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14 May 2023, 8:30 am
16 May 2023, 11:13 am
ASPartOfMe
Veteran
Joined: 25 Aug 2013
Age: 68
Gender: Male
Posts: 39,637
Location: Long Island, New York
16 May 2023, 1:39 pm
16 May 2023, 1:56 pm
https://babylonbee.com/news/media-admit ... thing-else
Media Admits They Lied About That Russia Collusion Thing But Are Totally Telling The Truth About Everything Else
U.S. — After John Durham's newly released report confirmed the Trump-Russia collusion narrative was entirely fabricated, several notable media figures admitted they lied to the American people for 3 years but promised that they're totally telling the truth about everything else.
"I would never lie to the American people. Except for that one time. That doesn't count," said CBS News Anchor Scott Pelley. "Just look at how serious and trustworthy my face is. Look at my sincere gaze as I stare soulfully into the camera and deliver my prepared lines with the gravitas of a real truth-teller. Come on!"
"You can still trust us," agreed CNN Anchor and part-time anonymous message board foot model Jake Tapper. "Even though we divided the country in hatred and anger for three years to try to destroy Trump over a false narrative, and then continued to do so even after we found out it was fake, and then insulted the intelligence of everyone who was skeptical about what we were saying, it doesn't mean we would ever lie to you or anything."
Media-approved anonymous sources claim that 10 out of 10 media experts agree that in spite of the lies about Trump and Russia, Americans should still unquestionably believe every claim the media makes about Ukraine, COVID, domestic terrorism, the 2020 election, and who is a racist and who isn't.
At publishing time, Joy Reid also chimed in, saying everyone who doesn't agree with her is a racist.
17 May 2023, 8:05 am
17 May 2023, 8:09 am
Recidivist wrote:
18 May 2023, 5:27 am
https://babylonbee.com/news/elon-apolog ... orge-soros
Elon Musk Apologizes To Magneto For Comparing Him To George Soros
AUSTIN, TX — After controversial comments that spooked investors in Tesla and Twitter, Elon Musk has finally come forward to apologize to Magneto for comparing him to the dastardly villain George Soros.
"I would like to say I'm sorry to Max Eisenhardt, also known as 'Magneto,'" said Elon in a statement. "My comparison was unfair. While Magneto is a conflicted and misunderstood character with real human motivations you can empathize with, Soros is an insane cartoon villain with an inhuman hatred for humanity. Not even close to the same person."
The Anti-Defamation League thanked Elon for the apology and expressed hope that he will do better in the future. "It is unfair to compare anyone, living or dead, to that evil, hollow shell of a man known as 'Soros,'" said ADL CEO Jonathan Greenblatt. "We certainly hope Mr. Musk chooses his words more wisely in the future."
When reached for comment, Soros responded by catching a fly out of the air with his tongue and asking one of his servants to turn up his heat lamp.
funeralxempire
Veteran
Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 34,234
Location: Right over your left shoulder
18 May 2023, 11:19 am
18 May 2023, 12:42 pm
^It’s Maye.She’s been dead for years and no one knew.He made her into a cyborg and soon she will be unleashed on a unsuspecting world.
goldfish21
Veteran
Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
18 May 2023, 6:34 pm
_________________
No
for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.
19 May 2023, 5:55 pm
19 May 2023, 6:35 pm
^ 
19 May 2023, 6:36 pm
goldfish21 wrote:
The first 3 I get. The last one is puzzling me. Cowboy Cheese singles have no healthcare? - somebody put me out of my misery and explain.
19 May 2023, 10:58 pm
19 May 2023, 11:03 pm
goldfish21
Veteran
Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
19 May 2023, 11:48 pm
Recidivist wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
The first 3 I get. The last one is puzzling me. Cowboy Cheese singles have no healthcare? - somebody put me out of my misery and explain.
1. It’s “American cheese,” which is an actual cheese-like product. It contains cheese, something like 49 or 51% or something and the rest is BS.. vegetable oils, corn syrup, various carcinogens - who knows exactly.. but it’s not a natural proper cheese. It’s cheese-like plastic that melts easily and is what’s typically on fast food burgers and subway sandwiches in lieu of actual real cheese.
2. Americans don’t have single payer State or Federal health insurance like Canadians, British, Scandinavians etc despite paying the most money per capita for healthcare services.
_________________
No
for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.
