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QFT
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10 Aug 2019, 8:25 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
I am not suggesting people just refuse to work altogether, that would be problematic...I am just talking about working less.


Well, that would depend on how much less. I think being paid proportionally to how much you work is a good way to handle it. You basically consume as much as you produce, so you are not a burden no matter what you choose to do. And then you can make your own choice whether to work less and consume less or work more and consume more.

Sweetleaf wrote:
Also with technology a lot of production could be done with robots and AI, so eventually the need for human labor if such technology grows will be reduced anyways.


That would be great, but not in the way you are thinking. So I want to be a theoretical physicist, but I have a hard time getting that job because of the competition: like for a professor there can be as many as 100, 300 or even 500 people per place. Now, why do we have such a huge competition? Because theoretical physicists aren't making any "products" that people can use, and thats why people can't afford to pay to too many of them -- hence the competition. But if the robots would be the ones producing all the products, then we would be able to afford to have more people doing things like theoretical physics, and then instead of 300 people per place there would be a competition of 3 people per place.

On the downside, I heard a rumor about robots being able to solve theoretical physics problems too. Well THAT would be horrible, since then my dream of becoming famous physicist would go out the window. So I just hope that robots do all the labor work while leaving theoretical physics for humans.

And on a different subject, I don't want the robots to go too far since the mark of the beast would probably be enforced through robots and as a Christian I don't want that to happen.

Sweetleaf wrote:
Also most low income people I know including myself work....many work whilst getting some form of government benefit. It is more homeless people who hold signs asking for change, Also a good majority of these sign holding beggars I see in my area are veterans.


I guess its hard to believe they are mostly veterans: I mean, if you look at how they are asking for the money "for the bus" yet in actuality intend to buy drugs on it -- do you really think a veteran would do that?!

Sweetleaf wrote:
Its very difficult for homeless people to maintain a job even if they aren't abusing any drugs, even if they can get hired which would be difficult with the bad hygiene that comes with homelessness.


So do you think something as simple as providing a free shower, free clothes and free laundary for htem would break this cycle? I mean you mentioned how they get a job and then get fired for bad hygine. But what if that job that they get were to provide them with those things, would this enable them to keep that job?

Sweetleaf wrote:
They don't have a home so any money they make they just have to spend on surviving without adequate shelter so very difficult to get ahead at all. So yeah some resort to begging. Also where I live the majority of people holding signs I see are white, some hispanic but vast majority are white.


Thats also interesting. In Berkeley they are mostly black, in Albuquerque they are mostly hispanic, and in your area they are mostly White. So what is the explanation why in different areas the homeless demographics is so different?

The most I can offer from my own experience is that in Oxford, Mississippi, the homeless are absent altogether -- and the blacks that live there are a lot more pleasant than the blacks that live in the other parts of the country (but that is probably because it is a small college town isolated by forests so the people that come there -- white or black -- are either rich enough to drive through all that forest and/or related to school somehow). The other thing I can think of is if I am somewhere with high poverty rate and very small black population, this would imply large number of White homeless (but I can't think of any specific example of this). But what about the place where you are from? What is the demographics there?

Sweetleaf wrote:
As for your fathers relative, it would seem that had more to do with affirmative action, which has good intentions but is rather flawed.


I was thinking affirmative action is about applying to college? Or are you saying its about jobs too?

Sweetleaf wrote:
Also sounds like the guy who got fired was an a**hole but I don't think that is an example of anything significant outside of that. Its certainly not a typical thing that happens as far as I know.


Well, the part thats "not" about him being an a**hole is where they said he would be guaranteed promotion if he just shows up to work on time. That shows a clear reverse racism.

But, of course, that doesn't negate him being an a**hole either. You can have both at the same time.

Also, even though its true that both good people and bad people come in all races, you can still talk about statistics as to in which races they are more common. At least where I live, this particular behavior would be more common among black people. But since you said that where you live its different, that is quite interesting.



League_Girl
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11 Aug 2019, 1:15 am

QFT wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
QFT wrote:
Me personally, I think the most discriminated group of people is the middle class, since they neither have free help from the liberal government nor do they have their riches to fall back on.


Yes they do fall between the cracks. They make too much to get help but don't make enough to make a comfortable living so therefore they cannot afford healthcare or to keep food on the table or to be able to pay all their bills. They would need to rely on family for it or make a split living where they all live together and they split living costs. That is how me and my parents and husband do it.


I was thinking that American families don't like to rely on each others money, and they even go as far as "loaning" money to direct relatives that they have to pay back (which my family doesn't do we have common money). So I am a bit surprised to see your family also shares money. Is it that common where you live? I know American states are different from each other too, like I noticed in the southern states people tend to be a lot closer to their families and go to university more locally whereas in northern states they like to travel across the country to go to school.


Me and my husband are disabled and will never be able to do college and have a higher paying job like they did and like my brothers do. My brother used to be poor but then he did online schooling and started working for some electronic place and he has an aspie gift (he is NT) for visualizing things and can see details and patterns and he used that gift to succeed in his job. Now he is part of the management team and makes more money. It's a tech business he works for. I don't have this gift.

My other brother you could say was poor because he was supported by my parents income while he was going to law school and studying. He wouldn't have done it without their help. It is a normal thing in America to have your parents help you and bail you out when you run into trouble or have emergencies and even have them pay for your schooling. We call it a privilege. Even if you are poor and your parents have money, you are still privileged because you still won't experience what poor people will experience, that is if you have normal parents who support you and are not "you are an adult, you're on your own now so we won't help you."

So yeah I would say this is a normal thing for families to live together if living is too expensive and my in laws do it too with my sister in law and brother in law, they all are living together. They're all poor. Plus my in laws are disabled and so is my sister in law due to being hit by a car when she was 7.

League_Girl wrote:
Some people are not capable of getting help when they need it and they also fall in between the cracks. They are too sick to get help by themselves but not sick enough to have it forced on them by the state. My schizophrenic aunt was one of them. She had to get too sick before the state could force treatment on her and before my grandparents could hospitalize her. Now she lives in a group home. She would probably be better off today if she got the help she needed when she was younger and she was hard to be medicated because she also has Bipolar and she would also stop taking her meds thinking she didn't need them anymore because she was doing better. Because she was too sick to get help when she needed it, she wasn't sick enough to be hospitalize against her will. Sadly some mentally ill people do slip in between the cracks because of this new law that is meant to protect mentally ill people.


