Victims of pedophile priests and imams help create more vict
15 Feb 2016, 5:44 pm
As adults we all have a responsibility to protect children, this includes victims. Shades of grey are often uncomfortable.
This is somewhat different from being complicit in abuse. However it is possible to be directly complicit in the continuation of abuse, and having been a victim. It may not be usual but it happens.
If you never allow the possibility for something to be the case in you thought this is not empirical.
A certain percentage of abused children will become abusers themselves.
It is very important that we do not continue generalise trauma.
Trauma has been badly misrepresented recently. It has become policised and weaponised by activists.
15 Feb 2016, 5:52 pm
GnosticBishop wrote:
It is a huge societal problem for sure. Stats show that about 40% of all men will abuse a child at some point time.
Sweeping such a situation under the carpet means that society does not want to face it and that means that we do not even want to try to improve on things.
Changing that mind set is a part of why I promote openness and the laying of charges instead of taking payoffs that lift the carpet for the perpetrators to hide under.
regards
DL
I agree with your statement that society does not want to face it. That is precisely the reason that survivors are afraid to speak up. If society had to face the problem it would require facing their own pain and anger and nobody wants to do that. Sometimes it's actually other survivors who don't want to listen because they don't want to face their own pain. Sometimes the denial is a subconscious defense mechanism. Basically what it comes down to is those who talk don't know, and those who know, don't talk. In addition, some who don't know they know don't talk and some who don't know they don't know talk. And some who just don't know if they know talk as well (like myself).
40% is a high number abuse is a subjective term. I would say that 100% of children and 100% of people are mistreated regularly. As far as sexual abuse, it's hard to get an exact number and I would say it's not all that important since it's impossible to define precisely.
Nobody disagrees that we should encourage survivors to come forward. Society as a whole needs to meet them halfway though and not shut their ears to it.
15 Feb 2016, 6:14 pm
0_equals_true wrote:
As adults we all have a responsibility to protect children, this includes victims. Shades of grey are often uncomfortable.
This is somewhat different from being complicit in abuse. However it is possible to be directly complicit in the continuation of abuse, and having been a victim. It may not be usual but it happens.
If you never allow the possibility for something to be the case in you thought this is not empirical.
A certain percentage of abused children will become abusers themselves.
It is very important that we do not continue generalise trauma.
Trauma has been badly misrepresented recently. It has become policised and weaponised by activists.
This is somewhat different from being complicit in abuse. However it is possible to be directly complicit in the continuation of abuse, and having been a victim. It may not be usual but it happens.
If you never allow the possibility for something to be the case in you thought this is not empirical.
A certain percentage of abused children will become abusers themselves.
It is very important that we do not continue generalise trauma.
Trauma has been badly misrepresented recently. It has become policised and weaponised by activists.
"A certain percentage of abused children will become abusers themselves."
True, and another benefit of speaking out would be that we could care for those victims, in terms of psychiatry, and perhaps help most to not follow the abusers footsteps.
We can hope that the parents who take the payoffs will provide that, but somehow I doubt that they will.
Regards
DL
Kraichgauer
Veteran
Joined: 12 Apr 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 49,751
Location: Spokane area, Washington state.
15 Feb 2016, 6:18 pm
GnosticBishop wrote:
Kraichgauer wrote:
GnosticBishop wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
GnosticBishop wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
No I do not think victims themselves of sexual assault from religious leaders/role models are responsible for contributing to the pedophile problem.
-Rape/sexual assault is traumatizing especially for children, its actually very common for children not to come forward right away when being abused that way. Also someone doesn't just automatically get believed if they say they've been sexually assaulted.
-The people who commit the sexual assault, and those aware of it who encourage silence on the matter or actively cover it up are the problem....not the victims who have to suffer that sick behavior.
-Rape/sexual assault is traumatizing especially for children, its actually very common for children not to come forward right away when being abused that way. Also someone doesn't just automatically get believed if they say they've been sexually assaulted.
