Stop!! Don't go to Hell!! !!

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I guess no one read my small insight on things... -sigh-

AFLOAT

Cold, I am, and bloody tired
To shovel sh** and hay and fruit
That these seasick beasts may be inspired
To live and multiply, to graze and root
In the world when dried.
Many came. Many died.

It was Shem who lost the unicorns.
They were so shy. They lived exclusively on grapes.
He is imperious, like most first borns.
And he must have his wines. And then there were the apes.
Those neanderthals - we thought of them as beasts;
They were not circumcised. They made good leopard feasts.

The dragons simply were too huge.
Their weight had caused the boat to list.
And with that wind and this deluge
We tossed them overboard. They won’t be missed.
Japheth did in the flying pigs. They were treyf.
Noah’s screams were loud enough to make me deaf.

The dinosaurs bent the bars on their cages.
They ate a lot, and how they stank!
Growling, roaring, they’d bite each other in their rages.
They were too much trouble , to be frank.
Rattling their chains, breaking leg irons,
We gave up and fed them to the lions.

And there were those frightful things from outer space.
They almost seemed intelligent, they spoke,
But not Aramaic, just gabble. Their dispatch was no disgrace.
And, also, we lost the elves, fairies, gnomes - all little folk.
I just barely saved the dodo, and the passenger pigeon.
We all prayed, but there are limits to religion.

Finally, that’s the way it goes. The work is lighter.
The rain drums on. The wives are bored to tears.
Noah keeps us in line. Discipline is tighter.
He sings funny songs, quiets down our fears,
Assures us all it will be over soon.
I miss the Sun and yearn to see the Moon.

Sand, that was awesome. May I post it, with attribution to my facebook profile?

So you think it's much more probable that god decided to make us for s**ts and giggles, not revealing himself to us and then casts us into eternal hellfire if we don't worship him? What kind of f**** up mother f**** is that?

Sand, that was awesome. May I post it, with attribution to my facebook profile?

Sand's verse is very cute. But not to be taken literally.

ruveyn

I appreciate your acute perceptive ability that it was not to be taken seriously.

There are a lot of faithful Christians on this board, so I felt ethically obliged to utter this caveat.

ruven

In the light of your declaration that no one outside your immediate family is worthy of much empathy I am delight that you have decided to take faithful Christians under your wing. It does seem, though, that your comment is a rather backhanded insult to their intellect.

I thought it was rather fore-handed. I have no bashfulness in telling my inferiors what I think about them. Kindness to the lesser folk is not my most prominent characteristic.

My role model, Socrates, was pretty good at that. Of course, it cost him dearly in the end.

"I drank what???! !! !" - Socrates of Athens

ruveyn

^ SO TRUE.

Hovewer, if i were to say "i wanna go to hell when i die" to my dad, he would surely get mad and deny it, but it's like god doesn't give a s*** about it and just sends his "children" to hell, THAT is NOT what a GOOD father would do.

This is precisely my problem with religion. I'll assume that these posters were raised religiously, and yet they seem to have no idea what God is supposed to be all about. In a nutshell, it's not all about you. If you want to get into heaven (if you believe it exists) or to know God, as they say, then the way to do this is by helping others. Stop focusing on your own crap and start working on selflessness. Volunteer at a soup kitchen or tutor some foster kids. Meet some individuals who are suffering far more than yourselves and help to make a difference. This seems to be the fundamental ideal of most religions, yet the message rarely gets accross. Even if you don't believe in God or hell or heaven, I promise you will be a happier person.