QFT wrote:
But if it is only about mental illness, how do you explain why at least in some parts of the country it is mostly blacks or Mexicans that are homeless? Are you saying that the rate of mental illness among those races is higher? Or are you saying that the rate of mental illness among Whites is just as high, they simply have more access to treatment


I have actually seen white people that are homeless. Where I live, I have seen lot of white homeless people but they could also just be panhandling meaning they are not homeless but are just faking it to get money. It has been in the media about people faking being homeless and my mom has caught some faking it too because she would see them leave in their nice cars and getting dressed back into their nice clothes and someone else coming out of the car to take over their "job." To me while this is being dishonest, it's not laziness IMO because panhandling is hard work. It's very boring and you have to stand there all day waving signs and doing nothing.


Quote:
I guess if you say its the latter, then you would have to say that half of the country is mentally ill (after all, half of the blacks would be -- which implies that half of the Whites are mentally ill too, they just had it treated).


I said lot of homeless people have a mental illness. Addiction issues are also common too because they do drugs and drink to cope with the stress of being homeless. Lot of people assume they are homeless because they do drugs and drink than the other way around. Than they beg for money and spend it on drugs instead so they basically dig themselves deeper and deeper. I will see some begging to work for money or food. My husband has offered his lunch to a homeless person before and he turned it down when he was asking for money to eat. My husband than thought he probably just wanted to buy drugs. I also see some collecting cans so I guess that is better than drugs and they are trying to contribute and earn their own money.

Quote:
Now, I read the stats that a quarter of population have been diagnosed with "some" mental condition -- but I thought it was because they count really mild stuff like ADHD or personality disorders.


I think they are.

Quote:
If you just focus on schizophrenia you will get much more low statistics: I think its just one or two percents of population that are schizophrenic. And I would also think that having things like ADHD or personality disorder won't make one homeless: only schizophrenia would. So that brings back the question why is the rate of homelessness so high among hispanics and blacks? Lack of access to treatment won't increase schizophrenia rate beyond those one or two percents, since I would assume that people with successfully treated schizophrenia are counted there as well (or are you saying that assumption is wrong)?


If a schizophrenic goes untreated, they will get worse and worse. If they don't have family to help them out and that is there for them, they could end up in the streets. My aunt was lucky to have a supportive family and she got hospitalized than being homeless. Now she is in a group home. She was poor because of her illness and none of my aunts were poor nor was my uncle and my parents and her parents. I would call that a privilege she had. Despite that she was poor, she still had an apartment and had running water, and food on the table and electricity and still had warm water and I would say it was because maybe my mom's family helped paid for it and she never had to juggle any bills or have any late fees. School clothes were bought for her kids and so was groceries. I can remember when I helped my mother pick out new school clothes for my cousin and she tried them all on for her mother when we got back. Also Christmas presents was bought for them by their relatives but they still didn't get much. My mom didn't get much either for Christmas when she was a kid because she was one of the 6 kids in the family and her family wasn't even poor.

Also lot of homeless people are also veterans. I have noticed disabled elderly homeless.

League_Girl wrote:
Back then you could just put anyone in the hospital against their will and they were fine people and didn't need to be hospitalize so that is why a new law was imposed.


Quote:
I wasn't keeping track of it now, but I remember I was curious about those things back in 1997 and my online research back then seem to say that mentally ill people could still be hospitalized against their will -- it is simply that the number of people towards whom they chose to use that option was much lower than in the 60-s. So is the law you are referring to quite recent? When was it introduced?


No idea TBH. I know in the 90's you couldn't do it against their will unless they were sick enough because my grandfather couldn't make any hospitals keep her there. They would only release her after having her for 72 hrs because of the law. My aunt would get in trouble with the law for things and the police would always bring her to the hospital instead. I have no idea what crimes she was committing except the time she washed her car naked because she didn't want to do laundry. My grandparents were called by her neighbors, police were called and she was taken in. Then in 1997, he was finally able to hospitalize her and have them keep her there. She was there for 4 years.

League_Girl wrote:
I honestly think institutions should be brought back and before anyone jumps down on me, Dorothea Dix had this happen in the 1800's to keep them out of jails and since we had started to deinstitutionalize in the 1950's and Ronald Reagan finishing it off in the 1980's, mental illness behind bars have gone up and now prisons have become mental hospitals and mental institutions.

Bring them back but make them better for these people and the prison population will go down.


QFT wrote:
Me personally, I would explore the option of "forced hospitalization WITHOUT forced treatment". Because psychiatric treatment leaves permanent brain damage, while simply living in the hospital facility does not. So maybe one can use mental hospital in the same way one uses prison except that they wouldn't have to be around criminals and the living conditions there are much better -- since whatever they did wasn't their fault. I would even go as far as coming up with some programs that would allow people to take classes and get degrees while in the mental hospital. Basically live as normal life as possible, while at the same time protecting the society from them.



You can also get a degree inside prison too and I don't see the point in that if they have a life sentence and by the time they get out, they will be a senior citizen. But sometimes things turn around and they get out sooner like Paula Cooper did but she committed suicide sadly in her 40's shortly after her release because she had too much remorse for the crime she did as a teen. Her victim's grandson was sad about her death. He had forgiven her and was the one that helped get her out early. She has also earned a degree behind bars.

League_Girl wrote:
Quote:
By the way, back in the Soviet Union they didn't have homeless altogether. This was because they were giving appartments for free. But on a flip side you had to work in order to get an appartment since it was your boss who would decide what appartment to give you. So I guess, whatever it is they done, they did a pretty good job at making people work.


Some jobs do that here too like my dad had a car he drove when I was a baby his business gave him. Sometimes business provide things for you but when you quit or get fired, you have to give it back because it is their property. Like if you are a teacher, you are provided classroom furniture and computer and desk, textbooks, but the rest you buy for your own classroom like children books, other furniture, other classroom supplies. Only way to be provided a home is if you join the military or something. Then you and your whole family is given a house to live in they own.