-The people who commit the sexual assault, and those aware of it who encourage silence on the matter or actively cover it up are the problem....not the victims who have to suffer that sick behavior.
No argument except for your first.
I see the unfortunate victims as a part of the problem when they do not speak out.
Ask victim #2 if he thinks victim #1 should have laid a charge or take the money.
Ask victim 6 if victims 1,2,3 etc. should have laid a charge or taken the money.
I sympathise with all the victims but the latter ones would not exist if the former ones did the right thing and laid charges instead of taking the cash.
Regards
DL
Yes but what if the victim is too young to even fully understand the sexual nature of the abuse which seems to be the case in a lot of these priests abusing kids cases. It's just not so simple, also there is usually shame associated with coming forward or the risk of not being believed or even accused of outright lying...ideally they should come forward, realistically though human psychology is a lot more complex than that. Also when one victim comes out it can encourage others to do the same.
Of course society should always encourage people to come forward when facing that kind of abuse, but somehow stigma exists which would imply society hasn't done a great job of it.
It is a huge societal problem for sure. Stats show that about 40% of all men will abuse a child at some point time.
Sweeping such a situation under the carpet means that society does not want to face it and that means that we do not even want to try to improve on things.
Changing that mind set is a part of why I promote openness and the laying of charges instead of taking payoffs that lift the carpet for the perpetrators to hide under.
regards
DL
Wait a minute... 40%????? I don't doubt that you saw that figure, I just can't believe that it's accurate.
It is impossible to know r sure because as you can see from the link I gave that most go unreported.
This link gives a reasonable overview and the 40% is my best guess.
http://arkofhopeforchildren.org/child-a ... stics-info
•Approximately 20% of women and 5–10% of men report being sexually abused as children, while 25–50% of all children report being physically abused.
Regards
DL
I think it would be a mistake to assume one man sexually assaults one child. Rather, sex offenders tend to assault multiple victims.
_________________
-Bill, otherwise known as Kraichgauer
15 Feb 2016, 6:22 pm
heavenlyabyss wrote:
GnosticBishop wrote:
It is a huge societal problem for sure. Stats show that about 40% of all men will abuse a child at some point time.
Sweeping such a situation under the carpet means that society does not want to face it and that means that we do not even want to try to improve on things.
Changing that mind set is a part of why I promote openness and the laying of charges instead of taking payoffs that lift the carpet for the perpetrators to hide under.
regards
DL
I agree with your statement that society does not want to face it. That is precisely the reason that survivors are afraid to speak up. If society had to face the problem it would require facing their own pain and anger and nobody wants to do that. Sometimes it's actually other survivors who don't want to listen because they don't want to face their own pain. Sometimes the denial is a subconscious defense mechanism. Basically what it comes down to is those who talk don't know, and those who know, don't talk. In addition, some who don't know they know don't talk and some who don't know they don't know talk. And some who just don't know if they know talk as well (like myself).
40% is a high number abuse is a subjective term. I would say that 100% of children and 100% of people are mistreated regularly. As far as sexual abuse, it's hard to get an exact number and I would say it's not all that important since it's impossible to define precisely.
Nobody disagrees that we should encourage survivors to come forward. Society as a whole needs to meet them halfway though and not shut their ears to it.
Well thought out and put.
All of us want closure for the harm we think we are owed.
FMPOV, money does not equate to closure for the victims and it is why I dislike the parents that take the money that buys their silence. Seems to me that parents are adding abuse to their child by not allowing for the right kind of actions that would bring closure.
Regards
DL
15 Feb 2016, 6:27 pm
Kraichgauer wrote:
[
I think it would be a mistake to assume one man sexually assaults one child. Rather, sex offenders tend to assault multiple victims.
I think it would be a mistake to assume one man sexually assaults one child. Rather, sex offenders tend to assault multiple victims.
Indeed. That seems to be the rule for most sexual predators of all kinds.
