For Fun, daftest way that you have injured yourself

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Today I visited the ER to have a large burn on my hand attended to. The burn was caused by me adjusting the petrol engine of my pressure cleaner and balancing my self by placing my hand firmly upon the exhaust.

So just for laughs, how have you attempted to get a Darwin Award honourable mention

@ Dent.

Do you expect many replies?

Well ok ...
I was riding my bicycle one day, years ago, and the squeaking noise was driving me nuts. So I kicked the bicycle mid-ride, got my foot stuck in the front wheel and flew head over heels off the seat, landing on my back on the road.
Could have been worse!
These days, if I want to attack an inanimate object, I'm usually more careful.

I was draining spaghetti and missed the sink,pouring boiling water directly on my feet. Not the worst injury, just the dumbest.

Besides thoughtlessly bumping into walls, dressers, and tables...

One time I was experimenting with an acid called TCA. Plastic surgeons use it to peel the skin in order to give it a more healthy appearance. Anyways, I was working for this surgeon and I was doing the peels so I did a little experimenting with it on myself. I put it on my leg to see what would happen to this brown spot. I wanted to see if I could burn it deep enough to get rid of the spot. I left it on too long and made a scar. I was in between clients and bored so I thought what the hell.

I've had plenty of these.

On the subject of riding bikes, when I was 13 I decided to test the notion that if you hit the front brake too hard you fly over the handlebars. I didn't understand the physics involved and my bike's brakes were fairly sh***y so I didn't believe it to be true. I was riding down a hill at high speed and reached across and ripped into my front brake full force with both hands.

Naturally I was straight up launched over the front and landed directly on my head on the pavement. I was wearing a helmet so I was fine, I actually would have been worse off if I'd landed somewhere other than my head.

I was lounging on my bed (steel framed) reading when my doorbell rang. I sprang out of my bed with the speed and quickness of a jungle cat, just, minus their agility. I shattered one of my toes, causing me to barrel roll into my tv set cracking it, and concussing myself.

No, I did not reach the door in time to accept my pizza.

Slicing my finger open working on a My Little Pony custom, mixing acetone and paint thinner and spilling it on me (had a burn for about a year), not tethering myself to the treadmill (didn't like the way it felt) and loosing blance and sliding across the convayer at topspeed, scraping open my foot (couldn't wear shoes or socks for weeks) and banging my head so hard I practicaly had a concusion, my brother and I were figthing over the remote, I tripped over his shoes and bumped my head on the courner of a brick fixture and needed staples in my head.

Holy hell, you're lucky to be sitting here reminiscing with us.

I've never really hurt myself majorly before, but I've had tons of small injuries before. I can usually remember what happened when I see the scars. Let's see... circluar one on my left knee, I was running around in the dark at my campsite in Huzzah Valley in Missouri, and speared my leg on a toasting fork. Big patchy one between my ring and pinky fingers on left hand - riding my Razor scooter down this hill back at my old house in Cordova, TN, hit a bump that was too big for it to clear and went flying, naturally landed on the concrete going about 20 mph with my hand underneath the rest of my body. Weird cross shape on my wrist... that was a combination cat scratch and a laceration from a kite string during a gale-force gust, they just happened to be perpendicular to each other. Also strained my other wrist while sparring with my friend on a trampoline, needed a wrist brace for that one. Twisted my ankle once by just stepping wierd on a curb. Of course, the majority of my injuries these days comes from bike accidents. During any given winter in Laramie at least 30% of the streets are covered in ice, snow, or sand-snow mix. Tonight I hit an ice patch on the way home from Hastings and slid a good ten feet. Would've hurt myself more if I hadn't been wearing so many layers for the cold.

I may have a genius intellect, but I probably shouldn't be alive with the types of experimentation I've done. The worst was when I was about 12, and my parents gave me my sister's old curling iron to take apart. I took the cord out, and decided to see what happens when you plug the freed cord into the wall socket and put the two ends together. For a split second, nothing happened, and I actually thought "Huh, nothing." I then proceeded to wake up an hour later on the other side of my room, my hands black and fingernails silver from the current flash-burning the top layers of cells off.

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
Mel Brooks

How is all this relevant to PPR? <.<

One of the daftest things I ever did was when I was around 10. A friend had got an air powered rubber sucker gun. It was quite powerful. After playing with it for a while I'd forgotten if it was loaded or not. So I looked down the barrel of the gun to see if I could see the rubber sucker, couldn't see anything so decided to find out by pulling the trigger but forgot to remove my eye from the end of the barrel first... it was loaded. I couldn't see a thing for hours. Lucky not to have blinded myself.

I was once injured - willingly it seems - by letting myself listen to Dent rant about the virtues of Marxism.

Oh you mean tissue damage?

Hmm. I was about 10 and standing in a watery ditch by the road. I cut a handful of reeds and proceeded to slash the cat-tails with my knife. I missed of course, and cut myself to the bone above my index finger and between the first and second knuckles of my thumb.

It felt like dragging a knife through wet sand. I remember it clearly.

It didnt start to bleed immediately, so I ran for home, about 3/4 of a mile away. My brother yelled that I my bike would be faster, but after cutting myself, common sense made an appearance and I knew that a bloody handle bar would be tricky to hold onto. The road home was gravel, and if I had followed his advice, likely two accidents would have befallen me that day.

Anyway. Only five stitches. Four on my hand and one on my thumb. I can still count the holes. I was very fascinated by the process of having them installed.

I was thinking I've been pretty lucky with regard to dumb accidents, then I remembered...

We used to have an African grey in the family (now she is in a sanctuary with her homies). I was playing chicken with her, so I decided to stick my lip through the bars, after a couple safe retreats she bit me through the lip. It was really clean literally like a knife through jelly. So I went to A&E to get some stitches I still have a scar beneath my lip in a V shape.

Another one was try to catch a soft ball whilst looking directly into the sun (no I'm not North American). Split my eyebrow got stitches.

My sister tried to iron whilst she was wearing her clothes

What about the dumbest way you miraculously escaped injuring yourself? That would be the time when someone didn’t believe be when I said I could light the gas tank of this lawn mower at school with my plastic cap gun. I took this as a challenge, sure enough it lit up. Then I kind of realised I probably shouldn’t have done that. Bear in mind I was like 8 years old. We tried to smother it with a pool float of all things. Fortunately we didn’t persist and retreated. We agree not to tell anyone. Some teachers saw the smoke an put it out.

Last edited by 0_equals_true on 16 Dec 2009, 7:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.

We don't do that here either.

I broke my arm at age six from swinging between my bed and my dresser and flipping over.

I fractured my left foot at age twelve after jumping off my grandma's storage shed.

I sliced my thumb with the sharp edge of a can lid at age fourteen and I still have the scar to this day.