03 Oct 2012, 3:45 pm
03 Oct 2012, 3:48 pm
That's really sad how it changed both of you that way. 
I hope you don't think life isn't worthwhile because of it?
03 Oct 2012, 3:54 pm
AspieRogue wrote:
How you imagine being violated(sexually) to feel like is very different from how it would actually feel like if it was done to you IRL. I guarantee it. I certainly wouldn't wish this upon you but I hope that you'll understand why this is not something to take lightly.
I accept your apology, but I thought that your comments were unfair and insensitive to people who have been raped(either in childhood or adulthood).
I accept your apology, but I thought that your comments were unfair and insensitive to people who have been raped(either in childhood or adulthood).
Well, come to think of it, I have a story.
A few months ago, someone threw an egg at me from their car. It hurt a little bit, I actually for a second half thought I had been shot though the pain wasn't that severe. I then realized there were eggshells and yolk in my hair. The person who threw it yelled 'f*ck you' to me.
I remember blaming myself, thinking maybe I had jaywalked and cut someone off (I hadn't, but I'm not the best street crosser so
) and feeling really dirty and ashamed. I kinda felt like crying and for the next couple hours felt really bad about myself and angry. I'm not saying that compares to being raped but it sort of did make me understand a little bit why people blame themselves for bad things that happen to them. It was a degrading experience but nothing compared to rape yes, I imagine if I were raped I'd feel much worse than I did and for much longer, maybe even for a year or two. But I'm a pretty tough person and I think eventually I would more or less get over it.
03 Oct 2012, 4:07 pm
donnie_darko wrote:
That's really sad how it changed both of you that way. I hope you don't think life isn't worthwhile because of it?
I hope you don't think life isn't worthwhile because of it?No. I just think no-one should have to go through it. Like MOP, my sexual side of my abuse was minor. I know a boy who was raped when he was 5 and it ruined the whole rest of his childhood, even though he'd blocked it from his mind. It plays in your subconscious.
03 Oct 2012, 4:13 pm
03 Oct 2012, 4:38 pm
03 Oct 2012, 4:40 pm
03 Oct 2012, 4:44 pm
03 Oct 2012, 4:59 pm
Giftorcurse
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03 Oct 2012, 7:41 pm
04 Oct 2012, 12:22 am
AspieRogue wrote:
LKL wrote:
AspieRogue wrote:
LKL wrote:
See the above posts. Boys may not be able to get pregnant, but I talked about physical and psychological aspects.
Quite honestly, they are very different for boys than they are for girls. Especially given that women have to cope with the bio/physiological consequences of sex whereas men really don't unless they contract a venereal disease. Most underage boys who have sex with adult women seldom regret it. In fact, if I had been offered sex as a teenager with an adult woman who I thought was sexy, well, quite frankly I would not have refused(though knowing me I'd have insisted that she supply me with a jimmy
). Sometimes teenage boys do regret having sex with someone; as do adult men. But I am cynical of claims that underage boys are somehow "overpowered" by adult women who they sleep with when it happens. Often it's the boy who initiates and the woman who accepts.I don't think that teen boys are 'overpowered' by their assailants; frequently, teen girls are not 'overpowered,' either, and participate enthusiastically. It's still statutory rape for a 15 year old to have sex with a 25 year old because the 15 year old isn't yet capable of understanding the consequences of their actions. If a 15 year old boy has unprotected sex with a 25 year old woman, do you really think he understands the significance of becoming a father?
Adults who prey on children often promise them everlasting love and tell the child how 'mature' they are, how they're 'different' and 'better' than all of their friends, but the adult isn't looking for a mutual relationship; they're looking for a relationship where they're completely dominant. It's part of why the abused tend to grow up to be abusers: once they realize how much they've been taken advantage of, it's difficult for them to trust someone in a true mutual relationship again.
That statement in bold is unprovable at this time since you cannot possible determine what's going on in that 15 year old's mind. The structural development of the brain being incomplete and distinct from that of an adult is also not proof that EVERY single teenager of aged 15 had exactly the same level of maturity. Furthermore, WTF makes you think that everyone who is older than the age of 18 has the emotional maturity to truly appreciate and anticipate the consequences of sexual intercourse? Some men in their 20s(and even beyond) don't fully comprehend the significance of being a father and go around shagging women with no plans to stick around which is why the LAW puts them on the hook for child support.
Another thing, I cannot possible speak for all teenage boys but when I was 15 or 16 I was not looking for "everlasting love" whatsoever! I was looking to get laid but was not interested in any kind of serious relationship. I suspect underage boys who bang adult women see the offer as a chance for easy sexual access and as something to brag about to their guy friends and don't see it as an intimate act the way you women do.
Oodain
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04 Oct 2012, 12:53 am
04 Oct 2012, 1:16 am
Oodain
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04 Oct 2012, 1:22 am
04 Oct 2012, 2:58 am
Mummy_of_Peanut
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04 Oct 2012, 3:49 am
donnie_darko wrote:
That's really sad how it changed both of you that way. I hope you don't think life isn't worthwhile because of it?
Absolutely not. It was a humiliating experience and may or may not have contributed to my personality. However, I don't feel like my life isn't worthwhile. There's a lot more to me than a single episode which happened when I was 7yrs. But, I can't say that this would be the case if I had experienced more/severe abuse.
I hope you don't think life isn't worthwhile because of it?
