Children and Religion

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I'm interested in hearing opinions on how children should be raised with respect to religion. Typically, parents simply raise their kids to believe whatever they themselves do, but is that really what's best for the child? I suppose that if you have a firm belief in God and a religion that brings you peace and joy, you would feel as though you are giving your child a gift. But isn't religion the sort of thing that has to come from within to be authentic? What about the idea of teaching children about all religions academically and letting them choose for themselves later in life? I know there are certain traditions, rituals, etc. that are supposed to be started from birth, but are these practices truly in the best interest of the child?

Were any of you raised to believe something other than what you've come to believe now, and wish you're parents did it differently? I'm not trying to offend anyone as I respect each individual's right to believe what they choose. I simply tend to be hesitant to impose my beliefs on anyone else, or maybe it is a parent's responsibility? All thoughts are welcomed.

Children need some form of religious background simply to help them cope with things like death and morality. It makes sense for parents to choose the most familiar religious subjects (their own religions) to foster these beliefs.

I'm also firmly of the belief that children can benefit from understanding that there are much wider beliefs in the world. Not just other religions and other points of view but also mythology. I point out the failings in my own religion because I don't accept the fact that any religion is infallible. My children are taught to accept when it helps and question when it doesn't.

I expect they'll choose their own paths as they grow older but in the meantime, they need some form of coping mechanism.

Umm... I don't see how teaching a child a religion makes it so that they do not have a religion coming from within. That's how most adults, even highly religious adults, got into their religion. So, I don't see where the problem is, especially given that traditionally just about all religions were taught from youth. So, the notion that training a person from youth to have a religion is a problem isn't the traditional religion at all, but rather some idea that later people might try to impose upon it.


Well, there are a few issues:
1) Why would they just leave the child at home so they can go to church when they can drag the child with them and raise them within that community with all of the friends the adults have there and all of the friends the child can make there?
2) People of their religion often believe that their religion is right, and because of that teaching the child the other religions is worthless.
3) Who would teach the child the other religions from an academic standpoint? Do you expect every adult to hire a religion tutor? Isn't that slightly absurd?
4) Believers consider their inner-witness to be the source of knowledge and one from God, they may even consider "academic standpoints" to just be dishonest because they don't work from their religion standpoint, which is why some families even homeschool. Why would the refuse to expose their child to this great source of truth? It is just as absurd as refusing to teach a child to read, at least in their minds. Religions aren't decorations but rather they are truth-claims.


If the religion is correct, then yes. If a parent holds to a religion, then they implicitly claim the religion is correct. So, why would they ever disagree that these practices are in the best interest of the child?


Parents continually impose their beliefs on their children. Children, by lacking so much information, essentially are going to have their parents views on anything pressed upon them. Additionally, there is no neutral state, there are instincts, but obviously parents need to give information about how the world works, and this will always be biased. Additionally, this is the parent's responsibility under many religions, so to say that there is a moral problem with a matter is not to engage the thought process.

My sister didn't bring up my niece as religious.

However, after the death of her brother she went hysterical. Both my sister and brother in-law decided to tell her he went to heaven. I don't know what to tell her whenever she brings up the loss but ease her over by saying her brother is ok and is in a better place now. She's since then taken death with more of a positive attitude. She thinks her brother is having more fun than we are.

She's real young and very sharp. So this has always confused me...not so much religion but other factors revolved around life and death. It's just like telling your kid there is a santa. I know this is probably why I was much happier as a child. I didn't think the world was as harsh as I see it now. So sometimes I almost reflect myself onto her.

How do you respond to a kid who asks where you go after you die?

This question is still a hard issue for me to answere especially if someone close dies. This might sound delusional but I couldn't just sit there and tell her "I don't know because there is no sufficient evidence that you go anywhere when you die."

Yeah, that's an interesting question and I think that question may deserve a thread of its own.


That would be a terrible answer, but I suppose there are those who believe that what they consider their truth to be the best answer, the problem always lies with the belief system the parent may profess, if a skeptic has an agenda to debunk unproved beliefs, or to profess plain skepticism, answering his child may be a problem I think, because it could look like they contradict themselves, so I really don't know in cases like that. From my part, I would teach the child a more convenient and happier "truth" rather than an inconvenient one.

There are certain aspects of life that cannot be controlled by outside interference. If the raising of kids is left to a family the family has pretty much absolute control of what gets into their kids' heads. Nothing can be done about that.
My family never had anything to do with religious teaching and it never troubled me to face the fact that there is no heaven or hell or life after death. It wasn't comfortable, but I learned early that lots of things in life are very uncomfortable. Tough! Kids in general are more resilient than most people realize and their intelligence is easily demonstrated in the ease they acquire the basic skills of seeing, hearing, touching and communication in a world totally alien to them when they arrive. Babies are smart.
But people are individuals with individual sensitivities and it's pretty impossible to make generalizations for critical issues.

My children are christian and they know about heaven etc...

BUT

I told my children that since nobody has ever come back, some people don't believe in it.
some people think we come back as animals.
some people think we go somewhere else entirely

We don't know...

We can only have faith and we can only hope that our loved ones are taken care of.

They seemed ok with this.

It's only wrong if the religion being taught is false. If the religion is true, then of course parents want to impart this to their children. As everyone believes their own religion to be true (people are mostly incapable of knowingly holding false beliefs) so all parents will raise their children in their own religious beliefs.

EDIT: I'm guessing the OP is an atheist or agnostic. If she is not, the question makes little sense.

Aaah! If the religion is true. You present a good mind, Orwell. I'm disappointed. Perhaps you mean if the people are genuinely convinced. Like a great many fundamentalists of many different faiths.

Well, people obviously believe their own religion is true. If they didn't, they would not follow that religion. So the end result of this is that everyone believes they are doing the right thing by raising children in their own religion. To determine whether it actually is right or not, you have to first be able to make a determination about which (if any) religion is true.

OK. That's more like it.

"1) Why would they just leave the child at home so they can go to church when they can drag the child with them and raise them within that community with all of the friends the adults have there and all of the friends the child can make there? "

What if said child does not care about making friends? (like an aspie?)

Besides, more and more you only find old geezers in churches -.- (At least where i live... It's probably different for the U.S.A)

No we have a lot them here too....

having been raised in an atheistic family my first instinct is not to use religion, but more lately I've been leaning more towards agnosticism, and I don't know how I whould reacted if in my childhood anyone close to me had died, honestly even from the godless side of this question I still can't see a clear solution, glad I don't have to yet

I've been an atheist all my life. I've lost my mother, father, a son, and a pack of relatives. It hurts like hell but I don't pretend they are playing ring around the rosie on a cloud somewhere. They are completely gone and I resent the attempts of religious people who have tried to anesthetize the pain. It's real and important that I feel it because the pain shows me how important they were. It usually is very intense for about 10 years. After that it's more endurable.

Most children like having friends. Additionally, most adults want their children to make friends. In fact, if an adult didn't want a child to develop good/acceptable social skills, then they wouldn't seek their children's best interest, and promoting a mingling with peers is seen as the way to do this.


I live in the USA. And the notion of "families dragging their children to church" really doesn't fit if there are only old geezers that go to church, as then there isn't enough of a culture to speak about the matter.


Yeah, I picked that up as well as the questions and premises upheld wouldn't make sense for a person who was religious.