Am I agnostic??

Post Reply New Topic

Well I have been pondering where I fit in the whole religious identification thing.

I used to be penicostal because I was born into it (sigh), but then when I went to college, I was recruted into a campus cult when all I was looking for was a bible study group. Because of my penicostal background, I thought this charasmatic group was ok...but things got weirder and weirder, but I was already taken in. One thing led to another and I nearly killed myself after almost being raped, and I really nutted up and told my pastor about the halucinations that I was having...and he told me that God said it was my fault for seeking attention. So I went off the deep end and was very sucidal. Every day was a struggle to live for about 2 months. Then my mom picked me up for spring break and found out my condition...and got me help and some meds. Well afterwards, I started putting together what happened and went online and learned that it was a cult by the definitions of a cult on www.rickross.com. After learning that it was a cult, and that my faith was exploited for material gain and mind control, I had a spiritual crisis. I tried, really tried, to be athiest, but I could not, not out of fear of damnation, but out of faith. However, my faith in religion itself is eroded. I now see that there is some truth in most religions that can be of benifit for humanity, but most religions, that I know of, are plagued by an epidemic of mind control tactics. Slowly, my faith in religions has diminished and I still have a deep faith in God....but as the bumper sticker says...I bothered by his fan club. Does this make me an agnostic??? It kinda crept up on me...I never really saw this coming.

be gentle on me about the cult...I was only 19 and was very nieve and very trusting and believed in the good in all people...I did not know that ppl like this existed.

Jojo

These are just words, but I'm gonna try to give you a couple of definitions and some brief personal observations on the matter...
"Atheism" means lack of belief in a deity. That is, not necessarily disbelief in a deity or belief that there is no deity, but lack of belief that there is. A cat is an atheist because it can't even begin to grasp the concept of a deity. A newborn baby is an atheist because it has yet to hear of a deity. I am an atheist because I've heard of deities and am not convinced of their existence.
"Agnosticism" is a position of uncertainty. There are both agnostic atheists and agnostic theists. An agnostic atheist is one who doesn't believe in gods but considers it possible that there might be. An agnostic theist is one who believes in a god or gods but admits there's a chance that they might possibly be imaginary.
There are also so-called "gnostic theists" and "gnostic atheists". A gnostic theist considers it an unquestionable fact that gods are real, while a gnostic atheist is convinced that the existence of gods is completely impossible. I would call myself a gnostic atheist, on the basis that the universe doesn't behave in a way that a universe with supernatural magic in it, or a universe controlled by an intelligence, would, and every mystery that has ever been solved has turned out to be not magic. I could give more reasons why I personally don't believe in gods, but that would be going off topic and I don't wish to waste your time.
Then there are anti-theists, who are of the opinion that belief in gods is inherently harmful.
Personally I'd compare faith to alcohol or other drugs. It can potentially be very harmful, but it can also provide people with a false sense of security or happiness, and it's none of my business what people do as long as they don't hurt anyone. But when they do hurt people, and when they push it on children, it bothers me quite a bit. So I guess I'm a moderate anti-theist in that sense. Note that this doesn't mean that I have anything at all against people who believe, just the beliefs themselves and the acts they may lead to.
I'm sorry if I somehow managed to offend anyone with this post. It is not my intention, I'm just providing some definitions and my observations on them.

An agnost isnt sure if god(s) exists or not. That doesnt sound like you.

I am sorry such a thing happened to you.

If you still believe in God then you're a theist, if your faith in God is faultering then you're an agnostic theist. But the latter doesn't seem to be the case as you're only losing faith in the deity's followers, not the deity itself.

So going off what you've told us, no, you're not agnostic.

Seems that the original poster is only losing faith in organized religion. Unorganized theist, perhaps? Nondenominational Christian?

In a very generalized sense of the word "agnostic", everyone is "agnostic". Agnostic means to be without knowledge. There is too much knowledge for anyone with a finite mind to know everything, so nobody with a finite mine knows everything. Humans have finite minds, so they do not know everything. To not know everything is to be without knowledge to some degree. Humans are without knowledge to some degree, so humans are agnostic to some degree.

Of course, to be without knowledge of specific things, that can be a matter of searching out the information. Those who wish to know will search.

I don't know one way or the other.

ruveyn

Thank you for your explanation Vince...I have to agree with you on unorganized thiest, I gave up on christianity altogether...but I do like some aspects of buddhism, wicca, native american spirituality (but not enough to join them, just small aspects of the religion). I agree about the kids thing. I have a friend that was born into a cult...she never had a chance, now she is a recovering drug addict and prostitute. When the kids in her cult rebelled...they did so in a big way because they believed that God hated them for not being perfect. How did you become atheist?

