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Would you date a feminist?
Yes 37%  37%  [ 55 ]
No 36%  36%  [ 53 ]
Ima girl 2%  2%  [ 3 ]
Ima girl and still yes 19%  19%  [ 29 ]
I'm a feminist and I am offended by this thread 6%  6%  [ 9 ]
Total votes : 149

cathylynn
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14 Apr 2016, 5:47 pm

what about strong, independent, intelligent, non-whiney feminists?



Outrider
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14 Apr 2016, 6:47 pm

The one's who aren't whiny seem to be (in my experiences) overly-boastful and in-your-face aggressive.

"I am a feminist, I am empowered, I fight for equality, I am strong, independent, and don't need no man to support myself because RAWRR, I fight against the patriarchy" blah blah I don't give a f*ck.

"You don't give a f*ck? How dare you!! ! You are supporting patriarchy! I will NOT ever be silenced by men who think they can tell women what to do! Misogynist!

Though calm, balanced, regular feminists do exist, I am yet to meet one within my own life. Perhaps it's just because I was just in high school, where everyone felt self-centered enough to always be attention-seeking or make a statement on LGBT/Gender equality/etc.

It's kind of like those "I identify as gender neutral androgynous ambigious demi-romantic sapio-pansexual. I prefer to be referred to as the pronouns Xe, Zhe and Yi which are neutral terms inspired by some archaic Greek/Latin/Native American gendering system. I am outside of the gender binary."

I have difficulty taking these people seriously and all those words just make your head-spin.



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14 Apr 2016, 7:33 pm

So I would call myself a feminist but I am an old school feminist not these ones who make claims like 'all sex is rape' which is stupid

My being a feminist is simply wanting to be paid equally for the same amount of work, and sadly in some work places it does happen but it is being improved. I also believe that women, and actually men for that matter, should be able to chose whether to work or be a stay-at-home and not be forced into it through guilt or expectation.

I also believe that as a woman I should be able to life my life without being insulted by people who believe I am obligated to respond to flirting or rude comments. Such as someone calling me names when I said I was uncomfortable when they messaged me asking for naked pictures

I understand people have personal preferences and have no issue with that. All I ask is that you don't assume we are all there new type psycho feminists. If a woman wants to fulfil an old gender role then good for her and if a woman wants to not have children then good for her too.



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14 Apr 2016, 10:09 pm

We don't, at least, not me personally.

I personally am not against generalizations so long as it's clear that it is in your own limited anecdotal experiences, and so long as you predict 'most' and not 'all' of the people you come across will be a certain way.

I'm not opposed to generalizations against men either, so long as it's "In my experiences, most men (not all) are X" because I know it may just be your own experiences and not many other people's, and you are saying most and not all. 'Most' to me implies 75%.

If you as a woman made the generalization 75% of men are stupid, I'd probably actually agree with you there. At least Australian men. If you live in another country though, I find it harder to believe you.

And it is in my limited experiences, that most feminist's I come across can not stand generalizations at all, whatsoever, in any form, and would probably get angry at me just for making this generalization right now about them, or the previous ones I made in my last post.

With that out of the way, I find Feminist's like you alliekit to be rare, at least here in Australia.

Our women here are terrible (many of our men are too, most people are, actually) and it's not just my experiences, but a quick google search will show hundreds of men share negative experiences with Aussie women. Articles after articles are constantly written at the poor stereotypes against Aussie white women.

Some of these men may be misogynistic or unappealing in the first place, but certainly not all.

What the Americans here describe as 'Extremist feminist's' are actually a normal feminist, and everywhere you go in Oz has this fourth-wave Feminist vibe to it. The only places men are safe from being oppressed by women are the country towns and other areas untouched by liberal and progressive cities.

Melbourne is okay due to being Australia's most multi-cultural city, I've heard.



sly279
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15 Apr 2016, 12:53 am

Alliekit wrote:
So I would call myself a feminist but I am an old school feminist not these ones who make claims like 'all sex is rape' which is stupid

My being a feminist is simply wanting to be paid equally for the same amount of work, and sadly in some work places it does happen but it is being improved. I also believe that women, and actually men for that matter, should be able to chose whether to work or be a stay-at-home and not be forced into it through guilt or expectation.