That is why I think it important to charge them, even if the charge fails. Fear of being caught is created if these predators know that people are not just going to roll over or take cash for their child's assault.
Regards
DL
15 Feb 2016, 6:35 pm
wilburforce wrote:
GnosticBishop wrote:
wilburforce wrote:
GnosticBishop wrote:
heavenlyabyss wrote:
I'll keep this simple here by answering a question that was posed.
If I was victim #9 I would not blame victim #8 for not coming forward. I would place the blame squarely where it belongs - on the actual perpepatror.
Having said that I would do everything in my power to report if I thought that I could so without risking my own life or my family's life.
If I thought someone was simply taking a bribe I would place some level of guilt on that person but it's difficult to prove that the person is simply taking a bribe and is not doing so in part out of fear. So I would reserve judgement.
If I was victim #9 I would not blame victim #8 for not coming forward. I would place the blame squarely where it belongs - on the actual perpepatror.
Having said that I would do everything in my power to report if I thought that I could so without risking my own life or my family's life.
If I thought someone was simply taking a bribe I would place some level of guilt on that person but it's difficult to prove that the person is simply taking a bribe and is not doing so in part out of fear. So I would reserve judgement.
I hear you but FMPOV, if victim 8 or those before him would have stepped up, you would no have been assaulted.
Their silence allowed the predator to be able to get to you.
IMO, asking for or offering a bribe or payoff should be just as illegal as the assault.
Those bastards operate for decades because people take the money and run.
Justice demands better of us all.
Regards
DL
No, those bastards operate for decades because they prey on vulnerable children and the churches often knowingly pass them around and help cover for them. It has nothing to do with the behaviour of the victims and everything to do with the behaviour of the perpetrators and those responsible for the perpetrators (higher ups in their church).
Many people who have never been victims of crimes like this hold this idea that victims have some sort of responsibility to anyone but themselves and that responsibility for the abuse lies elsewhere than with the predators. It comes from ignorance and lack of compassion as well as a lack of understanding of how pedophiles exploit the system they function in (their communities) and it's most vulnerable members; they often specifically and intentionally target children who have no support system at home, come from abusive homes themselves or extreme poverty (and therefore few resources to cope with anything), children that they know are less likely to come forward for a variety of reasons and are less likely to be believed if they do come forward.
I forgive those who hold this belief because it comes from a place of ignorance, and they are lucky if they are ignorant of the intricacies of child sexual abuse. I just wish they would keep their ignorant judgement of victims of things they don't understand to themselves, because it is hurtful to people (children, especially) who have already been seriously harmed by sexual abuse. I also wish they would be more willing to direct their attention and go after the sources of the abuse (the predators and the churches that hide and cover for them and support them) rather than wasting their time telling victims that they aren't being victims in the right way. It doesn't help anyone, in fact it is counterproductive to solving the problem (ending child sexual abuse) because it shames victims and draws attention and blame away from the predators and those who protect them.
We both recognize that we should be compassionate towards the victims.
That compassion should not push us to not advise the victims to take the best moral position and action.
Many see the Golden Rule as our number one rule for life and following that says that a victim should warn his community of the predator in their midst.
Warning is doing the best unto others so not warning others cannot be seen as moral.
Regards
DL
When the victims are small children, this is not always advisable. You are not actually expressing compassion towards victims when you tell them they are responsible for stopping predators. You don't seem to understand what compassion is. We, as a community, are responsible for stopping predators by punishing them when we find them and severely punishing people who protect and hide them, and by teaching ALL children about healthy boundaries and what to do if someone tries to overstep their boundaries. Focusing on victims and what they should do or not do after the fact is just wrong-headed and wrong-hearted, as well as pointless and damaging. We are talking about traumatised children here. Seriously, pull your head out. If you keep insisting on putting responsibility on abused children to stop their abuse in the face of all rational arguments to the contrary, I will find it increasing difficult to forgive you your ignorance because then it begins to look willfull.
