Opinion on chivalry?

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All that I know of TRUE chivalry can be found at This Website

It is only demeaning if it's done because there is a widespread assumption that women are unable to stand up because of inherant weakness. Your idea of "better treatment" isn't at all actually better, it's simply a different type of politeness.

Puddingmouse, I wasn't trying to say anything bad about people who are androgynous. Not at all. I was talking about women who feel that they must squealch any bit of feminity because it's perceived as "weak".

I'm 48 and when I was young, it was back during the "women's lib" days, as we called it then. Women were advancing in the workplace much more rapidly than ever before and lots of glass ceilings were being broken. My mother was one of those who broke one. I'm very proud of her. She was one of the first women who was able to advance past "head nurse" or "unit supervisor" and was actually in hospital administration. There were lots of women moving up in the workforce back then and while some women were the same as they always were, others went in the complete opposite direction and seemed to try to dress and act as much like men as possible. One of my mothers friends, Miss Margaret did that. I remember asking her why she started wearing man tailored suits and cut her hair and stopped wearing makeup and she said it was because she wanted to be taken seriously. My mothers only concession to the whole thing was that she started using Ms instead of Mrs, which is sort of a moot point down here because we pronounce both Mrs and Miss exactly like Ms (Mizz).

Many of the women back then actually did go over the top and were "in your face" about things like having doors opened for them, or chairs held for them, etc. They grew up understanding that is was simple manners, and even still understood it, but they wanted it to be a sign of their liberation. I'm not guessing at this, it was actually discussed. That sort of backlash lasted quite a while, then just died out as people got used to the idea that women and men can do pretty much the same job, and life went on as normal. No discrimination based on sex, and no bitchy screaming when somebody accidentally says "mailman" instead of "postal carrier".

My point is, I lived through those times and even then I could see that when you pick ridiculous gestures to harp on, it just waters down your entire platform and it makes you seem like some way out fanatic who nobody is going to take seriously.

It's not special treatment, it's manners.

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I'm giving it another shot. We will see.
My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA.

The link to the forum is http://www.rightplanet.proboards.com

"It's not special treatment, it's manners"

Chivalry was not merely a man being courteous to women, it was paired with men being viewed as more capable. The very concept behind being chivalrous was that women were weaker, fragile creatures that needed men to handle things for them.
It's an outdated concept and isn't only demeaning towards women, but is unfair towards men.

The older generations who opened doors for ladies also were more likely in a disaster to say" women and children first",I dont find that sexist,more like some internal drive to save those who will perpetuate the species.I have watched male birds bring treats to the females,I dont think a bird can be sexist.And I think that men open doors because the women had their arms full of kids and groceries.I open doors for people if they need help,it's just common courtesy.

"My point is, I lived through those times and even then I could see that when you pick ridiculous gestures to harp on, it just waters down your entire platform and it makes you seem like some way out fanatic who nobody is going to take seriously."

It's ridiculous because you're the one benefiting from it.
I wonder would you feel it was ridiculous if you were the man who watched the woman get the free seat simply because of her gender. Somehow I doubt it, but I don't expect you to be impartial here.

[quote="Clucky"]

Children always come first; but when the titanic sank it was preposterous how the men were left to die while the women survived.


In that era there was a lot of child mortality,you saved as many women as you could because it was ingrained in the men to rescue them to have more children.That concept is certainly outdated now.In that era there was always the chance that a woman was with child ,so men would be more concerned with saving their lives.