I also believe that as a woman I should be able to life my life without being insulted by people who believe I am obligated to respond to flirting or rude comments. Such as someone calling me names when I said I was uncomfortable when they messaged me asking for naked pictures

I understand people have personal preferences and have no issue with that. All I ask is that you don't assume we are all there new type psycho feminists. If a woman wants to fulfil an old gender role then good for her and if a woman wants to not have children then good for her too.


Rude people are rude. A person rude enough to ask a stranger for nude pictures bein rude to call them names when told no is hardly suprising or connected to feminist or antifeminist

I've been asked for nude pictures by by women before.
All people should be able to live life uninsulted, unfortunately the would is majority a**h****. They don't care if they'll rude, they only care about what benefits them. They hold seats of power and they'll both women and men. They are in control of the world and dictate what happens. Rest of us just have to hold on and hope something good happens and the few good people aren't turned or killed off.



aspiesavant
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15 Apr 2016, 1:53 am

cathylynn wrote:
what about strong, independent, intelligent, non-whiney feminists?


I don't see how (1) being a Feminist and (2) being a strong, independent, intelligent woman are compatible, especially for women well into adulthood.

This is because Feminists typically have a victim complex and blame the imaginary "patriarchy" for everything wrong in their lives, whereas a strong, independent, intelligent woman takes responsibility for her actions and the state her life is in... which is what anyone (Feminist or not) expects of men by default.

Outrider wrote:
I have difficulty taking these people seriously and all those words just make your head-spin.


I totally relate!

Alliekit wrote:
My being a feminist is simply wanting to be paid equally for the same amount of work, and sadly in some work places it does happen but it is being improved.


The ONLY reason that men in average make more money than women, is because men on average do jobs that are more demanding. If we look at how much men and women earn for the exact same work at the exact same company, the wage gap disappears.

Additionally, women have already surpassed men with respect to level of education :

Image

Most people in jail are men :

Image

Social security benefits by type :

Image

Medicare :

Image

Chronically homeless people :

Image

Homicides :

Image

American combat deaths and casualties since the Gulf War :

Image

Suicides in the US :

Image

etc...

Alliekit wrote:
I also believe that women, and actually men for that matter, should be able to chose whether to work or be a stay-at-home and not be forced into it through guilt or expectation.


This is an issue that affects men and women alike, so it's not a gender issue.

Alliekit wrote:
I also believe that as a woman I should be able to life my life without being insulted by people who believe I am obligated to respond to flirting or rude comments. Such as someone calling me names when I said I was uncomfortable when they messaged me asking for naked pictures


Men get rude comments all the time... both from other men and from women. This is especially true online, where social standards are much less clearly defined and relative anonymity implies little to no consequences for rude behavior.

So, again, this is not a gender issue.

Alliekit wrote:
All I ask is that you don't assume we are all there new type psycho feminists.


All I ask is that you look at the data objectively and acknowledge that women are not held backward or discriminated by any means.

Alliekit wrote:
If a woman wants to fulfil an old gender role then good for her and if a woman wants to not have children then good for her too.


When was the last time you heard any man complain about a woman not fulfilling a tradtional gender role or not wanting to have children?



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15 Apr 2016, 1:57 am

TBH, IDK WTF a Feminist is.


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15 Apr 2016, 6:56 am

This topic has veered towards the political; henceforth, I'm moved it to PPR.


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Alliekit
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15 Apr 2016, 8:00 am

I am from england so our data is different from yours but from the pespective of a scientist I admire you backing up your claims with data. However it should be noted that there are more women then men in the world which would skew results and biologically men are more likely to commit violent crimes.

Attitudes between equality has greatly improved I have no doubt, but unfortunately there are those few who are still sexist. A few months ago a well respected professor claimed on the news that female scientists were only worth having in the lab to look at and not to work.

As for the nudes issue I did not realise how some of you had also been objectified by women, which was an oversight on my part. I can't help but thing there are those on both genders who make their genders look bad.