FMPOV, You are the ignorant one.
"We, as a community, are responsible for stopping predators"
I agree but note that you ignorantly exempt the victims and their parent rom that statement.
Taking a payoff is hardly a good way to stop predators. Right?
Fact is, that allows them to hide and seek new victims.
Why are you exempting the victims and families from what you say we should all be doing as a society?
Regards
DL
15 Feb 2016, 6:37 pm
GnosticBishop wrote:
heavenlyabyss wrote:
GnosticBishop wrote:
It is a huge societal problem for sure. Stats show that about 40% of all men will abuse a child at some point time.
Sweeping such a situation under the carpet means that society does not want to face it and that means that we do not even want to try to improve on things.
Changing that mind set is a part of why I promote openness and the laying of charges instead of taking payoffs that lift the carpet for the perpetrators to hide under.
regards
DL
I agree with your statement that society does not want to face it. That is precisely the reason that survivors are afraid to speak up. If society had to face the problem it would require facing their own pain and anger and nobody wants to do that. Sometimes it's actually other survivors who don't want to listen because they don't want to face their own pain. Sometimes the denial is a subconscious defense mechanism. Basically what it comes down to is those who talk don't know, and those who know, don't talk. In addition, some who don't know they know don't talk and some who don't know they don't know talk. And some who just don't know if they know talk as well (like myself).
40% is a high number abuse is a subjective term. I would say that 100% of children and 100% of people are mistreated regularly. As far as sexual abuse, it's hard to get an exact number and I would say it's not all that important since it's impossible to define precisely.
Nobody disagrees that we should encourage survivors to come forward. Society as a whole needs to meet them halfway though and not shut their ears to it.
Well thought out and put.
All of us want closure for the harm we think we are owed.
FMPOV, money does not equate to closure for the victims and it is why I dislike the parents that take the money that buys their silence. Seems to me that parents are adding abuse to their child by not allowing for the right kind of actions that would bring closure.
Regards
DL
What about in the case of very poor families who might not be able to afford good therapy (or any kind of therapy at all) for their children who have been traumatised by sexual abuse? They are common targets of child predators. Should they not accept the money that might help their child and just go without and hope their kid spontaneously heals some other way?
_________________
"Ego non immanis, sed mea immanis telum." ~ Ares, God of War
(Note to Moderators: my warning number is wrong on my profile but apparently can't be fixed so I will note here that it is actually 2, not 3--the warning issued to me on Aug 20 2016 was a mistake but I've been told it can't be removed.)
15 Feb 2016, 6:44 pm
GnosticBishop wrote:
FMPOV, You are the ignorant one.
"We, as a community, are responsible for stopping predators"
I agree but note that you ignorantly exempt the victims and their parent rom that statement.
Taking a payoff is hardly a good way to stop predators. Right?
Fact is, that allows them to hide and seek new victims.
Why are you exempting the victims and families from what you say we should all be doing as a society?
Regards
DL
"We, as a community, are responsible for stopping predators"
I agree but note that you ignorantly exempt the victims and their parent rom that statement.
Taking a payoff is hardly a good way to stop predators. Right?
Fact is, that allows them to hide and seek new victims.
Why are you exempting the victims and families from what you say we should all be doing as a society?
Regards
DL
Have you ever been a victim or family to a victim of child sexual abuse? If not, it would explain why you are having trouble putting yourself in the place of someone who had actually experienced that and what responsibility they have or don't have in regards to being abused. Do you know anyone in your personal life who has such a history? If so, I suggest you ask them about personal responsibility in regards to being a victim of child sexual abuse and see what they say about their own experience. Maybe it will help you gain some insight and sympathy and compassion into what victims go through and why ending child abuse is not up to them. Talking to people you know and care about, face to face, about this issue should help you get past this lack of compassion you are showing and give you some real emotional insight into childhood sexual trauma and how it can effect people.
