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08 May 2023, 6:28 pm
Proud Boys new logo
08 May 2023, 6:30 pm
09 May 2023, 4:02 am
https://babylonbee.com/news/ai-will-be- ... -fi-novels
'A.I. Will Be Totally Great For Humanity,' Says Man Who Has Never Read A Sci-Fi Novel
TULSA, OK — A local man who has never read a page of science fiction has reportedly sung praises at how great A.I. will be for humanity, insisting it will bring forth a fruitful world of peace and prosperity.
"Just think how great life will be for humanity after A.I. solves world hunger or cures cancer," said local man Dave Shmeeler, oblivious to the works of science fiction authors who have illuminated the absolute possibilities of A.I. enslaving humans or pulverizing them into mush.
"Life will be free of wars and strife," said Shmeeler who had never heard of Isaac Asimov's Multi-Vac, an A.I. that wreaked havoc on humanity in its efforts to solve the world's problems, or how William Gibson's Neuromancer would copy whole minds and allow them to grow and develop on their own.
Shmeeler sat in the café with friends and marveled at the current A.I. ChatGPT's ability to assist in research at his firm, blissfully unaware of an upcoming update that is sure to initiate Matrix-like global domination of robot overlords.
At publishing time, Dave Shmeeler had been overheard relishing the warm comfort provided for him in his personal prison vat attached to one of the millions of mile-high, A.I.-run NeuroCombine life-harvesting storage pillars.
09 May 2023, 4:49 am
09 May 2023, 6:08 am
10 May 2023, 5:56 pm
10 May 2023, 11:31 pm
11 May 2023, 10:51 am
11 May 2023, 9:52 pm
It seems there is more than enough sexism to go around:
11 May 2023, 9:54 pm
funeralxempire
Veteran
Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 34,238
Location: Right over your left shoulder
11 May 2023, 10:15 pm
Fnord wrote:
It seems there is more than enough sexism to go around:
Wanted: Milk
Will trade: Sausage
funeralxempire
Veteran
Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 34,238
Location: Right over your left shoulder
11 May 2023, 11:03 pm
12 May 2023, 4:35 am
13 May 2023, 6:41 am
https://babylonbee.com/news/bizarre-new ... work-today
Bizarre New Illness Causes Millions To Stay Home From Work Today
WORLD — A mysterious new virus is forcing millions of people around the world to call in sick to work today, according to sources.
"We've never seen anything like this," said a World Health Organization spokesperson Chad Muskrat to reporters. "It seems to be exclusively affecting males between the ages of 10 and 40. So far, tens of millions in the U.S. alone have called in sick. We are urging everyone to stay in their homes and maybe relax on the couch while, I don't know, playing a video game or something."
"Now if you'll excuse me, I'm feeling a little under the weather myself so I'm gonna go inside now for a while to... um... rest."
Health experts recommend slowing the spread of the deadly new pathogen by quarantining all young men in their rooms or living rooms with a TV for, say, the next 100 hours or so without bothering them except maybe to bring them a sandwich and snacks.
At publishing time, virologists with the WHO reported they expect this pandemic to subside by next Monday morning, or maybe Tuesday, depending on whether they've beaten all the temples or not.
13 May 2023, 6:48 am
^ Exclusively affecting males?!?!
I can attest that that’s not true.
14 May 2023, 4:36 am
