"Groomer" is such a gross word omg

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Recidivist
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12 Oct 2023, 12:45 pm

magz wrote:

"Groomer" as a slur (at least in the LGBT context, where I'm familiar with it) is exactly an accusation of grooming it the meaning we're talking about. The problem are the false accusations and we won't stop them by demanding changes in language of people who don't make them.

^This

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TwilightPrincess
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12 Oct 2023, 12:50 pm

Mona Pereth wrote:

That's why I suggested that it be split into two posts: (1) a much shorter, simpler one, and (2) a slightly longer one containing everything in the current post plus a few more clarifications such as the one I am calling for. People who just need the simplest possible picture would have the option of reading just the first post.

I don’t think we need two posts on grooming taking up space. One is enough. Walrus’s sticky is perfectly adequate for WP.

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12 Oct 2023, 12:52 pm

So that people don't continue to re-litigate points already conceded, please see my post here.

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12 Oct 2023, 1:05 pm

Mona Pereth wrote:

I also agreed with TP that the long post Inappropriate PMs and Grooming on WrongPlanet is already a bit long to the point of being confusing.

I didn’t say that. I said that disclaimers would make it so. I’ve stated that the sticky is fine the way it is.

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12 Oct 2023, 1:07 pm

This is starting to sound an awful like ableism if you ask me.

Me autistic , me thick, me no understand grooming.

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12 Oct 2023, 1:13 pm

Recidivist wrote:

This is starting to sound an awful like ableism if you ask me.

Me autistic , me thick, me no understand grooming.

I could draw pictures! We could have 3 stickies - one with just pictures, one in basic English, and one with as many quotes and citations as possible.

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Mona Pereth
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12 Oct 2023, 1:15 pm

magz wrote:

And how in your opinion making messages longer and more complex is supposed to help them?

My proposal is to split the current long message into two, the first of which would be a much SIMPLER message, and the second of which would address more detailed questions.

I've seen a lot of sites that have both a short intro page and a longer FAQ. This makes the info easier to digest.

magz wrote:

"Groomer" as a slur (at least in the LGBT context, where I'm familiar with it) is exactly an accusation of grooming it the meaning we're talking about.

Actually, it's more than that.

For example, to many anti-gay/anti-trans bigots, "grooming" includes even just briefly mentioning the existence of gay people or trans people in the presence of children, even in what most of us would deem to be an age-appropriate way. Ditto for keeping confidential any disclosure the child might make about their gender identity.

Last edited by Mona Pereth on 12 Oct 2023, 1:23 pm, edited 3 times in total.

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12 Oct 2023, 1:16 pm

TwilightPrincess wrote:

Recidivist wrote:

This is starting to sound an awful like ableism if you ask me.

Me autistic , me thick, me no understand grooming.

I could draw pictures! We could have 3 stickies - one with just pictures, one in basic English, and one with as many quotes and citations as possible.

Me no aloud pittures , me eats them.

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12 Oct 2023, 1:16 pm

:lol:

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12 Oct 2023, 1:17 pm

f*****g hell this site does my head in sometimes

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12 Oct 2023, 1:18 pm

babybird wrote:

f*****g hell this site does my head in sometimes

I have this effect on people, it's a life skill.

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12 Oct 2023, 1:21 pm

I can't talk to you anymore anyway because your stalker doesn't like it :roll:

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12 Oct 2023, 2:26 pm

funeralxempire wrote:

Groomer in right-wing circles seems to include people who help affirm queer kids identities while not including adult men who pursue sexual gratification from minor girls.

That teacher who helped a queer kid to feel less insecure about who they were = groomer.

MAP Walsh, Matt Gaetz, Ted Nugent, etc = not groomers.

Unfortunately right-wingers do that a lot, they hijack vernacular with the intention that much of their audience won't know the right-wing definition and will instead understand what they're saying as though they were using those words like regular people.

MAP Walsh

I'm definitely remembering this one, lol

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12 Oct 2023, 2:36 pm

babybird wrote:

I can't talk to you anymore anyway because your stalker doesn't like it :roll:

I have a stalker

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12 Oct 2023, 5:29 pm

Barchan wrote:

It's basically a slur, at this point. "Groomers." White evangelical types are always clutching their pearls over non-specific "grooming" activities, which, when you press them for more detail it almost always ends up being something racist or homophobic. "Asian groomer gangs", etc.

Usually when you hear a right-winger use that word it's a warning sign that they're about to say something incredibly racist or homophobic. It's always something about drag queens, or Muslims, or this-or-that ethnic minority (notice that it's never straight white evangelical types who get called "groomers" even though p***philia is completely normalized within their communities)

Ugh, "groomer." Honestly I would love it if the whole entire internet could stop using this word. Or maybe have it auto-correct to "gay filipino muslims" since that's usually how that word is meant to be read, lol

True. They dont talk about the English Jamestown colonist John Rolfe as being a "groomer" for persuading the teenage Pocahontas to marry him.

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12 Oct 2023, 6:31 pm

The situation has come to the point where a Los Angeles cottage business has changed its focus from "Dog Grooming" to "Cur Washing".

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