The "Black Hole" of woke....

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I can't claim to perfect at following all the changing norms. I'm not. I put my foot in my mouth in real life quite a lot; I get confused in live interactions, relying on instinct and habits that don't always work well. I hate finding out I've offended or hurt someone. My own daughter was afraid to share her truth with me for several years (she is LGBTQ), and I hate that I unknowingly created that environment. None of us can do better than our best. My daughter and I have talked it all out, and she understands better now why I said some of the things I did, and has come to realize that patience and understanding has to go both ways, and that one should never be afraid to solicit a conversation, a reality she is working to spread through her own networks. The key remains to actually care, to want to do right by different people. Every interaction has to be a two way street, never putting the onus entirely on the other person.

So, yeah, I want a better world for my daughter. I'm glad norms have changed since my youth. I don't want her to live in a world that can't accept her as she is. So, yes, I'm going to be stubborn advocating for things that should be easy to change, that don't cost the rest of us. Because, in reality, it costs me nothing to address another person the way they want to addressed, while it makes a world of difference to them.

Speaking of assuming bad intentions, when I lived in Montana, I worked at a hotel and another woman worked there and she was from Taiwan. We got along well, she spoke great English but sometimes I had difficulty understanding her if she didn't say words correctly.

Then one day she told our boss I said she didn't speak good English. This was a lie because this never happened. But my boss talked to me about it and I said I never said that. I go home and talk to my mom because I was very upset about it. My mom had me believe it was a misunderstanding and she may have mistranslated what I said. I go back to work and talk to my boss and she was like "it's possible it might have happened."

I move on thinking it was over. But it happens again but this time it was something else regarding her language. I decide to not ever talk to her again. Then she complains about me again weeks later and I think she is lying about me. I forget what her complaints were but I remember she just got mad at me one day for not understanding her direction saying something about her English not being good. It came out of nowhere. I simply couldn't learn some of her words fastce enough because there were certain things she couldn't say in English so I had difficulty understanding her so I would ask and she started to get mad because I was repeating her directions and asking what something is she is saying.

I do repeat directions I'm told and will repeat exact words I hear trying to understand it. But sadly some immigrants will think you're bring xenophobic because of your disability and it is difficult for me to understand different accents and if words are said different, I won't understand it so I will ask and repeat to try and understand so they can help me. But eventually this employee quit because she didn't agree with something at work with our boss. I don't know if it was because of me.


I have an aspie friend with hearing loss so heavy accents are hard for him too. For me it might be auditory processing issues that make it difficult for me. I often ask "what?" When I don't understand.

I am sure there are people who purposly don't understand or repeat their words to mock them because they think if you are going to be in our country, speak English right. But I have pissed some immigrants off for not understanding them but when they actually started writing down words they couldn't say, I read it and understood so that showed I wasn't purposly being obtuse.

People say you get used to accents so it gets easier. Not for me. I still have troubles. I still can't understand a woman at my job despite knowing her for ten years. I still haven't figured her accent out and I think she gave up on me. I also shop at the local convenient store near my work and I still have difficulty understanding the Vietnamese guy sometimes but he kept talking to me and I eventually learned words he is saying in English I ask "what?" a lot less often. It takes patience and lot of people are not patient with me.

What's amazing is those shouting loudest about trans will probably never meet one in their life

Remember folks, Mcarthy did the same when he invoked reds under the bed. The reality is was communism started dying the same time Josef Stalin was in his deathbed in the early 1950s. But the bogeyman remains with us in 2022.

Some young women don’t mind being called “sweetheart.”

I don’t mind being called “sweetheart.”

But if a person minds being called “sweetheart,” then I won’t call her “sweetheart.”

I believe people should be in an “educating” mode, rather than a constantly confrontational mode, looking for offense when none is intended.

Not complaining =/= Don't mind.

I have a sense about these things….and I’m almost always right.

If I’m not….then I’m very apologetic. It’s very rare that I’m wrong. And how do I know? I would know if she furrows her brow or something, or tries to be diplomatic.

I don’t do it all that often. And usually it’s amongst people I’ve known for years.

I’m called “sweetheart” all the time. I don’t get into a conniption fit over it.

Sometimes, people take things way too seriously. The quality of living is going down owing to having to walk on eggshells all the time.

I’m not out here just to offend people. I hate offending people.