QFT wrote:
Well, in Russia, the people that retire due to their old age still keep their apartments. As far as what happens to people that get fired, I have no idea, I never looked into that.

As far as people being given appartments in America I never heard of this.



The military does stuff like this except they provide houses.

Quote:
Or are you rather saying that only some jobs offer it but not all?


I have only heard of the military doing it. No other jobs do it.

League_Girl wrote:
Quote:
Incidentally, the reason I am back at school is that I really want to be a theoretical physicist and I can't find a job.


This proves exactly my point why we should provide for people in need. Not everyone is lazy or poor by choice. People need to get out of their heads that everyone just wants a handout so they wouldn't have to work. I find it hard to believe any liberal out there wants to provide for lazy people. We just want to help the unlucky ones and those who are disabled and will never climb up the social ladder.

I can tell you someone who I knew that was truly lazy was my ex because all he wanted to do was play computer games and didn't want to work and would rather work the only jobs that interest him, than work any job he can do and that he can find.


Quote:
Well, the sentence in bold applies to me too. I want to be a theoretical physicist -- which was my lifetime goal since I was 9 -- so I don't want to have any job thats not related to theoretical physics, since doing so would feel like throwing away my lifetime goal. But I guess its not about "interest" but more about the fact that my self esteem hangs on it. I mean, there are things that might "interest" me other than physics (and, conversely, its possible for me to get so tired of physics I would lose interest at least for a while), but I would still insist on only wanting to work as a physicist.


Sometimes you don't have a choice and you need to work to live, not sit at home and live off your partner's income and do nothing. I am not going to support someone who refuses to get a job. You can get a job and work that job until you do find the job you want. I wouldn't want that from my kids either when they are adults. I have heard of entitled kids who refuse to move out of their parents home and they sit at home and play video games and watch TV and won't go out and get a job and they blame it on their parents. I gotta agree there because they have always handed them everything, never taught them how to adult and some parents think that when you graduate high school and turn 18, you magically know how to adult and be independent. I am screaming at my TV set to change their darn locks and let them be homeless, let them figure it out, harsh I know but they are adults and aren't even trying for a job nor are they in school. But even students still work while going to school so they can pay for their supplies or pay for their living or so they have more freedom or pay for college of course.

I mean what about people who keep living off of state wages or off disability because they only want to work a job that interests them and not work any other job they can do? Often people complain about lazy people on welfare who won't work. I would call this one of them.


League_Girl wrote:
After finding out he had undiagnosed schizophrenia, I wonder if that was why he was "lazy." With schizophrenia, they have what they call negative symptoms and one of them is lack of motivation in life like self help care, daily living, working a job, chores and they can appear very lazy because of their mental illness. That negative symptom can also be mistaken as depression. He also thought everything should be handed out to everyone and that included game systems and everything he wanted and thought we should have no money. I totally disagreed with him and told him this wouldn't work and look at what happened to Cuba and Russia. I don't know any liberal who would also think this is a great idea my ex had. But that could have been part of his illness too.


Quote:
Well, where do you draw a line between mental condition and laziness. What if we weren't talking about schizophrenia but rather about something mild. Like how to you distinguish a simple introversion from "schizoid personality disorder", or how do you distinguish a simple lack of concentration from ADHD? Or are you saying that in his case he would no longer be lazy once his "episodes" are over? That would make it more obvious.


I am saying his behavior might not have been laziness at all and it could have been his undiagnosed mental illness. But he was so mild then, I didn't notice but my mom noticed it because she has been around schizophrenics. I remember her telling me he had more than just ADHD. Back then I thought she was calling his laziness a mental illness and thought it was BS. Now I know it was more than just being lazy and I didn't understand it. I was hurt by him for a very long time because I felt used by him and used as his meal ticket and he wanted someone to take care of him and be his mother than wanting a partner. I also felt he had manipulated me and played me like a fiddle when in fact he wanted to work and I was helping him apply for jobs and he got a job and then he got himself fired. Then after that he never worked again. He was always complaining about his work as he was employed and I told him he couldn't quit unless he found another job first. I was very confused by his actions because of the contradictions and then I thought he had manipulated me and it was all an act at the beginning. My parents still think he was a jerk and a misogynist because of this behavior. So I forgive him now even if I will never know if that was his illness or if he was just a jerk who liked taking advantage of people. Anyone can be a jerk. Now I hear his mom is taking care of his daily needs and she can't even hold down a job to support herself because she is taking care of him in his own apartment. I wonder why isn't the state getting involved here by having someone take care of his needs for her? (rhetorical question) So this is why I am saying his laziness could have just been his illness I didn't know about since his mother is now taking care of him. It also sounded like he had gotten worse because his diagnoses is paranoid schizophrenia. Back then he only had crazy thoughts and conspiracies and his thoughts were also disorganized. I thought he had some form of OCD since he was always worrying about stuff like calling his bank every twenty minutes to be sure his money was still safe and no one had taken his identity or worrying someone is going to break into my grandparents chicken house and take his swords or take them from my grandparents basement. I eventually started to think he was on the schizophrenia spectrum but didn't think he had schizophrenia and he had perhaps paranoid disorder or disorganized thinking disorder or schizotypical. But nope it was paranoid schizophrenia so that indicates he got worse and he probably was getting worse when we were together so that would explain the contradiction in his behavior. I remember he had stopped bathing and brushing his teeth and hair and when I had saw him last time, his hair was a mess because he didn't feel like brushing it. I just brushed it off as laziness then because I used to not brush my hair because I hated the tangles and it hurt to brush it and I preferred brushing it when dry. I keep my hair cut short for this reason so it's quick to brush, same as after my shower. I used to just have my husband brush my hair for me when it was long.


Either way is considered ableism so there is no win here. Ableism for blaming this behavior on a illness and ableism for saying he manipulated me and that he was lazy and wanted a handout from me. This would be based on opinions.


Quote:
P.S. I have a cousin who lives in Russia, who is bipolar. So what he did was that he went to a mental hospital just so that he can make his mental illness official and get government help on this basis. I don't know whether American government has similar policies, but this seems to be a solution: instead of helping all low income people indistinguishably, just help the ones whom doctors deem as incapable of work.