Fuzzy, life happens...the good thing is that I dont have any innocence to lose again

lecks- ya I find that when people gather together and are willing to be led by someone instead of thier own inner guide...people lose their inner compass

Iamnotaparakeet- intersting view...I like how you explained that

I was born an atheist (just like you and everyone else), and all attempts to indoctrinate me into theism have failed. I have never been a theist. When I was little, people tried to convince me of the existence of God and other religious ideas. It just sounded made up to me. So I asked if they were trying to pull a trick on me, and they replied no. So I went to my dad and I asked him, "Is God real?". He replied, (and I rephrase as I was probably about five years old at the time and don't remember the exact words... also it was in Swedish) "Some people believe in one god, some believe in a different god, some believe in many gods. What you should believe is for you to figure out, not for me to tell you.". So I decided to settle for not knowing for a while, until I've gathered more information. So I kept listening to people trying to convince me of the existence of God, and I kept not buying it. It was just so completely obvious to me that this God fellow is pretty much the same deal as Santa Claus or any old fairy tale. Years have gone by, and I have read and listened carefully to all arguments I could possibly find for the existence of God, and it's all so transparent, so clearly designed by the human imagination. From all I've gathered about history, religion, the universe, and the human psyche, It's completely obvious to me that the idea of an anthropomorphic, thinking universe, the idea of a supernatural creator, the idea of prayer and all other aspects of the concept of a deity are just that: Ideas.
I'm fairly certain that if there was a god, my extensive gathering of information on the subject for all these years would have convinced me by now (or at least pointed me in the direction of it being likely) that God is in fact real. Instead, I have only become more and more certain that God is a figment of the imagination of a being who fears uncertainty and would rather make up an answer than admit her own lack of knowledge. If there was a god, there wouldn't be any question about it.
I don't know who said it, but I heard the following question once (though possibly worded differently) and it struck me as quite poignant: "If there is a god, then why does the Universe continuously behave exactly like a universe that doesn't have a god in it?"

That said, any and all, feel free to convince me I'm wrong and I just haven't heard your convincing argument yet.

I guess that is were I differ than most people who believe in God(s) is that I dont tell people what to believe. In my eyes, each to their own. I respect your nonbelief as I do others beliefs in any other faiths.

But if you want to know (not in an effort to convince you), I have had several supernatural experiences in my life...I should be dead a few times over but I am not because of these experiences. One example as when I went to the woods that I always did to hang out because I am a nature lover...well I kept having this creepy feeling that I dont usually have going into the woods, and an image of a snarling dog kept flashing in my mind...well I was trying to ignore it because I loved the woods...I got to the edge of the woods with this image still coming to mind. I clearly felt someone grab my arm and pull me back. I looked behind me and no one was around anywhere. I took it was a hint that I needed to leave. A few days later, I saw on the news that a rabid dog was caught within 5 blocks of where the woods were.

I have had several similar experiences like this. I have dreams about things and they have been known to happen a few weeks later. I remember once I developed a strange and severe phobia of semi trucks for about 6 weeks. Everytime one would even get close to the car, I would start screaming. Well one night, my mom was taking me back to college...the road back was a long (120 miles) 2 lane road without a shoulder. Well halfway there...the car was hit very hard from behind...and was lifted off the back wheels. I looked behind us...there was a semi truck still driving. well mom (lucky us, had front wheel drive) romped on the gas and tore part of our bumper off to get loose. It took about a mile to regain stability of the car and the truck passed us. Hit and run. Meanwhile my mom had a heart attack while this was happening because she has an unstable heart. The police looked at the car and the gas tank was dented in pretty far...he was amazed that it did not explode. So we had to get a friend to pick us up. The police did not find out who did this, but a trucker was arrested 10 years later for killing people in about 2 dozen hit and run accidents on that same road each time.

I have a bizzare life, always have, alot of the time I wish I had a normal life without much drama. When I start telling new friends about my life, at first they dont believe me untill they spend more time with me and watch the odd things happen to me.

But anyway, that among other things is why I believe what I do.
However, I am not telling you this to convince you...because that is not my buisness, but because I thought you would like to know how I came to this conclusion.

I have several friends that are athiests... and we get along fine because we agreed to disagree respectfully.
I am rather drawn to athiests because of their thinking patterns facinate me.

Well if you still have faith in the Christian God then you are undoubtedly a Christian. And from what you've said in your posts, it looks like you're a tolerant Christian.

So many fancy a$$ ways to label a belief system...

I don't know. I could not say yes and I could not say no.

ruveyn