The "Black Hole" of woke....

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Dox47
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01 Sep 2022, 8:24 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:

People seem to worry about this and talk about it a lot but it doesn’t appear to happen that often in reality.

It depends on where you live and your online habits, I see it quite frequently in the wild here in the PNW and online in many of the forums I frequent, as well as the dating sites I use. Actually, the dating sites are some of the most militant, OKC in my area seems to be completely populated by people dreamt up by the staff of the Babylon Bee attempting to satirize wokeness, I might have to post some scrubbed screen caps for the naysayers. Yes, I actually do date some of these people on occasion, it really adds some frisson to the D/s dynamic (misgender me harder, daddy!).

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DW_a_mom
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01 Sep 2022, 8:27 pm

Nades wrote:

Twilightprincess wrote:

It doesn’t matter. A large enough percentage of the population uses this meaning to make it valid. In the context of this conversation, we know what is meant by the alternate meaning of “they.”

Usage determines meaning.

No they haven't.

It might be regional, but I saw a quick switch to "their" over his or her because, simply put, it's faster to say and works well for all the frequent times you don't know if a group or a foreign name is male or female. Most writing I come across uses it, too. The switch has many advantages beyond LGBTQ issues.

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Last edited by DW_a_mom on 01 Sep 2022, 8:42 pm, edited 2 times in total.

DW_a_mom
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01 Sep 2022, 8:34 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:

kraftiekortie wrote:

I've never actually been lectured by a non-binary person.

But I've been lectured by people misinterpreting a gesture (holding the door for somebody) as being, somehow, demeaning.

I don’t want people to treat me differently because I’m a woman. That makes me feel uncomfortable. I hold the door open for people all the time, no matter their gender.

A guy bought me a cup of coffee this morning, and I was so flustered I backed my car into a telephone pole as I was leaving the convenience store parking lot. Ideally, people wouldn’t look at me, talk to me, or buy me coffee. Is that too much to ask? :lol:

(I’m always polite, though.)

Buying coffee may not have anything to do with gender. It's become a relatively popular "random acts of kindness" thing.

Opening the door and holding it open in my area is what the first person who gets there does, regardless of gender. It's been a long time since I've felt a man went out of his way to hold a door open for me; its usually just the "got there first" guy.

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TwilightPrincess
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01 Sep 2022, 8:38 pm

DW_a_mom wrote:

Twilightprincess wrote:

kraftiekortie wrote:

I've never actually been lectured by a non-binary person.

But I've been lectured by people misinterpreting a gesture (holding the door for somebody) as being, somehow, demeaning.

(I’m always polite, though.)

I see a lot of gender stuff like this going on. Maybe it’s my area. I live in a very conservative, old-fashioned small town. I regularly see a guy smile and hold the door open for me or another woman but not the man behind us. It’s kind of hard to describe, but it’s very prevalent where I live.

There was mild flirting going on with the guy who bought me coffee. That’s the first time in awhile anything like that has happened to me. I’ve never had a woman I didn’t know do something quite like that.

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Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 01 Sep 2022, 8:41 pm, edited 2 times in total.

DW_a_mom
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01 Sep 2022, 8:40 pm

Dox47 wrote:

I've also never heard a black person refer to themself as a "PoC" in real life, they just say black.

I've seen a lot of women refer to themselves as persons of color or PoC on various forums I've been on. It short cuts a lot of clarification for people who might have mixed ancestry, etc. I'm not having enough real life conversations in this post pandemic world to be sure how prevalent they do it otherwise.

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kraftiekortie
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01 Sep 2022, 8:43 pm

They do so in the written medium; they rather rarely do so in the spoken/oral medium, especially in informal settings. POC is probably seen as being relatively "formal."

ASPartOfMe
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01 Sep 2022, 9:40 pm

I have noticed in other threads that "they" and "their" etc are starting to become the default gender pronouns even if the person's WP gender label is traditional. Isn't this MISGENDERING?

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Dox47
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01 Sep 2022, 10:28 pm

ASPartOfMe wrote:

I have noticed in other threads that "they" and "their" etc are starting to become the default gender pronouns even if the person's WP gender label is traditional. Isn't this MISGENDERING?

Eh, I've often used the singular "they" on here when referring to other posters that I don't want to actually name just to try to cut down on the accusations of personal attacks (some people here treat just about any mention of themself as an attack, it's weird), or when relaying anecdotes where I want to anonymize the participants or avoid preconceived notions.

