If a pregnant woman drinks heavily, knowing she's pregnant and intends to have the baby, morally that is grievous bodily harm. though any laws against it would probably be unenforceable. The availability of contraception and abortion is irrelevant - the woman can always choose to stop drinking. Unless the state is forcing her to drink, it is not responsible for FAS, the mother is. But I'm not aware of any government in the world shoving a funnel into pregnant women's mouths and pouring vodka down.
That men wear condoms is neither here nor there - unless she's raped, the woman can make condom use a condition of sex. If she's raped, it results in pregnancy and abortion is unavailable to her, she can always stop drinking. Abortion costs money? So does alcohol...