Suicide is a horrible thing, but i dont think its selfish

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This has been on my mind a lot. Ive met so many people who knew people who commited suicide and they will always say that suicide is selfish and its a cowards way out of life. and I always ask them, and where were you when they commited suicide, their answer was never"Oh, i was trying to talk them out of it and comfort them through all their lifes problems" In health we were taught that usually a person will try and seek help whenever they consider suicide, or will give different signs while conversing that they are considering ending their life. And if thats the case then quite frankly people are the ones who are selfish, because they were never there for them when they were in pain. We were also taught that people who commit suicide only want the pain to go away, and not necessarily kill themselves, again, they want it to go away and yet no one offered to help make it go away. Before people start making accusations like that at people who commit suicide, i think they should think about what they couldve done to stop them. They couldve atleast noticed that while working with them or while being in school with them that they were feeling down and depressed and tried to cheer them up or ask whats wrong. Maybe doing that is all it takes to save a life. Again i think its a horrible thing to commit suicide and i dunno about you but i always cry when i hear stories of people, especially children commiting suicide and ending their lives, and the first thing that runs though my mind is "i wish i couldve been there to help comfort them", instead of "Look at that, that selfish person, worthless coward"

I have known [that I am aware of] three who suicided - two of them relatives.

I have known more - some close to me - who have died untimely, and some who have died after a full life.

Any death of one I know affects me - and others. No, it does not diminish me, but it is an ache in the gut and - when untimely - a slap in the face.

If a young woman, wife and mother to a family, involved in a circle of friends and relations, dies - a car crash, a stray bullet, a disease, poisoning - those friends and relations are affected, that family is hurt.

If my aunt, wife and mother to a family, involved in a circle of friends and relations, shoots herself - which happened - they are hurt. They are, I would say, harmed.

We presume that the person weighed the options. If I live, it will hurt me and others [we harm people by living, too, of course] THIS much. If I die, it will hurt me [death is not always painless] and others THAT much. We assume she felt THAT pain was less than THIS.

But - don't say there is no harm.

It's just a matter of opinion and people can have their own view. The pejoratives are there to discourage others, not rationally evaluate it.

It's like when people called the 9/11 hijackers cowards. It was just a label meant to be insulting and make the act seem additionally unattractive. I'm not sure if being willing to give up your own life to kill those you believe to be your enemies is cowardice in any sense that I recognize. There are many other terms that fit better.

The selfish thing assumes that we 'owe' it to other people to remain alive. I don't believe it is right for anyone to live for the sake of anyone else. So I agree, it isn't a selfish act - or more accurately, it isn't an unjustifiably selfish act.

As long as we remain alive we owe it to ourselves and others to honor our commitments when possible. But the act of living itself should not be considered a moral necessity. Otherwise we are slaves to life, the way I see it.

That said, there are almost always better alternatives than death. And while I believe that people have that option, I also see it as an undesirable one - both for myself and in general.

Unfortunately, when discussing extreme topics we have to consider extreme scenarios. For the victim of modern slavery or abuse where death is their only logical way out, is it selfish of them to die? I doubt anyone would argue that it is. For someone else who has willingly become a parent or employee and has volunteered for their commitments, is it a selfish act? Yes, but I would argue that it isn't unjustifiably so. Just tragic.

The idea of it being selfish is just a result of a culture of blaim. It seems the first desire when people feel distress is to find someone to blaim. If that means blaiming the victim, they often will...

In the literal sense, to end one's life in order to put an end to unbearable suffering is an act that is perceived as being in the suicidal person's self-interest. Thus by definition it is selfish if you take out the pejorative intention in the use of that word. On the other hand suicide is no more selfish than plenty of other actions people take that do not receive the same pejorative condemnation.

I would argue that the belief that suicide is immoral is selfish. Unwillingness to accept something so tragic is not a valid excuse to condemn the victim as immoral. THAT is selfish bigoted assholery.

There are some who commit suicide to benefit their families, provided they have life insurance coverage.

I was thinking about this recently. I don't think suicide is at all cowardly - quite the opposite. It's a huge choice to make, and with plenty of risk - it can go wrong, it's often illegal (not sure how we're supposed to punish people for it, though...) and it does indeed have a huge knock on effect on everyone else.

If your life's in such a mess that suicide appeals, NOT going through with it is cowardly. It's taking the known path rather than risking the unknown. It's remaining passive rather than taking action. All that said, choosing not to die is also a positive action and that too takes courage. It's not making either choice that shows a weak will.

Whether suicide is morally right - that's another discussion. But cowardly? I don't think so.

It’s hard for most people to understand that most of the people who commit suicide don’t want to die. Suicidal people are suffocating, and everyone has a breaking point. If you want to know what it feels like to be truly suicidal (and not just someone crying out for help), hold your breath for as long as you possibly can. Eventually, you’re going to take a breath, no matter how hard you’re trying not to.

To use another analogy, let’s say a serial killer straps you to a chair. He shows you a bunch of nasty looking tools and says he’s going to torture you with them. He also tells you that he’s placed a button under your right hand, and the button is wired to a handgun pointed at your head. If you press the button, the gun will fire and you’ll be killed instantly. Then he starts, let’s say, snipping off your fingers with a pair of bolt cutters, or stabbing you with a red hot scalpel. No matter how much you don’t want to die, you’re going to push the button eventually.