men like anal sex is because the penetration puts pressure on the prostate...which obviously causes sexual stimulation in some.

also note that not all gay guys enjoy anal sex.

i know this just because i've asked gay guys directly before about it because, being the curious person i am, i want to know directly from the source. everyone i talked to was always straight (ha) forward and seemed to welcome the questions...guess people never actually ask them and just dictate how they feel for them.

edit: one of the more interesting ones was a christian who was gay. definitely probably one of the few religious people i respected. he saw homosexuality as part of god's design and that people just weren't accepting it yet. he was against gay marriage but that's more for the religious reasons that he believed marriage was for procreation and he obviously wasn't going to be doing that. i could respect that opinion...i wouldn't want such an opinion like that in law (because law is enforced on everyone and personal religious beliefs should never be forced on everyone) but i respect it.

Last edited by skafather84 on 25 May 2007, 6:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Ragtime
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25 May 2007, 6:07 pm

Kosmonaut wrote:

skafather84 wrote:

Kosmonaut wrote:

i know what i like and it isnt cocks up my anus

how do you know? have you done it? there reason why some men like anal sex is because the penetration puts pressure on the prostate...which obviously causes sexual stimulation in some.

That's surprising; I'd think sucking would be the funnest part. I mean, look at those things, they're just made for it!

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