That's good he was able to check himself in, people do that here too because they want to get better and be "normal." They want to function, want their doctor to find them the right medication so they can be "normal" and function. I have seen posts online by people saying how they checked themselves in to get better. Since we don't have national healthcare, I wonder if they have to pay for their own treatment after the deductible and even medical bills can be expensive and put you in life debt after the deductible. I say people can't afford to get sick in the US or even get into an accident. This is another reason why liberals want national healthcare. You can be high in income and then end up in the low class when you get into an accident and end up with a $1,000,000 medical bill after the deductible or end up with a bill over $200,000 and you are now disabled from the accident.


_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed and ASD lv 1.

Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.


QFT
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11 Aug 2019, 3:35 am

League_Girl wrote:
Me and my husband are disabled and will never be able to do college and have a higher paying job like they did and like my brothers do.


I am so sorry to hear about this. What kind of disability do the two of you have?

League_Girl wrote:
My brother used to be poor but then he did online schooling and started working for some electronic place and he has an aspie gift (he is NT) for visualizing things and can see details and patterns and he used that gift to succeed in his job. Now he is part of the management team and makes more money. It's a tech business he works for. I don't have this gift.


Did he start the business himself or did he join the existing one?

League_Girl wrote:
My other brother you could say was poor because he was supported by my parents income while he was going to law school and studying. He wouldn't have done it without their help.


So is he a lawyer as of now or what does he do?

League_Girl wrote:
my in laws are disabled and so is my sister in law due to being hit by a car when she was 7.


I am sorry that it happened. Was your husband hit by the car as well -- is this what you were referring to when you said he is disabled?

League_Girl wrote:
I have actually seen white people that are homeless. Where I live, I have seen lot of white homeless people but they could also just be panhandling meaning they are not homeless but are just faking it to get money. It has been in the media about people faking being homeless and my mom has caught some faking it too because she would see them leave in their nice cars and getting dressed back into their nice clothes and someone else coming out of the car to take over their "job."


You just reminded me of something I read on the internet about some "homeless" guy who was earning a really impressive salary that way. I don't remember the number, I read it like a year ago, but it was like several times more than average person. I am not sure how common that is though. My gut feeling tells me that most homeless people I see are, in fact, poor; but then again I am rather naive and tend to take things on a face value.

League_Girl wrote:
To me while this is being dishonest, it's not laziness IMO because panhandling is hard work. It's very boring and you have to stand there all day waving signs and doing nothing.


Even if its not laziness, how would it be any better?

League_Girl wrote:
I said lot of homeless people have a mental illness. Addiction issues are also common too because they do drugs and drink to cope with the stress of being homeless. Lot of people assume they are homeless because they do drugs and drink than the other way around. Than they beg for money and spend it on drugs instead so they basically dig themselves deeper and deeper.


Yeah, I also think it is drugs. I guess from my perspective -- even if doing drugs is a reaction to stress -- its still a choice. I mean, I know I wouldn't do drugs no matter what, to me drugs just isn't an option period.

League_Girl wrote:
My husband has offered his lunch to a homeless person before and he turned it down when he was asking for money to eat. My husband than thought he probably just wanted to buy drugs.


Yeah, I heard of such incidents too. What puzzles me is why do they shoot themselves in the foot this way? Wouldn't it be more logical to accept food in order to keep up their lie going? And extra food would never hurt, especially not in their situation?

League_Girl wrote:
I also see some collecting cans so I guess that is better than drugs and they are trying to contribute and earn their own money.


What is "collective can"?

League_Girl wrote:
If a schizophrenic goes untreated, they will get worse and worse. If they don't have family to help them out and that is there for them, they could end up in the streets. My aunt was lucky to have a supportive family and she got hospitalized than being homeless. Now she is in a group home. She was poor because of her illness and none of my aunts were poor nor was my uncle and my parents and her parents. I would call that a privilege she had. Despite that she was poor, she still had an apartment and had running water, and food on the table and electricity and still had warm water and I would say it was because maybe my mom's family helped paid for it and she never had to juggle any bills or have any late fees. School clothes were bought for her kids and so was groceries. I can remember when I helped my mother pick out new school clothes for my cousin and she tried them all on for her mother when we got back. Also Christmas presents was bought for them by their relatives but they still didn't get much. My mom didn't get much either for Christmas when she was a kid because she was one of the 6 kids in the family and her family wasn't even poor.


It sounds like your family was very different than mine. In my case I am the only child, my parents were the only children, and the only relatives I knew were second cousins through my grandmothers sister. So my parents are way over protective and I am quite spoiled LOL.

But in any case I am glad that your family was able to take care of your cousin and make her feel provided for, despite her mother being mentally ill and all that. How about the actual parenting? How did your cousin handle it when her mother had episodes, particularly when she was little? Or was she being taken to her relatives?

League_Girl wrote:
No idea TBH. I know in the 90's you couldn't do it against their will unless they were sick enough because my grandfather couldn't make any hospitals keep her there. They would only release her after having her for 72 hrs because of the law.


Does the law says "at least" 72 hours or does it say "at most" 72 hours? And is it referring to when your grandfather brings her there or the police?

League_Girl wrote:
Then in 1997, he was finally able to hospitalize her and have them keep her there. She was there for 4 years.


Did they just give her medications or did they give her shock therapy as well? Were there side effects?

League_Girl wrote:
You can also get a degree inside prison too and I don't see the point in that if they have a life sentence and by the time they get out, they will be a senior citizen.


I guess I keep projecting my own preferences on others and I guess "in my case" it would very much "be" worth it to get a degree even in that hypothetical situation of being confined to prison for life. Because you see, in my case I want to do theoretical physics, which means making publications. So as long as I can send papers to publications from prison, that would be worth it. Or even if they won't let me do that, learning is worth it for its own purpose. I guess for me learning is a goal while job is just a means to get money. But I guess others don't seem to see it this way.

By the way I heard a story of someone who went to prison for a year and he was only allowed to take one book with him -- so he took graduate level algebra book by Lang (don't confuse it with algebra you see in high school, you won't know what it is unless you encounter it in the third or fourth year of university -- and its super hard, for me anyway -- and then graduate level algebra is only that much harder). Now, abstract algebra is "not" my strong suit (I am more of a geometry/analysis person) so I was never able to understand Lang's algebra beyond first few chapters -- which I guess is fine since I don't specialize in it anyway. But when I heard that story, it sort of made me wonder: what if I was in jail for a year with nothing but Lang's algebra book in front of me, maybe I would be able to learn it then, as I won't have any disractions. And then it would almost be like a reward rather than a punishment.