_________________
"Ego non immanis, sed mea immanis telum." ~ Ares, God of War
(Note to Moderators: my warning number is wrong on my profile but apparently can't be fixed so I will note here that it is actually 2, not 3--the warning issued to me on Aug 20 2016 was a mistake but I've been told it can't be removed.)
Kraichgauer
Veteran
Joined: 12 Apr 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 49,751
Location: Spokane area, Washington state.
15 Feb 2016, 10:45 pm
GnosticBishop wrote:
Kraichgauer wrote:
[
I think it would be a mistake to assume one man sexually assaults one child. Rather, sex offenders tend to assault multiple victims.
I think it would be a mistake to assume one man sexually assaults one child. Rather, sex offenders tend to assault multiple victims.
Indeed. That seems to be the rule for most sexual predators of all kinds.
That is why I think it important to charge them, even if the charge fails. Fear of being caught is created if these predators know that people are not just going to roll over or take cash for their child's assault.
Regards
DL
You could not be more correct.
_________________
-Bill, otherwise known as Kraichgauer
16 Feb 2016, 10:59 am
wilburforce wrote:
GnosticBishop wrote:
heavenlyabyss wrote:
GnosticBishop wrote:
It is a huge societal problem for sure. Stats show that about 40% of all men will abuse a child at some point time.
Sweeping such a situation under the carpet means that society does not want to face it and that means that we do not even want to try to improve on things.
Changing that mind set is a part of why I promote openness and the laying of charges instead of taking payoffs that lift the carpet for the perpetrators to hide under.
regards
DL
I agree with your statement that society does not want to face it. That is precisely the reason that survivors are afraid to speak up. If society had to face the problem it would require facing their own pain and anger and nobody wants to do that. Sometimes it's actually other survivors who don't want to listen because they don't want to face their own pain. Sometimes the denial is a subconscious defense mechanism. Basically what it comes down to is those who talk don't know, and those who know, don't talk. In addition, some who don't know they know don't talk and some who don't know they don't know talk. And some who just don't know if they know talk as well (like myself).
40% is a high number abuse is a subjective term. I would say that 100% of children and 100% of people are mistreated regularly. As far as sexual abuse, it's hard to get an exact number and I would say it's not all that important since it's impossible to define precisely.
Nobody disagrees that we should encourage survivors to come forward. Society as a whole needs to meet them halfway though and not shut their ears to it.
Well thought out and put.
All of us want closure for the harm we think we are owed.
FMPOV, money does not equate to closure for the victims and it is why I dislike the parents that take the money that buys their silence. Seems to me that parents are adding abuse to their child by not allowing for the right kind of actions that would bring closure.
Regards
DL
What about in the case of very poor families who might not be able to afford good therapy (or any kind of therapy at all) for their children who have been traumatised by sexual abuse? They are common targets of child predators. Should they not accept the money that might help their child and just go without and hope their kid spontaneously heals some other way?
Certainly they should demand that their child be given whatever resources the child need to recover as well as possible.
That support and funding does not have to be conditional to the victim remaining silent and denying the state justice. A judge who has found a predator guilty will demand the wherewithal to care for the victim.
That would serve justice and society better than parents just taking a payoff that might not be enough and allowing the predator freedom to seek a new victim. Right?
Regards
DL
16 Feb 2016, 11:04 am
wilburforce wrote:
GnosticBishop wrote:
FMPOV, You are the ignorant one.
"We, as a community, are responsible for stopping predators"
I agree but note that you ignorantly exempt the victims and their parent rom that statement.
Taking a payoff is hardly a good way to stop predators. Right?
Fact is, that allows them to hide and seek new victims.
Why are you exempting the victims and families from what you say we should all be doing as a society?
Regards
DL
"We, as a community, are responsible for stopping predators"
I agree but note that you ignorantly exempt the victims and their parent rom that statement.
Taking a payoff is hardly a good way to stop predators. Right?
Fact is, that allows them to hide and seek new victims.
Why are you exempting the victims and families from what you say we should all be doing as a society?
