Page 1 of 2 [ 17 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

Awesomelyglorious
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Dec 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 14,316
Location: Omnipresent

16 Nov 2010, 10:52 pm

(Please note that this issue gets into some mild sexual issues. Nothing too severe, but, I do want people to be informed and self-exclude as necessary)

Onanism is a term for things such as coitus interruptus, but also, perhaps more commonly, masturbation.

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/onanism

Well, as everybody knows, the internet was created for a reason. That reason is to purvey material to aid with Onanism of the sort that is perhaps more common. This fact is noted throughout culture, such as in music.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NiFD6EFVsTg[/youtube] (please note some crudity, and please exclude yourself if you are not a party who feels it is appropriate to watch)

Well, the problem is that Onanism is often condemned by the Judeo-Christian religions. What this entails is that if these religions were successful at suppressing Onanism, they would also have prevented certain institutions, and/or reduce the efficacy of certain institutions, supported by Onanism. Ultimately, the Judeo-Christian religions, if successful, would have prevented the formation of the internet and the freer sharing of information through it, if they were successful at suppressing Onanism. Well, because they seek to be successful at suppressing Onanism, Judeo-Christian religions are indirectly opposed to the internet. Opposing the internet means hating happiness and WP. Ergo, Judeo-Christian religions hate happiness and WP. Do you want to worship in a religion that hates religion and happiness?

PS: I am more STRIDENTLY atheist.



Master_Pedant
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Mar 2009
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,926

16 Nov 2010, 11:17 pm

:lol:

Now, now, viewing .... wasn't the inital function of the web, it was merely a serendipitous exaptation.


_________________
http://www.voterocky.org/


Awesomelyglorious
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Dec 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 14,316
Location: Omnipresent

16 Nov 2010, 11:19 pm

Master_Pedant wrote:
:lol:

Now, now, viewing .... wasn't the inital function of the web, it was merely a serendipitous exaptation.

That's just crazy talk! :x



Master_Pedant
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Mar 2009
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,926

16 Nov 2010, 11:22 pm

Awesomelyglorious wrote:
Master_Pedant wrote:
:lol:

Now, now, viewing .... wasn't the inital function of the web, it was merely a serendipitous exaptation.

That's just crazy talk! :x


That's just fundamentalist First Church of Masturbation historical revisionism.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet#History

^ As a member of the liberal, modernist wing of the First Church of Masturbation I water down the Church's scripture with real history! :wink:


_________________
http://www.voterocky.org/


Orwell
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Aug 2007
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,765
Location: Room 101

16 Nov 2010, 11:29 pm

Master_Pedant wrote:
First Church of Masturbation

Please tell me that's not an actual thing.


_________________
WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH


Master_Pedant
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Mar 2009
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,926

16 Nov 2010, 11:31 pm

Orwell wrote:
Master_Pedant wrote:
First Church of Masturbation

Please tell me that's not an actual thing.


It's from a Daily Show skit that, I believe, aired during 2005 and it's also a facebook page:

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2200901442


_________________
http://www.voterocky.org/


Wombat
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Oct 2006
Age: 71
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,051

16 Nov 2010, 11:37 pm

Awesomelyglorious wrote:
Well, as everybody knows, the internet was created for a reason. That reason is to purvey material to aid with Onanism of the sort that is perhaps more common. This fact is noted throughout culture, such as in music.


Well they say that more than half the traffic on the internet is porn. The other half is spammers sending me emails to buy viagra.

(Question: Who told all these spammers that I am a fat guy with small private parts who needs to buy Viagra, borrow money and meet Russian women? Did someone I know "rat me out"?) :lol:



auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 94,154
Location: the island of defective toy santas

17 Nov 2010, 3:25 am

Wombat wrote:
Awesomelyglorious wrote:
Well, as everybody knows, the internet was created for a reason. That reason is to purvey material to aid with Onanism of the sort that is perhaps more common. This fact is noted throughout culture, such as in music.


Well they say that more than half the traffic on the internet is porn. The other half is spammers sending me emails to buy viagra.


the latter is to help us old-timers better enjoy the former.



Fuzzy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Mar 2006
Age: 47
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,532
Location: Alberta Canada

17 Nov 2010, 3:31 am

Ah, sticks and stones, Kate monster!


_________________
davidred wrote...
I installed Ubuntu once and it completely destroyed my paying relationship with Microsoft.


Sand
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Sep 2007
Age: 94
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,876
Location: Finland

17 Nov 2010, 11:08 am

Unfortunately the video is forbidden to be shown in Finland for copyright considerations. Most of us are fairly well acquainted with onanistic technique anyway. Not necessarily to the capability of entering the Olympics but merely for regular utility.



Fuzzy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Mar 2006
Age: 47
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,532
Location: Alberta Canada

17 Nov 2010, 11:31 am

Sand wrote:
Unfortunately the video is forbidden to be shown in Finland for copyright considerations. Most of us are fairly well acquainted with onanistic technique anyway. Not necessarily to the capability of entering the Olympics but merely for regular utility.


Its not anything like that Sand. Its a puppet show wherein the characters sing a silly song about the primary purpose of the internet.

Try this one?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-TA57L0kuc[/youtube]


_________________
davidred wrote...
I installed Ubuntu once and it completely destroyed my paying relationship with Microsoft.


Sand
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Sep 2007
Age: 94
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,876
Location: Finland

17 Nov 2010, 11:49 am

Fuzzy wrote:
Sand wrote:
Unfortunately the video is forbidden to be shown in Finland for copyright considerations. Most of us are fairly well acquainted with onanistic technique anyway. Not necessarily to the capability of entering the Olympics but merely for regular utility.


Its not anything like that Sand. Its a puppet show wherein the characters sing a silly song about the primary purpose of the internet.

Try this one?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-TA57L0kuc[/youtube]


Thanks.



waltur
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2009
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 924
Location: california

17 Nov 2010, 5:15 pm

Sand wrote:
Unfortunately the video is forbidden to be shown in Finland for copyright considerations. Most of us are fairly well acquainted with onanistic technique anyway. Not necessarily to the capability of entering the Olympics but merely for regular utility.



liberal americans love loving finland, lately.

or, as i can't help but say it, "finrand."

onanism should totally be an olympic sport.


_________________
Waltur the Walrus Slayer,
Militant Asantist.
"BLASPHEMER!! !! !! !!" (according to AngelRho)


auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 94,154
Location: the island of defective toy santas

18 Nov 2010, 1:42 am

waltur wrote:
liberal americans love loving finland, lately.


me too.

waltur wrote:
onanism should totally be an olympic sport.


gives new meaning to the shotput.



91
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Oct 2010
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,063
Location: Australia

18 Nov 2010, 2:59 am

This is probably not the best argument you have put forward AG.


_________________
Life is real ! Life is earnest!
And the grave is not its goal ;
Dust thou art, to dust returnest,
Was not spoken of the soul.