League_Girl wrote:
But sometimes things turn around and they get out sooner like Paula Cooper did but she committed suicide sadly in her 40's shortly after her release because she had too much remorse for the crime she did as a teen. Her victim's grandson was sad about her death. He had forgiven her and was the one that helped get her out early. She has also earned a degree behind bars.


I never heard of her, but I just googled her, sounds like an interesting story, I will try and read it. And yes I kinda feel sad for her and the whole situation.

League_Girl wrote:
The military does stuff like this except they provide houses.

Quote:
Or are you rather saying that only some jobs offer it but not all?


I have only heard of the military doing it. No other jobs do it.


Well, back in the soviet union all jobs did that, not just military.

League_Girl wrote:
Quote:
Well, the sentence in bold applies to me too. I want to be a theoretical physicist -- which was my lifetime goal since I was 9 -- so I don't want to have any job thats not related to theoretical physics, since doing so would feel like throwing away my lifetime goal. But I guess its not about "interest" but more about the fact that my self esteem hangs on it. I mean, there are things that might "interest" me other than physics (and, conversely, its possible for me to get so tired of physics I would lose interest at least for a while), but I would still insist on only wanting to work as a physicist.


Sometimes you don't have a choice and you need to work to live, not sit at home and live off your partner's income and do nothing. I am not going to support someone who refuses to get a job. You can get a job and work that job until you do find the job you want. I wouldn't want that from my kids either when they are adults.


Well I do have my own income. In particular, as a graduate student, I am a TA (teaching assistent) so I have a salary that covers my tuition as well as gives me some money on top. The problem though is that the salary I get as a TA is a lot lower than the salary people get when they do full time job, so if I want to spend something extra like go to the conferences and stuff like that, then my mom would have to help me pay off my credit card. But I guess you might argue that my situation is similar to your older brother's situation when the parents have to help while someone is at school (in fact I heard that in law school they don't give TA-s the salary that they give at other graduate schools so I imagine your brother was probably more of a burden than me).

At the same time, the way in which I am "worse" than your brother is that your brother was doing his first degree and I am doing the second one: I already have physics Ph.D. and I am getting second Ph.D. in math which I don't need nearly as much as the first degree. I guess my reasons for doing it is that I hope that, as a grad student, the profs are responsible for me, so they might help me get the papers published, and that way I would be more qualified to apply for professor job once I am out of school. That, plus also like I mentioned they pay me as a TA, so that I don't have to look for the jobs while I am still at school. Since lack of publications is what is holding me back, I don't see how I would ever be able to catch up if I had a full time job that takes my whole day. On the other hand if I am a TA then it only takes few hours a week and I have the rest of the time to do whatever catching up I have to do. It would have been better if I made better progress during my first degree so that I won't be in this situation, but better late then never.

I guess if it won't work out after the second Ph.D., one of the possibilities I am thinking of is to do a third ph.d.: the third one would be in philosophy. What I am trying to do is keep doing physics while calling it something else. Like right now I do ph.d. in math but I am trying to make it mathematical physics. By the same token, if/when I will do ph.d. in philosophy it would be philosophy of physics. Then the other option is to get postdocs. After my first ph.d. I couldn't get any postdocs in the US so I became desperate and got one in India. Perhaps I could do something like that again. I know I can't become a professor in India though since they have a strict policy that only Indian citizens can become professor and you have to live there for 12 years to become a citizen. But I guess I can look for other third world countries where I could become a professor. And while I would be looking, I would be a postdoc in India or wherever -- and yes postdocs get paid too.

So as you see I am not trying to avoid working, I am just trying to stick to either grad school or postdoc -- and both of them come with a small salary.

League_Girl wrote:
I have heard of entitled kids who refuse to move out of their parents home and they sit at home and play video games and watch TV and won't go out and get a job and they blame it on their parents.


Well, I DID move out of my home: the school that I go to is in a different state from where my mom lives. And I don't play video games all day: I am trying to study and work on my publications -- but I won't have time to do it if I had full time job.

League_Girl wrote:
I gotta agree there because they have always handed them everything, never taught them how to adult and some parents think that when you graduate high school and turn 18, you magically know how to adult and be independent.


Well, in case of my parents, they "didn't" think I would magically become independent -- instead, they were planning to always taking care of me my whole life. I was living at home when I did my undergrad, but then when I left home to go to grad school it was a big fight: my mom didn't want me to leave -- she wanted me to stay an undergrad a year longer so that I could get into grad school close to home -- but I didn't listen to her and left anyway. But she treats me like a little kid even now during my visits to her: like she reminds me to tie my shoes and so forht. I find it super frustrating but I don't know what to do to stop her.

League_Girl wrote:
But even students still work while going to school so they can pay for their supplies or pay for their living or so they have more freedom or pay for college of course.


Well, "graduate" students don't need to work since they are getting paid for being TA-s (well, at least thats how it is done in math and physics departments). The undergrads would have to work, yes; but I didn't have to work as an undergrad either since (i) I got full scholarship and (ii) I was living at home. But no, I didn't live at home as a grad student: all the grad schools I went to were few states away from home (and then I did my postdoc in India which was even further away).

League_Girl wrote:
I mean what about people who keep living off of state wages or off disability because they only want to work a job that interests them and not work any other job they can do?


I would never apply for disability. I don't want to have that kind of record. Having my mom help me out is different since she isn't going to make a record about it.