Regards
DL
Have you ever been a victim or family to a victim of child sexual abuse? If not, it would explain why you are having trouble putting yourself in the place of someone who had actually experienced that and what responsibility they have or don't have in regards to being abused. Do you know anyone in your personal life who has such a history? If so, I suggest you ask them about personal responsibility in regards to being a victim of child sexual abuse and see what they say about their own experience. Maybe it will help you gain some insight and sympathy and compassion into what victims go through and why ending child abuse is not up to them. Talking to people you know and care about, face to face, about this issue should help you get past this lack of compassion you are showing and give you some real emotional insight into childhood sexual trauma and how it can effect people.
You are only looking at the victim and not the big picture.
That victim you are thinking of would likely not exist as a victim if the prior victim had done the right and moral thing and charged is assailant and warned the community of the bastard in their midst.
You are advocating that responsibility to the community be ignored for self-serving reasons. Re-think.
Regards
DL
16 Feb 2016, 11:07 am
Kraichgauer wrote:
GnosticBishop wrote:
Kraichgauer wrote:
[
I think it would be a mistake to assume one man sexually assaults one child. Rather, sex offenders tend to assault multiple victims.
I think it would be a mistake to assume one man sexually assaults one child. Rather, sex offenders tend to assault multiple victims.
Indeed. That seems to be the rule for most sexual predators of all kinds.
That is why I think it important to charge them, even if the charge fails. Fear of being caught is created if these predators know that people are not just going to roll over or take cash for their child's assault.
Regards
DL
You could not be more correct.
Thanks.
I wish all here saw that.
It is disappointing that many here and elsewhere take the moral low ground while trying to make it seem like the best thing to do.
Regards
DL
16 Feb 2016, 4:56 pm
GnosticBishop wrote:
wilburforce wrote:
GnosticBishop wrote:
FMPOV, You are the ignorant one.
"We, as a community, are responsible for stopping predators"
I agree but note that you ignorantly exempt the victims and their parent rom that statement.
Taking a payoff is hardly a good way to stop predators. Right?
Fact is, that allows them to hide and seek new victims.
Why are you exempting the victims and families from what you say we should all be doing as a society?
Regards
DL
"We, as a community, are responsible for stopping predators"
I agree but note that you ignorantly exempt the victims and their parent rom that statement.
Taking a payoff is hardly a good way to stop predators. Right?
Fact is, that allows them to hide and seek new victims.
Why are you exempting the victims and families from what you say we should all be doing as a society?
Regards
DL
Have you ever been a victim or family to a victim of child sexual abuse? If not, it would explain why you are having trouble putting yourself in the place of someone who had actually experienced that and what responsibility they have or don't have in regards to being abused. Do you know anyone in your personal life who has such a history? If so, I suggest you ask them about personal responsibility in regards to being a victim of child sexual abuse and see what they say about their own experience. Maybe it will help you gain some insight and sympathy and compassion into what victims go through and why ending child abuse is not up to them. Talking to people you know and care about, face to face, about this issue should help you get past this lack of compassion you are showing and give you some real emotional insight into childhood sexual trauma and how it can effect people.
You are only looking at the victim and not the big picture.
That victim you are thinking of would likely not exist as a victim if the prior victim had done the right and moral thing and charged is assailant and warned the community of the bastard in their midst.
You are advocating that responsibility to the community be ignored for self-serving reasons. Re-think.
Regards
DL
I really think you would benefit from following my suggestion and talking to someone you care about in person about child sexual abuse and how it effects victims. I think it would help to change your attitude to a more compassionate one, which you really need to have on this issue. Your judgement is not helpful to anyone, if you really do want to help in regards to this issue (which I am beginning to doubt).
_________________
"Ego non immanis, sed mea immanis telum." ~ Ares, God of War
(Note to Moderators: my warning number is wrong on my profile but apparently can't be fixed so I will note here that it is actually 2, not 3--the warning issued to me on Aug 20 2016 was a mistake but I've been told it can't be removed.)
