Is fighting against an abuser wrong?

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When I was 16 and my stepdad had threatened to physically throw me out the door of his horrid little trailer, I thought it would be cute to see how he liked it. So, when he was about to give me yet another demonstration of how "aged muscle is stronger" and all his crappy rhetoric of intimidation prior to physical abuse, I let him lead me to the door, then I turned us around, and picked the 210 Lb jerk up and threw him 10 feet off the deck. That was the day that he decided physical abuse was no longer a good method of manipulation against me.

Now, I could have been a doormat like my mom kept insisting me to be for the prior three years, but if I did, then wouldn't the next 7 years I had to deal with my stepdad probably just continue to be as awful as the first three of my decade in Hell? Was it wrong to give him a demonstration of the same type that he often gave to me? Yes, I'm suppose to forgive, and I try to continue to do so, but it is easier to forgive when the offenses have ceased. Should I have remained a doormat to my stepdad, or was responding in kind to give the message "I'm tired of putting up with this" the better option?

you were completely right when you fought back.

I'm sorry your mom was so wrapped up in his head games that she tried to make you act like a doormat.

It can be very dangerous to physically fight abusers, so I'm glad you were able to get the result you needed from it. Did he turn harder against your mom after that, or behave better towards both of you? It gets really touchy with those guys; they need to take it out on someone, which is why the professional advice is to leave the situation in a carefully planned way, but you didn't really have that option, did you?

Ha finally we agree on something

Of course you were correct in defending yourself. And the reason I so fully agree with you action? you did not go on to kick ten tons of s**t out of him.

I fought back when I was eighteen while visiting but I didn't get very far, my mother being taller and bigger than myself. She beat the crap out of me and literally swung me around the room by my hair with my feet flying out in mid-air because I had said I was "sick of this sh!t". How dare I use the s word. After the beating she kicked me out on the street after 11pm and I was stuck walking the streets trying to figure out where I was supposed to go. So I got one good slug in anyway, before she tore me up.

You never know how things like that might end up. Someone might get killed . I'm glad it worked out but I wouldn't have the temerity to advise you. I imagine it felt pretty good.

Abuse is always wrong, and if that action caused your stepdad to be more wary of you and stop the abuse, it was right. I volunteer in my country in the government and try to end domestic violence within the home., and i'm very passionate about this subject. Hope its all better now

IMO he had it coming.

Ashame not all children are big enough to defend themselves against douchebags like your stepdad.

No, just be sure you do not kill them.