15 Oct 2021, 8:00 am
15 Oct 2021, 8:32 am
15 Oct 2021, 10:19 am
funeralxempire
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Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 34,219
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15 Oct 2021, 11:13 am
16 Oct 2021, 4:12 am
16 Oct 2021, 6:41 am
We all know at least one... 
16 Oct 2021, 6:57 am
Maycontainthunder approves.
funeralxempire
Veteran
Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 34,219
Location: Right over your left shoulder
16 Oct 2021, 8:13 pm
17 Oct 2021, 7:56 am
funeralxempire
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Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 34,219
Location: Right over your left shoulder
17 Oct 2021, 4:38 pm
auntblabby
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Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 115,227
Location: the island of defective toy santas
17 Oct 2021, 11:25 pm
18 Oct 2021, 5:20 am
https://babylonbee.com/news/instead-of- ... g-pronouns
Instead Of Kryptonite, New LGBTQ+ Superman Will Be Crippled By Anyone Using Wrong Pronouns
BURBANK, CA—The brilliant and courageous writers at DC Comics have announced that Superman is now gay, and his pronouns are they/them as he is also non-binary. Now, instead of Kryptonite, he will be rendered completely powerless by anyone who addresses him using the wrong pronouns.
"I'll finally defeat Superman! He's such a liberal snowflake!" says right-wing transphobe Lex Luthor to reporters in the latest issue.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" cries gay Superman in response as he withers to the ground in shrieks of agony. "I'm non-binary! It should be 'THEY is such a snowflake!' EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
Writers confirmed that gay Superman will gay-save the world and gay-stop hate crimes with his gay superpowers. He will be completely impervious to Kryptonite but will be powerless against right-wing talk show hosts and trans-exclusionary radical feminist authors. First and foremost, he will be very, very gay.
"We are so proud to break new ground with this stunning, brave, totally expected, and culturally fashionable change to the Superman character," said writer Tom Taylor. "We look forward to selling dozens and dozens of copies."
18 Oct 2021, 5:33 am
18 Oct 2021, 7:43 am
funeralxempire
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Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 34,219
Location: Right over your left shoulder
18 Oct 2021, 9:37 am
Karma
19 Oct 2021, 4:18 am
https://babylonbee.com/news/hospital-fl ... hotel-room
Flamethrower Crew Arrives To Disinfect Bill Clinton’s Hospital Room
IRVINE, CA—With former President Bill Clinton released from the hospital after a serious infection, hospital flamethrower crews have arrived on site to disinfect his hotel room.
"This is just our standard procedure whenever Bill Clinton visits a hospital, but we've never seen anything like this," said pyro-disinfection Team Leader Chet Cordray. "He had every infection in the book. Three of our staff got chlamydia just walking into the room."
"We have no choice but to torch the entire room before the deadly infections spread and threaten the rest of the world's populations."
As soon as he finished speaking, an oozing cluster of infection sprouted legs and screeched a hellish screech as it charged the team.
"KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!" cried Cordray as he engaged his flamethrower. "DIE, INFERNAL CREATURE!"
After a 30-minute sustained burn in the room, sources are reporting that the repulsive cocktail of infections has been contained—for now.
(UPDATE: Nevermind, they had to burn down the whole hospital.)