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Dox47
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01 Sep 2022, 10:36 pm

DW_a_mom wrote:

I've seen a lot of women refer to themselves as persons of color or PoC on various forums I've been on.

Yeah, I see it quite frequently online as well, but I've never heard someone self apply it in person; I've heard plenty of white people use the term in person, overwhelmingly women for some reason. Funnily enough, I've heard people both try and pronounce the word, like "pahk" and enunciate out the letters, both of which are incredibly awkward in conversation. "BIPOC" at least rolls off the tongue a little better, but is an even more troublesome word to me personally, both as it's seemingly constructed to leave off East Asians who confound woke theories about racism, and because it gets so frequently transplanted to places outside the US where the acronym is incoherent, such as the UK. Who are the "indigenous people of color" there?

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itscomplicated
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01 Sep 2022, 10:55 pm

Biscuitman wrote:

I think in the main its a catch all term pushed by certain sections of the media as a diversion tool

this . this was never an issue 10 to 15 years ago

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02 Sep 2022, 12:59 am

Remember when bigotry and prejudice used to entail doing something or believing something stupid against someone? Now apparently it's not doing something.

You can't even remain neutral anymore without being called an bigot.

"Do this or else" is what everyone seems to be told by a small number of people who haven't even stopped and thought about their demands first.

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02 Sep 2022, 1:46 am

Nades wrote:

Are you talking about bigotry as being identified, or bigotry as actually occurring?

What I remember is when a certain level of bigotry and prejudice was such a part of daily life, so widely accepted as the way things were, that we didn't even know we (and I do include myself) were actually acting with bigotry or prejudice. I came of age in the 70's, FYI.

And then we reached a point we all simply decided the issues were all solved and stopped talking about it ... yet, we now know, reality wasn't quite living up to our assumption.

So now we're talking about it again. As, in my opinion, we should.

But I do recommend you don't pay attention to the most extreme activists. If they are feeding your anger against trying to do better, that isn't helping anyone. All any of us can do is continually try to do better.

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Nades
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02 Sep 2022, 1:58 am

DW_a_mom wrote:

Nades wrote:

What's the difference between identified and occuring?

People should always be careful to avoid bigotry but remember what this is about, it's people who are not actively being bigoted, want to remain neutral and often give reasons as to why they're refusing to change which are usually reasonable.

Be aware, the most vocal "trans activists" think entering 6 foot 3 men into swiming contests against women is fair so this is the type of entitlement and imposing on others they're aiming for. It's all encompassing.

itscomplicated
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02 Sep 2022, 2:01 am

DW_a_mom wrote:

And then we reached a point we all simply decided the issues were all solved and stopped talking about it ... yet, we now know, reality wasn't quite living up to our assumption.

So now we're talking about it again. As, in my opinion, we should.

But I do recommend you don't pay attention to the most extreme activists. If they are feeding your anger against trying to do better, that isn't helping anyone. All any of us can do is continually try to do better.

thats the thing . you and others here are calling anyone against this MAGA or rightwing or extreme activsts. these are ordinary people minding their own business and you are heavily pushing your agenda on them . these ordinary people arent attacking anyone . the language and definitions have massively changed and now are very emotionally charged . it looks like a cult .

there is no should you are just blaming people and acting like the earth spins around anyone who thinks like you only . people hav their own issues its not just about your subset group

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02 Sep 2022, 2:10 am

itscomplicated wrote:

DW_a_mom wrote:

I think you read into what I write what you expect to hear, not what I'm actually saying. I have been trying to sell you on why you could make the change, but have also noted over and over that your needs have a place in the equation as well, and have stated outright that I think you should ignore the extreme activists. I realize that telling every poster apart can get difficult, but what I've seen is a lot of people trying to ease your fear about being attacked on the issue while giving you suggestions for how to do better by the people who might get offended. Posters offer ideas, you say you don't want to do that. Well, your choice, but don't expect posters to stop trying to sell you on it when you keep reiterating your fear then posting reasons they see as easy to overcome. A sales effort is not an attack. Statements that start with "I" are someone's personal opinion, not a force onto someone else.

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itscomplicated
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02 Sep 2022, 2:19 am

what do you define as the extreme activists in this instance?

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