League_Girl wrote:
I am saying his behavior might not have been laziness at all and it could have been his undiagnosed mental illness. But he was so mild then, I didn't notice but my mom noticed it because she has been around schizophrenics. I remember her telling me he had more than just ADHD. Back then I thought she was calling his laziness a mental illness and thought it was BS. Now I know it was more than just being lazy and I didn't understand it. I was hurt by him for a very long time because I felt used by him and used as his meal ticket and he wanted someone to take care of him and be his mother than wanting a partner. I also felt he had manipulated me and played me like a fiddle when in fact he wanted to work and I was helping him apply for jobs and he got a job and then he got himself fired. Then after that he never worked again. He was always complaining about his work as he was employed and I told him he couldn't quit unless he found another job first. I was very confused by his actions because of the contradictions and then I thought he had manipulated me and it was all an act at the beginning. My parents still think he was a jerk and a misogynist because of this behavior. So I forgive him now even if I will never know if that was his illness or if he was just a jerk who liked taking advantage of people. Anyone can be a jerk. Now I hear his mom is taking care of his daily needs and she can't even hold down a job to support herself because she is taking care of him in his own apartment. I wonder why isn't the state getting involved here by having someone take care of his needs for her? (rhetorical question) So this is why I am saying his laziness could have just been his illness I didn't know about since his mother is now taking care of him. It also sounded like he had gotten worse because his diagnoses is paranoid schizophrenia. Back then he only had crazy thoughts and conspiracies and his thoughts were also disorganized. I thought he had some form of OCD since he was always worrying about stuff like calling his bank every twenty minutes to be sure his money was still safe and no one had taken his identity or worrying someone is going to break into my grandparents chicken house and take his swords or take them from my grandparents basement. I eventually started to think he was on the schizophrenia spectrum but didn't think he had schizophrenia and he had perhaps paranoid disorder or disorganized thinking disorder or schizotypical. But nope it was paranoid schizophrenia so that indicates he got worse and he probably was getting worse when we were together so that would explain the contradiction in his behavior.


I am so sorry you went through this. I know you mentioned schizotypal yourself and said no its schizophrenia. But are you sure? I mean, if he didn't have hallucinations but only some paranoid thoughts, then to me it sounds more like schizotypal.

In any case, to me it sounds like he "did" use and manipulate you. Yes, he can be mentally ill, but mentally ill people can be jerks too. In any case I am glad you are out of it.

So when did you finally find your current husband? For how long were you married -- and how long ago did you date that schizophrenic guy?

League_Girl wrote:
I remember he had stopped bathing and brushing his teeth and hair and when I had saw him last time, his hair was a mess because he didn't feel like brushing it. I just brushed it off as laziness then because I used to not brush my hair because I hated the tangles and it hurt to brush it and I preferred brushing it when dry. I keep my hair cut short for this reason so it's quick to brush, same as after my shower. I used to just have my husband brush my hair for me when it was long.


My hair is naturally curly, so even when I do brush it, it just stays curly, so I gave up and stopped brushing it. But I know people judge me for my messy hair, when I was asking why don't girls approach me, sometimes I was told my hair is messy. And I always felt its unfair since in my case its just the structure of my hair. So are you saying that -- in their mind -- they might suspect I am schizophrenic for not brushing it (well, nobody ever told me they think I am schizophrenic, but are you saying they "do" think that and are just too polite to say it?)



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11 Aug 2019, 4:22 pm

QFT wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
Me and my husband are disabled and will never be able to do college and have a higher paying job like they did and like my brothers do.


I am so sorry to hear about this. What kind of disability do the two of you have?


Husband: brain damage with 3 different learning disabilities, seizures, anxiety, chronic pain due to birth defects in his feet.

Me: Learning disability, anxiety, ADD, ASD.




League_Girl wrote:
My brother used to be poor but then he did online schooling and started working for some electronic place and he has an aspie gift (he is NT) for visualizing things and can see details and patterns and he used that gift to succeed in his job. Now he is part of the management team and makes more money. It's a tech business he works for. I don't have this gift.


Quote:
Did he start the business himself or did he join the existing one?


Joined existing one and I told my mother he can start his own business if he can't find a job he moves to to be with his fiance.

League_Girl wrote:
My other brother you could say was poor because he was supported by my parents income while he was going to law school and studying. He wouldn't have done it without their help.


Quote:
So is he a lawyer as of now or what does he do?


He is a tribal lawyer.

League_Girl wrote:
my in laws are disabled and so is my sister in law due to being hit by a car when she was 7.


Quote:
I am sorry that it happened. Was your husband hit by the car as well -- is this what you were referring to when you said he is disabled?


No, she was following him and a drunk driver hit her and she flew in the air and hit one of those reflector things on the road. he was sued and his family was given money for it. Years later the sister in law inherited it when she was an adult and blew it on going to Disneyland and got in a car accident on the way. She has pretty much totaled every car she has owned so I know it's gotta be her. She didn't get to see Disneyland. My husband got disabled at birth due to brain damage because he didn't get any oxygen when the cord ripped from the uterus in his mother because she was coughing too hard. He had to be delivered early as a result and was 2 month premature and he would have been dead if he were born in a regular hospital. They didn't have that care back in the 70's and his dad was in the military so that was how he survived. They had medical specialists there.




League_Girl wrote:
My husband has offered his lunch to a homeless person before and he turned it down when he was asking for money to eat. My husband than thought he probably just wanted to buy drugs.


Quote:
Yeah, I heard of such incidents too. What puzzles me is why do they shoot themselves in the foot this way? Wouldn't it be more logical to accept food in order to keep up their lie going? And extra food would never hurt, especially not in their situation?


Well they see different people every day so it doesn't matter to them but they don't realize the same people notice them so they see their scam quickly. But there are always different people. And they probably do have a home but they are just pretending to be poor and are begging for money. I think a truly homeless person would take food or even a restaurant gift card.

League_Girl wrote:
I also see some collecting cans so I guess that is better than drugs and they are trying to contribute and earn their own money.


What is "collective can"?

Here in my area, you get money when you turn in bottles and cans. So some poor or homeless people collect them. I know someone at my work who takes cans from recycling bins and I also find some for her too at work as I clean.

League_Girl wrote:
If a schizophrenic goes untreated, they will get worse and worse. If they don't have family to help them out and that is there for them, they could end up in the streets. My aunt was lucky to have a supportive family and she got hospitalized than being homeless. Now she is in a group home. She was poor because of her illness and none of my aunts were poor nor was my uncle and my parents and her parents. I would call that a privilege she had. Despite that she was poor, she still had an apartment and had running water, and food on the table and electricity and still had warm water and I would say it was because maybe my mom's family helped paid for it and she never had to juggle any bills or have any late fees. School clothes were bought for her kids and so was groceries. I can remember when I helped my mother pick out new school clothes for my cousin and she tried them all on for her mother when we got back. Also Christmas presents was bought for them by their relatives but they still didn't get much. My mom didn't get much either for Christmas when she was a kid because she was one of the 6 kids in the family and her family wasn't even poor.


