Do you know that the God of the Bible exists?

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I think spirituality, Biblical or not, is something that people really have to feel out. Its much less about the specific details and more constructing the overall picture and guess at the outerstructure in terms of what's really impacting your life, how its all built, and why. In that sense I think if choosing one prescribed view or another doesn't work and at heart you find yourself really at odds with it as well as the influences it has on the culture - if something gnaws at you about the reality it presents the best and probably only path to go is just feel it out on your own. Its putting your own due diligence in at trying to figure out just what's going on, what the real bottom line is, and continuing throughout life to be fascinated by the question and even if you feel like you've met a semi-stable conclusion for the time being one has to still keep an open mind.

Like for me, a lot of the stuff I just stated, if enough of the right things happen in the next 5 years that influence my views on this thing in one way or another, I could flip almost on a dime. Its not that I'm wavering or waffling IMO, and I won't blame myself for my view from the past versus the present just because you only know what you know at a given point and can only forge the connections and not just to literal facts but feel their much deeper relevance and driving force with time, its almost never automatic, instant, or something you can just attain in a few sitting just by willing yourself to find the answer. If the Bible is the book of the true God and the whole mystery of the pain and suffering on this earth is some way gets reconciled with me finding that there is a God who has a wonderful, benevolent nature and who loves us all infinitely, I at least trust now that since I've taken all the grime of life in that it will also be a view that encompasses that, deals with that, and has me feeling pretty content in that many of my biggest fundamental problems with that view are eased - I personally can't have faith in anything without that solid understanding. Not to say that ever will happen, just giving an example and IMO its kind of crazy to stick to a view right or wrong just because its what you've done in the past, yeah its safe but safe isn't growing, safe isn't living, safe isn't evolving, safe is really just collecting dust and possibly a good deal of spiritual atrophy (at least in the abstract emotional sense if such a thing doesn't literally exist).

Sorry if I came off as a evangelical freak. All I intended to do here was to push my beliefs out on the water to see if they float in my own personal pond. I didn't actually think that they would float in everyone else's ponds, but I wanted to know why because whether it seems like it here or not, I do actually care about honestly finding out what is true.