Also I have no love for the feminists who want women to have more rights than men. Perhaps I should call myself an equalist instead of a feminist? Genuine question



CommanderKeen
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15 Apr 2016, 8:13 am

Alliekit wrote:
I am from england so our data is different from yours but from the pespective of a scientist I admire you backing up your claims with data. However it should be noted that there are more women then men in the world which would skew results and biologically men are more likely to commit violent crimes.

Attitudes between equality has greatly improved I have no doubt, but unfortunately there are those few who are still sexist. A few months ago a well respected professor claimed on the news that female scientists were only worth having in the lab to look at and not to work.

As for the nudes issue I did not realise how some of you had also been objectified by women, which was an oversight on my part. I can't help but thing there are those on both genders who make their genders look bad.

Also I have no love for the feminists who want women to have more rights than men. Perhaps I should call myself an equalist instead of a feminist? Genuine question

Egalitarian.



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15 Apr 2016, 8:32 am

Probabaly, yes.

I've always argued if you believe yourself to be an equalist, why not identify as one instead of 'FEMinist'.

If you are a balck person and want racial equality, does it make more sense to identify as a 'racial equality activist' or 'BLACKist/black people rights activist'?

Racial Equality activist, gender equality activist, Activist for gender/sexual orientation diversity (rather than LGBT activist), humanist, these are all neutral terms that imply no preferential treatment or preference of what goals and issues you focus on.

I argue this all the time to Feminist's and always recieve significant backlash, and none of them ever listen to my arguments and will continue to identify as 'FEMinist', which by definition implies a preferrential treatment of women's rightsover the rights of men.

just proof many feminist's really do seem to only worry about women's rights, as they outright refuse to ever adopt a neutral term over a gendered one.

LGBT actvisists don't call it 'gay marriage', they call it 'marriage equality', Martin Luther King called his movement the 'Civil Rights Movement', not the 'Blackist/black rights movement', so why is it so out there of an idea for a woman who actually wants equality to call herself a Gender Equality Activist, just like a man who wants equality should (I also see MEN's rights activist consider themselves to be fighting for 'equality' when the first two words do no imply that.).



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15 Apr 2016, 9:11 am

Outrider wrote:
(I also see MEN's rights activist consider themselves to be fighting for 'equality' when the first two words do no imply that.).


I don't follow your logic here. Seems that the MRAs are quite straightforward when it comes to the specific legal equalities they're fighting for. Does being an MRA prevent you from being an egalitarian?

It seems like a bit of a stretch to take two out of the three words out of context - after all, the label is describing an action: advocacy of or activism for men's rights. One might describe an egalitarian who advocates for the rights of both sexes as being both an MRA and a WRA - the two are not mutually exclusive.

Otherwise, I agree with your post in essence. I remain, however, more concerned with the actions and behaviours of individuals than I am by their self-defined identifiers.



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15 Apr 2016, 10:08 am

It would almost certainly kill the date or potential for a date if she asked me if I was a Feminist. There are different kinds of feminist, but anyone who would ask me if I was one I would be extremely wary of. Such a question I associate more with the phrase "dropped the F-Bomb" than an actual F-Bomb. "The date was going well, then she dropped the F-Bomb. She asked me if I was a Feminist." Not the word feminist though. Just this one specific circumstance. Starts all sorts of alarm bells ringing.

I doubt there are many women who want to date a sexist. Questions testing me to see if I was one probably wouldn't put me off. Even if I was straight out asked if I was a sexist, that probably wouldn't bother me. But the people who think you're either a Feminist or a sexist, we're not compatible. The dictionary definition of feminist matches up with me. But anyone feeling the need to identify as a Feminist never seems to match up with the dictionary definition. We don't have labels that mean "not a murderer" or "not a thief", etc. If we did, I expect thieves and murderers would try to make those labels stick to them. And I think I just had an epiphany.



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15 Apr 2016, 11:10 am

Alliekit wrote:
I am from england so our data is different from yours


I'm from the EU myself. I'm pretty sure the trends are the same for the EU. It's just easier to find US-based data.