Quote:
It sounds like your family was very different than mine. In my case I am the only child, my parents were the only children, and the only relatives I knew were second cousins through my grandmothers sister. So my parents are way over protective and I am quite spoiled LOL.

But in any case I am glad that your family was able to take care of your cousin and make her feel provided for, despite her mother being mentally ill and all that. How about the actual parenting? How did your cousin handle it when her mother had episodes, particularly when she was little? Or was she being taken to her relatives?



Sadly my older cousin ended up being the caregiver of his mother and little sister and taking care of the meals and household and he missed lot of school for it. He got so far behind he had to drop out and he didn't tell anyone he wasn't going to school. He didn't want his mom to be taken and for a child to lose their parent is scary for them. By the time my mom's family found out, it was too late because he got so far behind he had dropped out. Also my aunt said if her kids were taken, she would kill herself because she can't go without them so everyone was too afraid to just take my cousins and take care of them as their own. My oldest aunt did try to offer to have the oldest live with them and her younger sister wouldn't have it.

They had a dad too but he was also poor and was too poor to take care of two kids which I don't understand because they give you a hand out for it like food stamps and they get free healthcare from the state. When my aunt got hospitalized, my cousin went to live with my grandparents and her brother went to live with their father because he could only afford to take care of one child. I don't know much about their father except his mom worked a lot and his dad was an alcoholic so he would beat him up. He divorced my aunt because she got violent with him and he couldn't relive his childhood. He left their kids with her and she didn't abuse them unless you count neglect. Her oldest child ended up being her caretaker when she got sicker and got too sick to take care of herself and he had to protect her to be sure she didn't cause any trouble or get in trouble with the law.

Now the kids are distance and have their own kids but they are both poor and my oldest aunt thinks they would be doing better if their mother was functional but she wasn't so that affected them too because they didn't have proper care and parenting. My other aunt did not invite my two cousins to her wedding reception because they don't stay in contact with family so they have become strangers. I even heard my girl cousin lost custody of her kids to their father and no one in my family knew why it happened and how. I have her on my facebook friends.


League_Girl wrote:
No idea TBH. I know in the 90's you couldn't do it against their will unless they were sick enough because my grandfather couldn't make any hospitals keep her there. They would only release her after having her for 72 hrs because of the law.


Quote:
Does the law says "at least" 72 hours or does it say "at most" 72 hours? And is it referring to when your grandfather brings her there or the police?



The law is you have to hold a patient there for 72 hrs after they had been brought in and then you release them. She would be brought in by the police.

League_Girl wrote:
Then in 1997, he was finally able to hospitalize her and have them keep her there. She was there for 4 years.


Quote:
Did they just give her medications or did they give her shock therapy as well? Were there side effects?



I have no idea what treatment they gave her there. No one has ever told me what they do there.



Quote:
So as you see I am not trying to avoid working, I am just trying to stick to either grad school or postdoc -- and both of them come with a small salary.


I think there is a difference in working on getting a degree and trying to finish school than what my ex was doing. If you have a family that will support you and they have money, you have an easier time in finishing school and studying and for some people it takes them longer because they come from a poor family and they have to work and don't have as much time to study so it takes them longer to finish or they don't get a big degree and don't get a high pay job because it would take them too long if they kept going. My brother would not have as a high of degree in law if he hadn't done law school and therefore he would be earning less money with his career. Because of my parents, he finished his education at 28 or 29 years of age. Now he has $95,000 student debt to pay off. He would have had more if my parents hadn't help pay for his schooling and if he hadn't won $40,000 in lottery from the state. He used that money for his schooling and it lasted him two years and then he put on his facebook "I am poor again in two years."


League_Girl wrote:
I mean what about people who keep living off of state wages or off disability because they only want to work a job that interests them and not work any other job they can do?


Quote:
I would never apply for disability. I don't want to have that kind of record. Having my mom help me out is different since she isn't going to make a record about it.



It sounds like what you are doing is totally different than my ex. I only have a problem with people leeching off the system or off their parents or the state because they don't want to work so they use other people and they are not even studying and not even in school.




League_Girl wrote:
I am saying his behavior might not have been laziness at all and it could have been his undiagnosed mental illness. But he was so mild then, I didn't notice but my mom noticed it because she has been around schizophrenics. I remember her telling me he had more than just ADHD. Back then I thought she was calling his laziness a mental illness and thought it was BS. Now I know it was more than just being lazy and I didn't understand it. I was hurt by him for a very long time because I felt used by him and used as his meal ticket and he wanted someone to take care of him and be his mother than wanting a partner. I also felt he had manipulated me and played me like a fiddle when in fact he wanted to work and I was helping him apply for jobs and he got a job and then he got himself fired. Then after that he never worked again. He was always complaining about his work as he was employed and I told him he couldn't quit unless he found another job first. I was very confused by his actions because of the contradictions and then I thought he had manipulated me and it was all an act at the beginning. My parents still think he was a jerk and a misogynist because of this behavior. So I forgive him now even if I will never know if that was his illness or if he was just a jerk who liked taking advantage of people. Anyone can be a jerk. Now I hear his mom is taking care of his daily needs and she can't even hold down a job to support herself because she is taking care of him in his own apartment. I wonder why isn't the state getting involved here by having someone take care of his needs for her? (rhetorical question) So this is why I am saying his laziness could have just been his illness I didn't know about since his mother is now taking care of him. It also sounded like he had gotten worse because his diagnoses is paranoid schizophrenia. Back then he only had crazy thoughts and conspiracies and his thoughts were also disorganized. I thought he had some form of OCD since he was always worrying about stuff like calling his bank every twenty minutes to be sure his money was still safe and no one had taken his identity or worrying someone is going to break into my grandparents chicken house and take his swords or take them from my grandparents basement. I eventually started to think he was on the schizophrenia spectrum but didn't think he had schizophrenia and he had perhaps paranoid disorder or disorganized thinking disorder or schizotypical. But nope it was paranoid schizophrenia so that indicates he got worse and he probably was getting worse when we were together so that would explain the contradiction in his behavior.


