How much do you like it when...

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How much do you like it when you say something and then others make the worst possible interpretations of it and then treat you as if you were saying what they mutilated your words to "mean"?

That I didn't think before I posted or perhaps they may be right.

I take responsibility for the poor clarity of my meaning.

That is to say, the only meaning my words have is the meaning gleaned from them.

Love, to me, is the same way. What lies in someone elses heart is unknowable. All that matters is how they make you feel. Thus it is possible to love someone and not be good for them. How you feel or what you think doesnt matter at all. Perceived effect is what counts.

This being an Aspie board, it can be difficult to sort out the genuine misunderstandings from the more malicious intentional misconstruing, but it's not impossible with practice, especially once you've been here a while and know where people stand. Practically anywhere politics is discussed you're going to have people who are more focused on "winning" the discussion than actually doing anything constructive, the trick is to focus less on refuting their attempts at discrediting you as a person and more on calling them on their BS. Use bold and italics to highlight exactly what they just did, and clearly ask that they engage your argument and not you personally.

I've learned to be religious about using emotes when it's not absolutely clear that I'm not being serious lest someone later try to quote me out of context, to be clear when I'm quoting from a source with a known bias, and to quickly fess up when I do make a mistake. Being meticulous about quoting other posters also is a good policy, unless I have to I try not to edit out any of another poster's quote. These and other behaviors send the message that I'm on the level and trying to have an honest discussion, so when someone comes in trying to pull a Michael Moore on me, I have a whole posting history to back me up and they end up looking like a jerk that can't legitimately argue a point.

Also short, to the point posts give would be hatchet men less material to work with, so if you've got someone who keeps twisting your words around try shortening up on them.

Last edited by Dox47 on 06 Sep 2010, 10:55 am, edited 1 time in total.

Obviously nobody likes being misinterpreted.

If it happens to you frequently then there maybe something wrong with the way you state things.

It could be an aspie related thing.

A young lady on another aspie website complained about how folks on non-aspie sites would accuse of her saying things "belween the lines" of her posts that were offensive She would frequently get verbally beaten up for things she didnt say or mean.

She said that "with me there is no 'between the lines'".

Apparently she had an inability to sense when what she was saying seemed to be impying things that she didnt mean and failed to edit herself.

Oh boo hoo!! I'm such a victim. Feel sorry for me because no one understand me.

j/k :p


I'd recommend merely going at it from a practical standpoint: see where the disconnect is and try to fix that problem. If someone completely missed what you said say that they misunderstood your point and then restate it in a different manner.

It doesn't really bother me too much anymore because I tend to do a lot of reading on semantics, the concepts of subjective vs objective reality, and the observation of verbal and ideological patterns that people fall into. It's not really their fault, it's not really your fault...there just tends to be a disconnect due to numerous instances that build up to what the person is.

It really depends on the situation. Sometimes you can speak (or type) quite plainly, yet someone will leap to a conclusion that was light years from your intended meaning.

Of course, sometimes we all just phrase our thoughts incredibly poorly. Though like a dog with a bone, it can be hard to retract an unintended meaning in the face of a rabid conversant looking for an argument.

*edit* ironically enough, I don't mean to imply that this only happens with people who are experienced or knowledgable on a subject, but this often seems to be the case.

If I express myself ambiguously, I fully expect to get called on it.

However, if someone is deliberately mangling my meaning, then I will tend to jump back in to correct them.