Alliekit wrote:
from the pespective of a scientist I admire you backing up your claims with data.


Thanks. :D

Alliekit wrote:
However it should be noted that there are more women then men in the world which would skew results


... very very slightly.

Alliekit wrote:
biologically men are more likely to commit violent crimes.


Generally speaking, one can make the following observations :
* Autistic men are less average than Autistic women.
* Autistic women are less average than Neurotypical men.
* Neurotypical men are less average than Neurotypical women.

When I say that a particular group is "less average" than another, it means that members of that group are more commonly found on the outliers of any Bell curve for various intelligence traits, personality traits, physical traits, etc. For example, it means that neurotypical women are least likely to be either intellectually gifted or intellectually disabled, whereas Autistic men are more likely to be either of both.

Alliekit wrote:
Attitudes between equality has greatly improved I have no doubt, but unfortunately there are those few who are still sexist. A few months ago a well respected professor claimed on the news that female scientists were only worth having in the lab to look at and not to work.


My girlfriend has a PhD in bio-sciences. Most of her colleagues are female.
I have a bachelor in IT. Most of my colleagues are male.

I don't see a problem with that. Neurotypical women tend to favor life sciences, law and other fields that focus on living creatures. Autistic men tend to favor IT, engineering and other fields with a strong abstract, mathematical foundation. Neurotypical men and Autistic women are typically somewhere in between. This is due to biological differences and any attempt to overcome those differences benefit neither men nor women and neither Autistic people nor Neurotypical people.

Alliekit wrote:
As for the nudes issue I did not realise how some of you had also been objectified by women, which was an oversight on my part. I can't help but thing there are those on both genders who make their genders look bad.


The kind of abuse men impose on women tends to differ from the kind of abuse women impose on men... again due to biological differences. What's equal in both genders, however, is that members of both genders can be perpetrators and victims.

We as Autistic people are both more vulnerable and more exposed to the dark side of humanity, especially that of the gender we are attracted to. It would be wrong to draw the conclusion that all men, all women or all people are bad, though... although it may be tempting for many of us to start thinking like that.

Alliekit wrote:
Also I have no love for the feminists who want women to have more rights than men. Perhaps I should call myself an equalist instead of a feminist?


If you believe in egalitarianism, you could call yourself an egalitarian.
If you believe in humanism, you could call yourself a humanist.
etc.

Whichever label is the best match, depends on whatever best covers the load. I don't know what label would suit you best, as I know nothing about how. However, in my opinion (and that of many others), Feminism is just socially accepted anti-male sexism therefore not a proper label for someone who supports egalitarian principles.

Finally, let me illustrate with the following image why I believe "equality" is a flawed notion :

Image



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15 Apr 2016, 12:43 pm

Outrider wrote:
Probabaly, yes.

I've always argued if you believe yourself to be an equalist, why not identify as one instead of 'FEMinist'.

If you are a balck person and want racial equality, does it make more sense to identify as a 'racial equality activist' or 'BLACKist/black people rights activist'?

Racial Equality activist, gender equality activist, Activist for gender/sexual orientation diversity (rather than LGBT activist), humanist, these are all neutral terms that imply no preferential treatment or preference of what goals and issues you focus on.

I argue this all the time to Feminist's and always recieve significant backlash, and none of them ever listen to my arguments and will continue to identify as 'FEMinist', which by definition implies a preferrential treatment of women's rightsover the rights of men.

just proof many feminist's really do seem to only worry about women's rights, as they outright refuse to ever adopt a neutral term over a gendered one.

LGBT actvisists don't call it 'gay marriage', they call it 'marriage equality', Martin Luther King called his movement the 'Civil Rights Movement', not the 'Blackist/black rights movement', so why is it so out there of an idea for a woman who actually wants equality to call herself a Gender Equality Activist, just like a man who wants equality should (I also see MEN's rights activist consider themselves to be fighting for 'equality' when the first two words do no imply that.).


Good points.


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16 Apr 2016, 3:02 pm

:lol: Of course this isnt true, the feminist will still expect the guy to pay the bill.


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