Quote:
I am so sorry you went through this. I know you mentioned schizotypal yourself and said no its schizophrenia. But are you sure? I mean, if he didn't have hallucinations but only some paranoid thoughts, then to me it sounds more like schizotypal.


His parents divorce document said he had been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. I found it online when I googled his name. That was how I also found out his living situation too and his mom needing to take care of his daily needs and how she can't keep steady employment due to her son.


Quote:
So when did you finally find your current husband? For how long were you married -- and how long ago did you date that schizophrenic guy?


We met in 2007 and we got married two years later. I met my ex in 2006 on myspace and we met up and we were only together for 3 months.



[/quote]
League_Girl wrote:
I remember he had stopped bathing and brushing his teeth and hair and when I had saw him last time, his hair was a mess because he didn't feel like brushing it. I just brushed it off as laziness then because I used to not brush my hair because I hated the tangles and it hurt to brush it and I preferred brushing it when dry. I keep my hair cut short for this reason so it's quick to brush, same as after my shower. I used to just have my husband brush my hair for me when it was long.


Quote:
My hair is naturally curly, so even when I do brush it, it just stays curly, so I gave up and stopped brushing it. But I know people judge me for my messy hair, when I was asking why don't girls approach me, sometimes I was told my hair is messy. And I always felt its unfair since in my case its just the structure of my hair. So are you saying that -- in their mind -- they might suspect I am schizophrenic for not brushing it (well, nobody ever told me they think I am schizophrenic, but are you saying they "do" think that and are just too polite to say it?)



I don't think anyone is going to look at a person with messy hair and think "Gosh, he is a schizophrenic" but think you are lazy instead or don't care about your appearance.


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11 Aug 2019, 6:55 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I don’t believe in government-implemented morality....but there must be SOME moral basis in anything we do or believe in.

Unbridled immorality is dangerous, indeed.


The government does implement the law and punishment against those who murder, for example. There is a moral basis for it. The "government-imposed morality" narrative isn't always a good one.



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11 Aug 2019, 9:58 pm

I'd not worry about the labels. Since before my time conservatives have labeled liberals as communists, and liberals have labeled conservatives as nazis. I think we conservatives got the better label. Just look at the uniforms and that says it all.


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11 Aug 2019, 10:46 pm

Raptor wrote:
I'd not worry about the labels. Since before my time conservatives have labeled liberals as communists, and liberals have labeled conservatives as nazis. I think we conservatives got the better label. Just look at the uniforms and that says it all.


Both comparisons are wrong, however they are wrong in a different way:

a) As far as comparison between conservatives and Nazi, it is the case of a difference between necessary and sufficient. It is true that most nazi are conservative -- but it is false that most conservatives are nazi. To back it up, it is true that most people in neo-nazi groups vote republican, yet it is false that most people that vote repulican favor neo-nazi groups: after all, republicans are 50% of the country, while neo-nazis are only a very small percentage. Thus, you might say, that neo-nazis are a very small part of Republicans.

b) As far as comparison between communists and liberals, it is wrong in BOTH directions. In particular, it is NOT true that most communists vote democrat. Case in point: Putin supported Trump, and Putin is ex-KGB agent. Its true that Putin is no longer a communist (although he used to be many years ago). But I just don't see why people that "are" currently communist would vote democrat. I mean, I don't remember any of this talk about gay rights and black rights and all that stuff back when I was in Russia -- it seems to be an American obsession. So you can no longer say that communists are a small portion of liberals, they seem to be like an entirely different animal.

So to sum it up, while its true that neo-nazi groups vote for Trump, its not true that communists vote for Hillary. Thats why the communist part is harder to get.



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15 Aug 2019, 4:34 am

The problem is that 'liberal' is generally used as a blanket term for all forms of leftism, both mild and radical, in the United States. It's particularly amusing to hear terms such as 'economically liberal' (which, in most of the world, refers to deregulation) as they are understood in the United States. I've even heard and seen the phrase 'neoliberal' used by Americans to refer to the politics of radical leftists, even though it's often an anti-capitalist buzzword of the actual radical left.



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15 Aug 2019, 6:29 am

Ever heard of the China's "Hundred Flowers Campaign" campaign? That's the true face of communism, a bunch of deceivable hypocrites.



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17 Aug 2019, 4:06 pm

JD12345 wrote:
The problem is that 'liberal' is generally used as a blanket term for all forms of leftism, both mild and radical, in the United States. It's particularly amusing to hear terms such as 'economically liberal' (which, in most of the world, refers to deregulation) as they are understood in the United States. I've even heard and seen the phrase 'neoliberal' used by Americans to refer to the politics of radical leftists, even though it's often an anti-capitalist buzzword of the actual radical left.


Being American I sympathize with the sentiment about the term "liberal". But in the earlier half of the 20th century our own left has re-appropriated the term and it has got to the point where "liberal" becomes synonymous with America's left.



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05 Nov 2019, 11:31 pm

All those gay rights and multiculturalist nonesense was unthinkable in the soviet times, thats all I am trying to say. Unlike people today, Soviets had high standards, both culturally and educationally. I wish I could go back to the good old Soviet union. I miss it!! !

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iT9YsN21Tyg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tXfQxidhVEg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7A4uy6Nw0k



Roboto
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13 Nov 2019, 12:38 pm

QFT wrote:
All those gay rights and multiculturalist nonesense was unthinkable in the soviet times, thats all I am trying to say. Unlike people today, Soviets had high standards, both culturally and educationally. I wish I could go back to the good old Soviet union. I miss it!! !

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iT9YsN21Tyg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tXfQxidhVEg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7A4uy6Nw0k


Seriously?
You're advocating that a government should offer less rights to people who want to have sex with their own gender?
Why do you care what other people do with their free will?
What do you have against freedom?



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13 Nov 2019, 2:24 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Ever heard of the China's "Hundred Flowers Campaign" campaign? That's the true face of communism, a bunch of deceivable hypocrites.

This.

This thread seems to be more about "I'm nostalgic about my childhood" and I don't give a s**t about other people's rights or the devastation and destruction caused by a murderous regime.


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