16 Feb 2016, 5:02 pm
GnosticBishop wrote:
Kraichgauer wrote:
GnosticBishop wrote:
Kraichgauer wrote:
[
I think it would be a mistake to assume one man sexually assaults one child. Rather, sex offenders tend to assault multiple victims.
I think it would be a mistake to assume one man sexually assaults one child. Rather, sex offenders tend to assault multiple victims.
Indeed. That seems to be the rule for most sexual predators of all kinds.
That is why I think it important to charge them, even if the charge fails. Fear of being caught is created if these predators know that people are not just going to roll over or take cash for their child's assault.
Regards
DL
You could not be more correct.
Thanks.
I wish all here saw that.
It is disappointing that many here and elsewhere take the moral low ground while trying to make it seem like the best thing to do.
Regards
DL
You may want to think, from a logical perspective, why it is that so many people (and not just people in this thread, but people like psychologists who work with children who have been harmed by sexual abuse and other advocates) with personal experience with this issue think very differently from you about the responsibility of child victims. It could be that they know better than you because of that personal experience and wisdom, and your lack of personal experience is making you ignorant in a way you apparently are having trouble acknowledging. I really think you would benefit from speaking in person to some people who are personally experienced in this area, that it would help humanise the issue for you and help you think in a more humane way about child victims.
_________________
"Ego non immanis, sed mea immanis telum." ~ Ares, God of War
(Note to Moderators: my warning number is wrong on my profile but apparently can't be fixed so I will note here that it is actually 2, not 3--the warning issued to me on Aug 20 2016 was a mistake but I've been told it can't be removed.)
16 Feb 2016, 7:44 pm
wilburforce wrote:
GnosticBishop wrote:
wilburforce wrote:
GnosticBishop wrote:
FMPOV, You are the ignorant one.
"We, as a community, are responsible for stopping predators"
I agree but note that you ignorantly exempt the victims and their parent rom that statement.
Taking a payoff is hardly a good way to stop predators. Right?
Fact is, that allows them to hide and seek new victims.
Why are you exempting the victims and families from what you say we should all be doing as a society?
Regards
DL
"We, as a community, are responsible for stopping predators"
I agree but note that you ignorantly exempt the victims and their parent rom that statement.
Taking a payoff is hardly a good way to stop predators. Right?
Fact is, that allows them to hide and seek new victims.
Why are you exempting the victims and families from what you say we should all be doing as a society?
Regards
DL
Have you ever been a victim or family to a victim of child sexual abuse? If not, it would explain why you are having trouble putting yourself in the place of someone who had actually experienced that and what responsibility they have or don't have in regards to being abused. Do you know anyone in your personal life who has such a history? If so, I suggest you ask them about personal responsibility in regards to being a victim of child sexual abuse and see what they say about their own experience. Maybe it will help you gain some insight and sympathy and compassion into what victims go through and why ending child abuse is not up to them. Talking to people you know and care about, face to face, about this issue should help you get past this lack of compassion you are showing and give you some real emotional insight into childhood sexual trauma and how it can effect people.
You are only looking at the victim and not the big picture.
That victim you are thinking of would likely not exist as a victim if the prior victim had done the right and moral thing and charged is assailant and warned the community of the bastard in their midst.
You are advocating that responsibility to the community be ignored for self-serving reasons. Re-think.
Regards
DL
I really think you would benefit from following my suggestion and talking to someone you care about in person about child sexual abuse and how it effects victims. I think it would help to change your attitude to a more compassionate one, which you really need to have on this issue. Your judgement is not helpful to anyone, if you really do want to help in regards to this issue (which I am beginning to doubt).
You doubt wrong and I don't care as this is not about me but about morality.
Let's see if you have a working knowledge of those.
You are aware of the Golden rule.
What would it dictate to the victim and his parents, recognizing that the parents are likely leading the decisions.
Regards
DL
