Is it sexist to use the word "girl" in reference to adult

Post Reply New Topic

To be seen as being "one of the lads" is very complimentary--am I right?

I believe "bloke" is used in the UK to mean "guy"----but in a somewhat rougher sense than "lad."

In the previous generation, "buddy" was used a lot to mean a generic male person. If you wanted to be condescending, you might call a guy "Jack"--as in "That's right, Jack!"

In "The Catcher in the Rye," the main character, an adolescent male, was called "chief" by an older man who was trying to "teach" him the 'facts of life."

"Lass" is very common, especially, in Scotland.

I learned, through a movie, that young woman are also called "hens" in Scotland. I sense that it is used in a condescending, sexist way.

Here is a specific example that happened just now. So I was talking on dating site to two women: one in Texas (age 39) the other in Latvia (age 35). I noticed similarities in their personalities so I sent message to both of them listing all the ways in which they are similar and asking them to talk to each other. The one in Latvia said she won't talk to her unless she messages her first, the one in Texas said what I did was rude since it sounded like I did all of this for research.

But, back to the topic of this post. The one in Texas said "girls don't like being compared" (emphasis added). So why did she use the word "girl"?

I'm saying that society has sexist standards which get embedded into subconscious standards about what people want in partners.

In a less sexist society, the amount of men seeking rich women and women seeking rich men would be equal, the same with youth and beauty. Probably everyone would look for a mix of all three.

In our society, we've been brought up since childhood on tales of beautiful servant girls winning the hearts of princes who sweep them off their feet and take them to live in castles. Then it becomes a case of finding the strong man/rich man or finding the young, beautiful woman.

'Professional' isn't typically valued in a woman as much as 'young' or 'beautiful'. So she's trying to seem young and pretty to you. She doesn't care if you think she's serious about her work.

Even the other way round - a man would be signalling his wealth. That is all. Unless he's an athlete who can show off his muscles or he's famous and she can share his limelight. It's more about what a man's rewards are for his work, that he can share with the woman, rather than the work itself.

All this is pretty outdated nowadays. Things are becoming more of a mix especially in liberal areas. I know of famous fat women who are 'cougars' (not naming names so as not to be nasty) chasing after young nice looking 'boys'. But these are the typical patterns & why a woman would describe herself as a 'girl' on a dating site.

If she was going for promotion, she wouldn't say to her boss 'I am a hard working girl' because in that context, being professional would be more important than being young and pretty, so she'd say 'woman'.

Btw these patterns seem to even happen amongst gay couples. 'Twinks' pursued by wealthy men etc.

Standards for men and women are different in the dating world. Talking general patterns here not specifics.

Whether it's biological or sociological is a matter of debate. Feminists would likely say it's all sociological.

I think in terms of fertility, there's a biological reason why female beauty is linked in with youth more than male beauty is. (Although for sociological reasons - we don't say 'male beauty'. Handsomeness then)

In my experience women have low standards for the looks thing. So many times I'll look at someone they think is attractive & think 'no he's not' (I'm bi). Men seem to always have higher standards in the looks department of potential partners, so for eg gay men seem to have more similar tastes to me in boys or twinks or whatever you want to call younger grown men.

I think in terms of dating it's ok to be a bit unpc - and it will cut both ways and there's tastes for all sorts out there - but if you were an employer, you couldn't just say 'hiring only women between 20 and 30, must be attractive'. There was a time when you could, which is when all the 'don't call women girls' stuff originally came from, but we're past that now. A boss shouldn't go around calling his young female employees 'girls'. A guy can say 'I'm looking for a girl'. Different contexts.

Personally I find males from mid twenties on unattractive. I can only tell when someone is pretty - not ruggedly handsome. Very few men remain pretty very long. Rugged jawlines & muscles etc are attractive to a lot of people (mostly it's straight women who are into guys like that) but that's just not my type. So I'll say 'boys' or more likely 'lads'.

But clearly it's not universal that men are only into younger partners. Or you wouldn't have the cougar/milf/Mrs Robinson stereotype in the first place.

Basically what I'm saying is - dating and jobs are different. And that's why she's saying 'girl'. Esp if she's younger. She's signalling that youth as it's relevant when it comes to dating.